Eye of the Storm
by L'Ahem
Summary: In order to protect an innocent child, the Hokage did something many would call unforgivable. But would the ends justify the means this time? ANBU Naruto
1. In the Beginning

Eye of the Storm

This is my first story. I hope it meets the expectations of whomever reads it! (There is no guarantee on when I'll update, though. Things are crazy right now in real life, though this is a nice break from it.)

Summary: In order to protect an innocent child, the Hokage did something many would call unforgivable. But would the ends justify the means this time?

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Naruto. No, I do not own the plot. No, I do not care to repeat myself every single chapter.

Please note that there are two different Sasukes in this story. One is an Uchiha. The other is NOT.

* * *

><p>October 10th was not, as many would assume, a day of celebration in the Hidden Leaf Village. There were no festivals or people skipping happily in the streets, as they might during any celebration. Instead, it was a day of mourning. Many people—their best and their brightest, no less—had died; who in his or her right mind would throw a party for that? The village had won against a single foe, and the price they'd paid for defeating one enemy had been very high. In the end, none of their skills had done any good. Not one person had placed the smallest scratch on the beast; no one could touch it, including their legendary leader. In the end, it was only through the strength of a newborn infant that the demon had been conquered, and for a village of ninja and civilians filled with confidence and pride in their many talents, this was unforgivable.<p>

'Better to have been killed than disgraced,' more than a few secretly thought. Being humbled and humiliated so...effortlessly had infuriated them. Most took their humiliation to the point that they believed the babe had NOT truly been able to contain _It._ If their strengths, skills, and talents had not been enough, then, surely, neither was _his._ In their minds, it was only reasonable to assume that either the demon would break out the moment it thought its enemies weren't watching or that the boy and the monster were one and the same. Surely, no ordinary _child_ could stop such a beast!

Was it not more likely that the Yondaime had simply changed the creature's form and made it mortal? Was it not far more believable that it was merely biding its time? All the nonsense the Third spouted was just to make them leave the "boy" alone; what if, by killing the "infant," they accidentally released that _thing_ into the world again? What if it resumed its original form? Yes, they would not touch the "child," but they would not buy Sarutobi-sama's words. But they WOULD make the demon regret ever touching them; they would make it regret ever making them feel shame and fear. And then, once they'd found a way around its human body/form, they'd make sure to send it to the deepest pits of Hell—where it belonged!

Then, and only then, could the souls of their murdered loved ones rest and their wounded pride be healed. Then, and only then, would they ever dare celebrate. But it would never be on October 10th.

Of course, not everyone agreed to that, and sometimes, desperate measures had to be taken to protect the innocent.

* * *

><p>(May 17)<p>

"Father, I want to go! Why can't you just let me? I know I'm not as strong as you and never will be, but-"

"My son, this isn't one of your adventures. I've already lost your oldest brother to this man; I refuse to lose you, too. You know that you are no match for him-"

The twenty-year-old Asuma Sarutobi slammed his fist down onto the older man's desk. "Then, send my team! He's gonna keep killing people if we don't do something, and together, we can-"

"No. You are dismissed." He would say no more on the subject. His decision was final.

Asuma's eyes widened and his jaw dropped in shock. His father was dismissing him just like that? He was just going to let that murderer go free? The young man then clenched his jaw in rage. This was one order he refused to obey! His brother's killer would be brought to justice, be it through imprisonment and torture or through a trip to Hell by his own hand. No one—NO one!-would take that away from him.

No one.

He turned on his heel and walked out, never looking back. His team, formerly his brother's, was waiting for him to supposedly hear the Hokage's answer and obey. But Asuma knew the truth; they were going after the man no matter what. For him, for their best friend, even the life of a missing-nin wold be a small price to pay. Really, his father should have known better. Their tempers were much alike.

The Jounin quickly walked down the hall and exited through a window rather than taking the stairs. They were supposed to meet up on the top of the Hokage Monument as soon as possible, and he was looking forward to leaving. Akira and Gorou, the twin brothers of the Hisakawa family, would be eager to leave at once. Ibiki and he were the only ones that ever bothered to think ahead, so they occasionally had to restrain the others. Still, they didn't worry him. That was Satomi's job, after all. She always worried him.

Satomi had taken his death harder than any of them, including Asuma himself. She and his brother, Sasuke*, had always been rather close, and maybe even more than just friends. In fact, he was pretty sure they'd gone far beyond the limits of friendship a long time ago. He just hoped that she didn't let the thought of revenge go to her head. She was usually calm and cool—something he'd always admired in the fairer sex, as had Sasuke, obviously—but she'd recently been a little less...controlled. And she'd started acting that way BEFORE his brother's death. Asuma was really, really hoping it was just because of the winter weather. Some people's moods were affected by the seasons, after all, so maybe that was it.

But he wasn't counting on it and made a mental note to keep an eye on her.

Within minutes, he'd arrived at his location on top of the Second Hokage's head and discreetly checked for any presence that should not be there, such as ANBU or random civilians wanting to kiss in private...or worse. But, to his relief, he only sensed the two red-heads Akira and Gorou (whose presences were almost identical), the bald Ibiki, and dark-haired Satomi. They were alone.

He walked into the trees as quietly and secretly as a shadow and then whistled once, twice, and waited. A different whistle answered him, and four people landed silently on the ground in a circle surrounding him.

"Yo. Pops said no," he stated without embellishment.

For a moment, not a sound could be heard, and then, Gorou spoke up.

"So...when do we leave?"

Asuma cracked a grin. "Soon, man. Soon."

"First," Ibiki broke in, "we have to get some supplies and plans together. This guy's no pushover, so we're going to need to be prepared. Be sure to leave your wills behind, too. Like I said, this isn't going to be easy and we'll very likely die."

Satomi snorted. "Like you're one to talk, Ibiki. You've gotta take care of the...child. I imagine it's going to be pretty hard finding someone willing to take in _that_ kid."

Asuma had to agree. "Yeah, how are you going to handle it?"

The interrogator, for his part, merely glared at his comrades. "That's my business, not yours. Now, I say we meet up back here in twelve hours. We'll discuss the target and plans along the way. Asuma's probably already got at least four in mind, and I know I've got a few. We'll go over them and pick the best strategy. But for now, go spend some time with your family while you can."

With that, he abruptly turned and walked away; within moments, he had disappeared into the trees as though he were but a wraith. His teammates looked at each other, nodded, and went their separate ways.

But Satomi...she stayed behind for a moment longer and placed a trembling hand on her stomach. She was afraid.

* * *

><p>Ibiki sighed as he headed towards his home. Very few people knew where it was—supposedly for his own safety—and he liked it that way. Crowds bothered him; they offered enemies too many angles to attack from and were extremely irritating, besides. Therefore, he lived on the outskirts of the village where there were, happily, no neighbors around to really piss him off. The house was literally in the woods, and those didn't crowd Ibiki at all. His brother was there, of course, but Idate was hardly old enough to be much of a nuisance.<p>

'Well,' he mused to himself as he stepped through the front door and saw the damage, 'at least he can't be worse than Naruto.' Even at the age of two, he was rather destructive in a way the four-year-old Idate would (hopefully) never be. And apparently, the brat's favorite color was orange, and a bright shade of it, if the crayon marks on the wall were any indication.

The room, a rather plain square formation, was also surprisingly bare. An old, battered couch sat against the wall to the right, a rocking chair was right next to it, and something resembling a coffee table stood on the floor before them both. It was an awkward arrangement, but he was an interrogator, not an interior decorator.

However, this was too much. As far as Ibiki could tell, the little toddler had been using the coffee table as a canvas for his artistic side and then, after running out of room, had discovered the wooden floor to be every bit as useful. Then, he'd run out of floor and moved onto the walls. Orange, green, blue, and pink squiggles adorned every surface Naruto had been able to reach, but orange was the most prominent and therefore the favorite.

Even the babysitter's hair was now suspiciously orange. 'But how'd Naruto manage to change the color of it? Crayon doesn't go on hair...' A giggle caught his attention then, and two round, happy faces peered out from behind the couch. 'Two orange paint-splattered, round, happy faces,' Ibiki quickly corrected to himself. Now he knew how the sitter's hair had change colors, although he still had no idea how the two children had gotten the paint in the first place. _He_ certainly didn't keep any around the house. The feared interrogator shrugged and decided to figure out the details later. In the meantime, he had a fellow ninja to maim.

He stalked towards the rocking chair with two sets of bright eyes watching his every move. The man sitting there had no idea what was about to happen to him. How could he? The sitter was asleep with a book over his face and his head hanging off the back of the chair.

'Geez...one of the village's greatest, and he can't even keep an eye on a couple of children! Didn't he hear them moving around? An enemy ninja he'd catch, but when it comes to...' Ibiiki's thoughts trailed off as a cruel smirk planted itself on his face. An idea had just struck him and the opportunity was not something he could bring himself to pass up.

Two feet away from the sleeping sitter, Ibiki silently drew a kunai from the pouch on his right thigh and stared in amazement as Kakashi abruptly sprang up, sent his precious book _flying_, and had the interrogator's own kunai at Ibiki's neck before he could blink.

The young Morino wasn't afraid. No, instead, he found the whole situation absolutely hilarious. A grin spread across his face and he just couldn't help pointing out a few things to the legendary ninja holding him hostage. "Wow, Kakashi. No wonder the Hokage won't let you take care of Naruto. As a guard, you're great, but as a parent, you suck."

Kakashi, who was still blinking the sleep out of his eye(s), lowered the weapon and handed it back to Ibiki without a word. Then, he looked around and his eye widened. "What the...?"

For the first time in a long time, the scarred Ibiki burst out laughing. "You—ha!-should see your HAIR!"

"M-my hair?" He reached up a hand to run it through his previously gray locks and stopped abruptly. _"What_ is _that_?" the Jounin asked in a dangerous tone.

All Ibiki did was point to the two boys laughing behind the couch, since he was still having a hard time speaking. Bright orange was NOT a good color on Sakumo's son. And the look on his face-!

Kakashi quickly hopped over the gate separating the living room from the rest of the house and ran up the hall to the bathroom. The moment he turned on the light and looked into the mirror, he screamed.

And Ibiki, poor Ibiki, just couldn't take it anymore and collapsed as he desperately tried to get some oxygen past his very loud laughter. He noticed the two boys having the same problem and thought, 'Idate may not be _worse_ than Naruto, but the two of them together could take down an empire!'

His fellow ninja was far less amused and stomped towards the doubled-over man. "IBIKI! **What did you do to my hair!**"

"Hahaha! Oh, me? I didn't do anything! It was-" he snorted and pointed to the paint-splattered children, "-_them_!"

"Wha—NARUTO!"

After everyone had calmed down (and Kakashi had stopped crying about his beautiful hair...mostly), the two teenagers sent the two boys to their room and sat on the couch. Ibiki figured he could just hire a Genin team to clean, so he wasn't too upset about the mess. Plus, with his friend still inwardly seething with humiliation, he figured it'd be a good idea to move on to more important things. Therefore, it was the perfect time to address a situation he'd been thinking about for awhile.

"She's pregnant."

Kakashi, startled, just blinked for a moment. "Okay...who?"

"Satomi."

The Sharingan user's one , visible eye widened. "Holy shi-"

"Yeah," Ibiki interrupted. "And she's going with us to take down Dragon."

Kakashi slapped his forehead. "That _idiot!_ Doesn't she care about what could happen to the child? This is the man who took out Sasuke single-handedly!"

"I know that, but she's scared and isn't thinking straight, and there's not much I can do about it except go with her to keep her safe." He shifted uncomfortably and sighed. "This Dragon...we're not even sure _how_ he did it, much less _why_, and yet the whole team wants to go after him. Arrogant, little fools don't have a single clue what they're doing, but they're doing it, anyway. And I'm stuck playing babysitter! Er, no offense, Kakashi."

"None taken. It is, after all," he said with an air of wisdom, "a dangerous job."

Ibiki couldn't help but snicker at that. "Yes, you could lose your hair at any time."

"Hey, those brats ambushed me! They-"

"Aren't even five years old, while _you_ are supposed to be a trained ninja—one of the very best and one of the very few possible contenders for the position of Godaime. Anything else you want me to point out?"

Kakashi just crossed his arms and glared.

The interrogator sniffed. "Fine. Sit there and pout, but we've got a real problem on our hands. Sarutobi-sama knows Asuma's not going to listen to him, and he also knows that the rest of Sasuke's team would chase Dragon down to the ends of the earth."

"And you wouldn't?"

He shot a glance at his friend. "Not out of revenge, no. And not unless I was pretty sure I knew the situation well enough to survive, either. This is our job, Kakashi. We are soldiers who follow orders and do what we can to protect our loved ones. We don't go _looking for a fight._ Do I think Dragon is dangerous? Yes. Do I think he needs to be killed? Definitely. Are we the best people for the job? I seriously doubt it."

"You're too personally involved."

"Yes, we are. And they are all fools for not realizing this."

"So, what's your objective?"

"To do my best to slow them down and distract them while a team of ANBU and Hunter-nin chase him down. If it comes to it, I'm to do my best to protect them."

"You think you can"? Kakashi seemed skeptical.

Ibiki shrugged and smirked. "You're not the only one on that list for Godaime, you know. I've got some tricks up my sleeve yet. If necessary, I might be able to hold him off long enough for help to arrive." Then, his smile disappeared. "But I don't think I could beat him. Sasuke was extremely powerful, just like his father and grandfather. His name was on that list, too, and God knows he kicked my butt regularly in our spars. The Dragon is either extremely crafty or so powerful that he'll kill us on the spot. Either way, we shouldn't be doing this."

Kakashi sighed. "Then, I guess I'll just have to go along with you to watch your back." He stood up to leave and pack, but Ibiki's next words stopped him.

"No, Kakashi. You're needed here."

"Hmm?"

"You're very powerful, but someone needs to watch over Naruto. That's more important that this, and you know it, and I don't dare trust anyone else with his safety. You're one of the few who know about him and can handle it. If you and I both die, he'll have no one but the Hokage to watch out for him, and _everyone_ knows how busy he is. What kind of life would that be for the kid?"

Kakashi sat back down in frustration. "Then, what do you want me to do!"

Ibiki stood up this time. "Just stay here 'til I get back or you get word of...well, until you know what's going on. I've got to get some supplies ready. We leave in the morning. You can just stay in the guest room, if you like. It'll give you a chance to get away from all your fans."

The Jounin shuddered. "It's not the females I'm worried about."

He snickered. "Gai giving you trouble again?"

"Yeah. Yesterday, he challenged me to a mud-wrestling contest! I mean, does he have _any idea_ how unsanitary that is! And stop laughing!"

"S-sorry," he choked out. "He sure does pay extra-close attention to you. Are you _sure_ he's not gay?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. He's just a social idiot, is all. Maybe he was dropped on his head a few times as an infant or something..."

Ibiki had to agree. It sure did sound like the former Lady Maito—she'd always dropped everything. Legend had it that she'd once been transporting a diamond-encrusted bowling ball to the Daimyo's nephew for his birthday present and had first dropped it in a random tar pit, then into a river (which had NOT cleaned off all the tar), and then had somehow managed to toss it off a cliff. Still, she'd managed to clean it up and get it to the young lord's party just in time, and no one on her team would say anything about _how._ They just shuddered and walked away when anyone mentioned it.

After the Lady Maito had left her husband for reasons unknown, she'd raised her young son by herself, and any social skills that Gai could have learned from his father were forgotten as though they'd never existed. The world had not stopped mourning the loss since. Her death last year had taken everyone by surprise, and her son had been even stranger after the funeral. As for Gai's father, he'd simply disappeared after his divorce, so there was no one to take care of him. Friends were all he had left, and his loneliness showed.

But Kakashi knew this, so there was no reason for Ibiki to point it out. The scarred man merely nodded. "Well, when you're watching over the Terrible Two, just remember what happens when you stop paying attention to them. They get _bored_, and then they get _inventive_ and _curious._"

Kakashi shuddered.

But Ibiki wasn't finished talking just yet. "Oh, and if I ever catch you with that book out in front of them again, I'll hang you from the Hokage Monument in the nude. Got it?" he asked the man calmly.

The Jounin gulped. "Got it."

The feared interrogator smiled. He'd worked hard for his reputation and always enjoyed seeing the results of his efforts. It was good to be top dog.

* * *

><p>(May 18)<p>

The group met up, as scheduled, early the next morning in the small forest behind the monument. Asuma was relieved to notice that they all looked alert and wide-awake. They were also armed to the teeth—literally, in his case. It made him feel more at ease, something he hadn't felt since planning this little journey. It hadn't felt right since his brother's death one month ago; it wasn't right for him to be leading the team. It should be Sasuke leading them all, as he had done for years.

Many had considered it unusual to see a team of six shinobi, as they'd said it would be harder to travel unseen that way, but Sasuke had proven them wrong. They were the stealthiest team in the Hidden Leaf under his guidance. Others had assumed there would be too much bickering and an unclear chain of command, but that had never been an issue—never. Part of that was because he'd had a rotation system; the whole group rarely worked together. Ibiki spent half of his time in Interrogation; Satomi spent some of hers at the hospital (not that she was a medic but that she often helped injured shinobi with their physical therapy as a volunteer); the two brothers...actually, Asuma wasn't sure what Akira and Gorou did. No one in the village seemed to know. Every time they got a chance, they all trained together, and Sasuke had always made sure that happened at least once per week. No, there were no group issues; they worked very well together even now that their leader was dead.

And Asuma had taken his brother's place.

He eyed the red-headed twins and their deceptively lithe frames. With their loose, gray shirts and sloppy-looking cargo pants, they looked nothing like shinobi. The tattoos running up Akira's right arm and Gorou's left were hidden by lengths of bandages, giving the appearance of hospital patients. He couldn't even detect any weapons pouches on them, but he knew they had them carefully sealed in those so-called harmless tattoos. Even the bows on their backs passed them off as maybe being hunters at the most, but shinobi they were, and two of the most deadly, at that. Those bows of theirs didn't shoot arrows; they shot _chakra,_ and rumor had it that they had been created by the same person who had made the weapons of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. Akira and Gorou were their mid- to long-range operatives.

Satomi, the lovely dark-haired woman with golden eyes, was in charge of—surprise, surprise—ninjutsu coverage. It was hard for most people to understand that she had large chakra reserves and excellent control and that she _wasn't_ a medic or genjutsu specialist. Not that she couldn't do first-aid (she volunteered at a hospital, after all), but it was not her chosen field and never would be. She specialized in water and earth techniques, although the kunoichi also knew a few fire jutsu that would turn a tree to ash in seconds, and could flood a battlefield with mud at a moment's notice. She was their close- to mid-range operative but sure didn't appear to be; she always dressed in Hyuuga-style robes, though hers were typically a very dark red.

Ibiki Morino was the wild card in many, many ways. First of all, his expertise was actually in genjutsu. Second of all, his long coat hid his impressive pack of muscle that he could enhance with chakra at the drop of a hat. He couldn't quite pull of Tsunade-type stunts, but he was darn close. Third of all, _he_ was their medic. (Supposedly, he even healed the people he interrogated personally.) He didn't _need_ any weapons on hand, really, but he kept a strange-looking, curvy sword on his back on missions, anyway. Asuma had never seen Ibiki use it, though, so he wondered if the man knew how. That made him a close-range operative in...pretty much anything he wanted to be. Although, Asuma had also never seen him use a single elemental technique. But he had to have a few...right?

That just left himself. He, Asuma, was close- to mid-range, just like Satomi. With his special, wind-enhanced knuckle-dusters, he could basically slice through..._everything._ And his other wind jutsu could travel a nice distance while, of course, slicing through _everything_, just like his knives. Then, there was that one technique where he could make an ash cloud explode. Combine that little fire with a little more wind and—BAM!-it friend _and _cut up _everything_! Oh yeah, he was _baaad_. He could do more, too, as their resident taijutsu expert and tactical planner (which Ibiki always helped him with). Sasuke had trained him personally, after all, having been about ten years older and far more experienced.

That thought made his eyes dim slightly. He missed his brother very much. Sasuke and he had always been close, much closer than Asuma had been with any of his other siblings or even their parents, so the blow was especially hard on him. But now, it was time to deal with it and move on...and he knew the best way.

Beat the living daylights out of the moron that had _really pissed them off._

"Let's go," he signaled to his group. They used no words and made no noise; what they were doing was dangerous for more reasons than just this Dragon's strength. If caught, it was likely they would be imprisoned or even outright killed for treason, and while death didn't scare them, they'd rather die with dignity than be publicly disgraced as traitors, thank you very much. So they kept their mouths _shut _and kept to sign language alone.

With that, they leapt into the trees and made for the village wall. It would be no easy feat getting past the guards. At least, it _wouldn't_ have been easy, had Ibiki not been with them. All the two Chuunin guards saw was a small flock of birds flying off to...wherever little birdies went.

But an old man sat in his office and lowered his head into his hands, and he trembled.

* * *

><p>(A little bit of history that you don't need to read...)<p>

At the end of the Third Shinobi War, Iwa stood defeated, along with her ally, Kusa. In effect, the war was over and Konoha had emerged victorious for the third time in a row. The world was, in general, pissed. Suna had been knocked out of the running rather early in the game, thanks to their lack of a Kazekage—which is what had started the entire thing in the first place.

The Sandaime Kazekage had disappeared and, of course, Suna had sent its ninja on missions to find out where the heck he'd gone and which village had taken him. Unfortunately, in the ninja world, territory is key, and every country is territorial. Therefore, the act of crossing numerous borders without permission was not taken lightly, and Iwa was the first to issue a warning. When the Hidden Wind refused to listen (since they'd gotten it into their skulls that Iwa was only warning them away out of guilt), they declared war.

It could have ended there, with Iwa and Suna wiping each other off the map while the rest of the villages ate popcorn and watched, but there is something else about the ninja world that is also not taken lightly: alliances. Even thieves have their honor, and so do ninja. If a nation refuses to stand by its ally when it is in need, then that ally will gladly return the favor...with vengeance. And Konoha did not need any more enemies, so, as Suna's ally, it was forced to enter into war, too. Kumo was in the same boat with Iwa, and Kiri...just kept its mouth shut and stayed out of everyone else's way. (The Mist had its own problems to deal with.)

As it turns out, however, Konoha was not at all reluctant to take on Iwa; it had merely been looking for the excuse. Ever since the Rock Village and Kumo had teamed up to take out Uzushiogakure, the Hokage and his soldiers had been rather...antsy, but they'd needed the daimyo and further political support before they had been able to act. Many in the Hidden Leaf Village blessed the Wind for its generous gift and volunteered themselves and their children for duty.

And so began and, years later, ended the Third Shinobi War with, once again, Konoha on top and the rest of the world thoroughly embarrassed.

But Kumo was being stubborn. The Raikage (Konoha "affectionately" called him Old Bastard, but that's beside the point) was a very prideful, arrogant man and couldn't stand the thought of losing. So, he kept the fight going in little skirmishes here and there as he bided his time and made his forces gear up.

And the Leaf took this time to relax as the ninja convinced themselves it'd end "any day now."

(...to be continued)

* * *

><p>Author's NoteMessage/Rant/Blah blah blah

In case anyone's confused...the Sasuke mentioned in this chapter is NOT the Uchiha. He and the brat share the same first name. That is ALL. They are completely different people. This message is for all those who missed the completely obvious.

This is the first story I've written for this account. I hope it does well, but if it doesn't, I'll survive. Anyway, I edited it pretty well, but my computer's a bit weird with the way it types information, so I probably missed something. If you see anything, let me know. Also, let me know what you think of the story. I appreciate good, honest advice.


	2. Recoil

Previously: Asuma and his team leave to take on a man only known as Dragon for killing his oldest brother, Sasuke. The Hokage has sent Ibiki along in an effort to keep his youngest son and future grandchild alive while he secretly sends another team to hopefully deal with the threat before they get there. Naruto is living with Ibiki at this time and is being watched by Kakashi...who is apparently a terrible babysitter.

"Revenge, at first thought sweet, bitter ere long, back on itself recoils."

-John Milton

Winter in Konoha was never a sure thing; the Land of Fire was usually warm and stable in temperature, but sometimes, a random cold front would sweep right into the heart of their great nation and destabilize everything. Therefore, even now, in the middle of May, the weather was freezing and had been for a week. If it got any worse, Ibiki thought to himself, the trees and plant life would be devastated. Right now, everything was green and freezing cold; ninja could easily deal with that, as it meant they still had plenty of camouflage to hide their movements. But snow would be a problem, something the clouds were threatening to send down at any moment.

That was the least of his worries, however. Ibiki was frustrated. The Hokage had been firm about the schedule he was supposed to follow in order to delay the group, but Asuma wasn't having it.

"_Asuma, we're far enough away. Let's stop here and come up with a decent strategy."_

"_Nah. We'll just talk while we go. Besides, I figure the twins will use their Figure Eight trick, Satomi will swamp 'em out, and you and I will go in for the kill. Simple, really."_

_Somehow, he doubted that._

Ibiki had tried again...

"_Asuma, let's take a break for a moment. We need to check our location and make sure we're still heading towards him."_

"_Hmm? Oh! Nah, it's ok. We're right on track."_

"_How do you know that?"_

"_Innate sense of direction. What? You didn't know? It's why I never get lost."_

"_..." Ibiki was quite certain the young Sarutobi was lying through his teeth._

"_Plus, I know these woods really well. I used to camp out here sometimes with friends."_

"_That's...good to know."_

...and again.

"_Hey, Satomi, you doing ok? You look a little tired."_

"_Huh? No, I'm fine."_

"_You sure? We could take a short break."_

"_No, really, I'm fine."_

There was only one thing left that he could think of, and it was both reckless and stupid. And he was probably going to slap himself silly for it later, but...

CRACK!

...he purposefully broke the branch he'd just landed on and crashed to the ground below.

At least, he _would _have crashed to the ground below, had Akira not caught him and tossed—_tossed!_-him to Gorou, who placed him on a different branch with advice to "watch out for the weaker ones." Ibiki's jaw tightened imperceptibly as he struggled not to slug the man at the subtle insult. But he kept calm and quiet as best as he could and simply tried thinking of a new plan.

_'A genjutsu? No, that wouldn't work. They might not specialize in it, but they also aren't slouches. Still, perhaps if it's subtle enough...' _

"Ibiki, I want you to go ahead and start setting up a genjutsu."

Well, didn't THAT one fall right into his lap.

"Sure, Asuma. No problem." He knew exactly what his team leader was wanting—something that would hide their movements or displace them by a few feet. However, he was skilled enough in the area that he could make it go both ways.

Ibiki formed the signs needed and, suddenly, the group started veering off their course by a single degree to the right. _Then_ he cast the jutsu that made them all appear to be two feet away from where they really were. It made him grin smugly to know none of the group would notice it now. But the smirk left his face as he remembered why it was so important to keep his team away from Dragon.

The day Sasuke had died, they'd all been there and they'd all seen the same thing: a missing-nin or mercenary—they weren't sure which, because he had no headband—with black hair and a tattoo of a dragon covering his face. The team, with Satomi, Ibiki, Asuma, and Sasuke, had been returning to the village after an A-rank assassination mission when they'd spotted the strange-looking man in a small clearing.

He'd looked ordinary enough aside from the tattoo. He dressed like a civilian and had little chakra; overall, there was nothing threatening about his appearance. Most days, they would've thought nothing of it and gone on their way. However, something had made them all stop this time.

And Ibiki would never forget exactly what that had been. Dragon had been in the process of raping a girl who couldn't have been older than twelve. Fury had filled them all, and they'd immediately attacked in an effort to get the girl away.

Sasuke had flickered right next to the man and kicked him in the face. Dragon had gone flying towards a nearby tree and Ibiki had really thought that had ended it. Few people ever got back up after the Hokage's son had smashed their faces in, so this man would surely be down for the count. He and Asuma had walked over to examine the body.

_But something was wrong. Satomi had gone to the young girl when she found, to her horror, "her" turning into water the second she touched "her." The same thing had happened with the man's body; where there had been a person was now a wet smear on a shattered tree. Both had been water clones the whole time, and that could only mean one thing..._

"_It's a trap," the sole female of the group had whispered._

_And it was. The Dragon-faced man sprang up from the ground where his female clone had lain and drew a tanto, swinging it in a circle around himself to get some room. He landed back on the ground and then stared straight at Sasuke with a smirk._

"_Well, well, well! Look what pretty boys I've caught today!" He turned his head slightly so that he could see Satomi. "Ooooh, and what a lovely lady! Don't worry, Love, I'll be gentle," his gravelly voice purred as he addressed her._

_She seethed in rage but kept her mouth shut. Instead, she signed, "Can we please kill this moron now before the sun sets?"_

_Sasuke smirked and signed back, "Ibiki, genjutsu. Asuma, close-range with your knives. Satomi, weaken the dirt under his feet slightly with water." The son of the Hokage drew his own ninjato and his face hardened. "I'm with Asuma."_

_3..._

_Ibiki completed his genjutsu without a single hand sign._

_2..._

_Satomi subtly weakened the ground exactly where Dragon was standing._

_1! _

_Asuma and Sasuke sprang forward and attacked, the former from in front and the latter from behind. It was a teamwork exercise they'd used countless times in order to take down numerous opponents. It should have worked, but it didn't._

_The next thing Ibiki remembered was Asuma flying away from the man and, where there had previously been a single Dragon-faced man, there were now two. _'Is it another clone?'_ Ibiki wondered. It didn't quite look like one, as its hair was slightly lighter than the original's and its tattoo was smaller. Clones almost always looked like their creators, and this one didn't. So, if it wasn't a clone, what was it?_

_Either way, it was no longer four against one. It was four against two, and their opponent was crafty. Sasuke seemed to be the only one who had any clue what was going on._

"_I see," he said. "You're from _that_ clan. Strange...I thought they'd all been wiped out." He sounded amused, but his subtle change in stance said that he was alarmed and wary._

"_Not all," the first man replied with a dark grin. "And we've improved quite a bit, thanks to a new friend of ours..." _

"_...and you and your little team don't stand a chance," the other figure finished._

_At that, both enemies (which was the real one?) started chuckling as a dark flame seemed to spread across their skins. Sasuke's eyes widened before he turned to his team and started yelling at them to leave, to"Get out of here!" _

_After that, Ibiki's sight grew blurry as his leader formed hand signs that would transport the three of them out of the area...and would leave himself behind. Asuma noticed and started yelling at him to "don't do it!" But their leader didn't listen, and the world began to fade. But Ibiki caught one last scene that would haunt him to his dying day: One of the enemies, moving at speeds far faster than his eye could see, had grabbed Sasuke's shoulder, and the Hokage's oldest son started screaming as Dragon's hand sank into his flesh as though he were moving through water._

_With that, the world around them faded as they found themselves several miles from the site of the battle, but even there, they could feel it as Sasuke's chakra signature wavered before fading out._

"_NOOOO!"_

Ibiki couldn't remember who had screamed at the end, but he didn't need to; they'd all been thinking it, especially when they'd arrived back at the site, only to see a mutilated body on the ground and the enemy nowhere to be found. He'd never seen Asuma look so defeated or Satomi look so devastated. The twins, when they'd been informed, and simply walked away and refused to speak to anyone for days. And he himself had immediately gone into the Hokage's personal library to do a little research on their attacker.

He'd come up with a few theories and second-hand rumors, at best. One scroll had hinted at a new type of clone that could withstand monstrous abuse, but that had turned out to be a rather ancient thing referring to the then-unknown rock clone. The interrogator had tossed that aside rather quickly. Another one had mentioned a very specialized genjutsu. However, that was _his_ area of expertise; no way was some wacko pulling the wool over his eyes with that type of technique. The only one that had held any promise had spoken of a very rare kinjutsu used solely by one clan from the Mist Village. Supposedly, it allowed its user to fuse with another's body. That Ibiki could believe. It did explain what he had seen, but it _didn't_ explain the strange clone-like creature that had popped up out of nowhere. Nor did that particular kinjutsu have any information regarding the black fire that had spread across Dragon's body. The bald man was confused, and nothing seemed to hold the answers he was searching for.

And now, here they were, trying to face that mysterious monster for a little thing known as revenge. "Justice," Asuma had called it. But justice worked _with_ the law. Revenge worked either without it or against it. How dare that boy shade the truth with his arrogance! Even worse, how dare he think his father would do nothing! The fool had overestimated himself and was now putting all their lives at risk. Idiot! Before her death, Ibiki's mother had always said, "There is no justice in revenge, but there is honor in justice, and without honor, we become less than human. My son, whatever you do in life, never let yourself lose your humanity."

His mother had never lied to him; she had always spoken the truth and spoken it well. And now, here he was, being forced to deal with the results of four people's stupidity and lack of wisdom. At least he was finally distracting them, however! The Hokage's youngest could be such a pain.

Just as he stepped onto another branch as he followed the group's new fearless leader, his senses began screaming at him. Not one to question such things, he quickly leaped high into the air and tossed a kunai at a tree several yards away before wrapping the wire connected to it around his glove-covered hand and jumping. It had all taken no more than half a second, and he noticed that his comrades had taken similar measures.

It was lucky they had, as the area they'd just vacated blew up into a massive fireball. If it hadn't been for the subtle genjutsu, they most likely would all have been killed. As it was, the attack had been just a hair off, giving them enough warning to leap out of the way.

_'Shi—where is he? I can't even sense his presence!'_ Dragon had to be nearby, but where? His eyes quickly and furiously scanned right, left, above, below, and any other direction available to him. Where would he strike first? What would cause the most damage? Ibiki's eyes widened. Asuma! He'd be going after Asuma!

"Asuma, move!" he screamed, and just in time, too, as another fireball had been barreling in his direction. Where was it coming from? He noticed the leaves in the tree to the youngest Sarutobi's left shake ever so slightly. _'There!'_ He quickly transformed himself into his leader's double and switched places with but a flick of a hand. Ibiki only had to wait for a single second before Dragon, who had clearly not seen the switch, broke cover and lunged at the disguised interrogator.

"YOU!" Dragon screamed. "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"

But he never stood a chance. Instead of hitting his target, the man fell to the ground with a shocked expression on his face while Gorou and Akira had their bows pulled back in case the attacker was still breathing. Ibiki took a quick look to see.

He wasn't dead, but the blood didn't bode well for him, unless it was another clone. But no, the blood was red, not clear like water would have been. It really was him, the big, scary Dragon...and then, black fire spread across his skin, the injury seemed to close enough to stop bleeding, and the wounded man stood back up. He was enraged and let loose a roar that made the hair on Ibiki's head stand straight up...and he was bald!

The scarred (and very much bald) interrogator signaled the rest of the team. They couldn't just stand there with their mouths open! They turned their heads towards him.

"Akira, Gorou, formation number three."

In less than a split second, they'd moved into position.

"Satomi, defense pattern number seventeen."

She nodded and leaped from the tree before placing her hand on the ground and scrunching her face in concentration.

"Asuma, attack pattern one."

Asuma's eyes widened, but he flickered over to Ibiki to stand beside him.

The whole time (only a second or two, really), Dragon just watched with furious eyes that were completely black. It was downright creepy. However, if that scroll regarding body fusing had been correct, they merely needed to avoid being touched. Then again, _that_ depended on being faster than their adversary, and Ibiki wasn't certain they were. Still, they had to try. And where was the other one—the clone...thing?

That's when he noticed it: this was not the same guy they had faced originally. Or, rather, it _was_ the clone-thingy, as its tattoo was a bit smaller than its creator's and had dark brown hair rather than black. So...was the other one the clone? Ibiki was confused.

"Hey!" he called out to...it.

It turned black eyes towards him and the bald Special Jounin had to struggle to not shudder.

"Where's your boyfriend?"

The thingy's eyes widened for a brief moment before, oddly enough, the world around him seemed to get a little...blurry. Quickly, he countered the deadly aura with his own rage-infused chakra and the world came back into focus. _'Whoa...that's one heck of a powerful killing intent. Hehe...I think I struck a nerve...'_

"You bastard..." it muttered, "that was my BROTHER!" And, with that, the male-thing attacked.

And he was fast, very, very fast. In less time than it took to blink, Ibiki found the humanoid in his face and barely a centimeter from touching him.

_'No!'_ He couldn't allow any physical contact, if what he'd read about that forbidden technique was true. Hurriedly, he called up medical chakra in his hand and smashed it into the monster's face as he made darn sure to keep from actually touching it. The enemy went down screaming for a brief moment before going silent in death, thanks to a quick chakra scalpel. The odd, black flames on his body disappeared, and Ibiki was both relieved and worried. _'There's no way that could've been it...'_

It had been far too easy. Something was desperately wrong, but what?

A tiny burst of chakra next to Gorou alerted him, but before he could speak a word, disaster struck.

It was another trap; the whole thing had been an ambush.

* * *

><p>"'Kas'i!" a high-pitched (and surprisingly loud) voice called out.<p>

Kakashi got up from the rocking chair—which he found to be ridiculously comfortable- and looked at the small blonde tugging on his pants. There were a few flecks of something orange on the child's cheek, and the infamous Jounin remembered _yesterday's events_ with some alarm. Quickly, he raised a hand to his hair and sighed in relief when he felt no foreign substances there.

The boy tugged again. "'Kas'i!" he insisted.

"What?" the only adult present blinked. He'd really like to get back to his book, now that he knew his hair was safe.

"Ikki! Ikki! Sommin's w'on wif Ikki!"

Kakashi blinked again...and then a few more times as he struggled to translate the toddler's garbles. He finally came up with, "Something's wrong with Ibiki." Naruto rarely spoke in front of strangers or guests, so it was actually somewhat shocking that the very young child would address him at all, and the man had to wonder why.

"Oh? What's wrong with him? Has he been sick?" What had the kid noticed that he himself had missed?

"Shich?" His adorable face scrunched up in confusion.

"Sick," the Jounin repeated. Obviously, the boy didn't understand the concept just yet, so he'd break it down for him. "Does he sniffle a lot?"

Naruto shook his head no.

"Does his tummy hurt him any?"

Once again, the answer was a negative.

"Does it ever look like his head hurts him?"

This time, he got a nod in response. "Yup! Suh time 'e come 'ome fro' wo'k."

Kakashi immediately translated that to: "Sometimes when he comes home from work." He almost wanted to slap himself; of course he'd get a headache from his job! That wasn't sick (sanity was another issue entirely and therefore irrelevant).

"Bu' tha' ain' it!" the tyke insisted rather loudly.

"Then, what is it?"

"Ikki been stapped!"

Kakashi began blinking again. _"What?"_

* * *

><p>Hiruzen Sarutobi sat at his desk with his head in his hands. Moments ago, he'd just gotten a report on the battle his son—his youngest, only remaining son—should not have been at. As he'd suspected from the beginning, all of it had been nothing more than a trap to lure out his family and kill them.<p>

It wasn't exactly surprising. A Kage of any village always had many enemies, after all, and the family of a Kage was often even more at risk than said leader. It was the main reason the Fourth had been so careful with his own wife. Not that he'd hidden their relationship, exactly, but that he had placed such a protection detail on her that she'd made him sleep on the couch for a month. Still, the Third was very grateful that only a few _had_ known. It had made it much easier to hide their child.

However, things were very different with Hiruzen's own family. His children—all three of them—were...or had been...well-known from the beginning. All of them had been born and practically raised in war and had shot through the ninja ranks as though they'd been tearing through tissue. It was impossible to miss the family resemblance in both looks _and_ strength, and it was also very fortunate that their father, the Third, had been around to keep them safe for a time.

The Kyuubi attack had stripped that safety away, though. His middle child, Enoki, had been one of the ANBU guarding the then-jinchurriki as she'd given birth to her son; he had been the first casualty and his wife had soon followed. Things in their now smaller family had never even come close to being the same. He'd been all but destroyed by grief and his relationship with Asuma had suffered. Sasuke had done his best to fix the damage, but it hadn't worked and they'd simply pulled further and further apart.

It had taken his eldest son's death and the outright disobedience of the youngest for the Hokage to see it, and never had he regretted his lack of insight more. Now, he could lose not only his one remaining child but also his unborn grandchild.

And what could he do—declare them all traitors and have them thrown out of the village or executed? How would that help matters? They'd still all end up dead and he'd still feel miserable. But he had to do something. As the leader, Asuma would have to be officially reprimanded and punished. The others, he supposed, could deal with simple demotions, fines, community service, and whatever else he could think of. Ibiki wouldn't be punished at all, since he was just following orders...unlike everyone else on that dratted team.

But what about Asuma?

"Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi flinched. He hadn't even sensed the ninja, due to the amount of stress. "Yes?" he replied in a tightly-controlled voice.

The ANBU, who wore a leopard mask, knelt on the floor. "Sir, a report from the battle," he said as he held out a red scroll.

Hiruzen sighed, stood up, and took the scroll. "Thank you, Leopard. You are dismissed."

Leopard saluted and vanished in a Body Flicker while he busied himself with getting past the security seals in order to open the darn thing. Quickly, he scanned the contents to get to the list of casualties and exhaled in relief when he didn't see his son's name there. Satomi's name, however, was, and that fact made him pale. That didn't mean she was dead, of course, but she was definitely injured. The Hokage didn't even bother touching the rest of the report at that moment, as he could sense the first of his soldiers returning through the front gates. Instead, he stood up without even a pop of his joints (hey, he was old, sure, but he was still the strongest in the village for a reason) and Flickered out into the cold to meet his wayward son and whatever remained of his team.

It didn't take them long to show. As medics rushed out to tend to the wounded brought before them, Asuma, looking thoroughly exhausted, lifted up his head, looked at his father, and smiled. Hiruzen did not smile back; this foolish son of his had no idea what he had done. Instead, the Hokage refused to look at him at all. He was angry—no, furious, and he truly didn't wish to cause more harm to their already-strained relationship by saying something thoughtless.

Asuma's smile fell right off his face, and anger replaced it. He walked past his father without a word or another glance in his direction.

Doing his best to ignore the stabbing pain in his heart, the Hokage turned to the injured in hopes that Satomi was there and wouldn't be hurt too badly. But not matter how desperately he looked for her, she wasn't there. A deep terror took root in his heart.

Then, suddenly...

"MEDIC! I NEED A MEDIC! SHE'S STILL BREATHING!" With that, a lion-masked ANBU agent rushed towards them with a dark-haired woman in his arms. Blood dripped from her mouth and from a hole in her right lung.

"Dear God," he muttered in shock. He knew perfectly well whom the woman was, and if she and the baby died...he didn't know what he'd do.

A medic hurried over and green, healing chakra began pouring out of his hands as he examined her injuries. Sarutobi looked on in hope only to fall to his knees as the doctor closed his eyes and shook his head in sadness. She was still alive, but...there was nothing he could do to save her.

Then, his eyes snapped back open and he gasped. His hands moved the chakra to her abdomen immediately and he yelled to another medic instructions that the Hokage couldn't make out, due to the ringing in his ears. No one was looking at him and all he could do was stare at what would have been his daughter-in-law as she died with his grandchild right in front of him.

_Dear God...please, no..._

A few other medics gathered around and focused their chakra on Satomi's abdomen, as well, before one—a woman he should have recognized—said, "Let me do it."

"Rin, are you nuts! Even if it takes, the risks to your own health-"

"I said I will do it. We don't have enough time to find another host, so it'll have to be me."

"...But, Rin..."

"Enough! Begin the procedure."

None of it registered in the Third's mind. Nothing mattered to him except that she and the child weren't going to...to...

The woman known as Rin laid herself down on the ground as the other medics gently did the same for Satomi. There wasn't even enough time to relocate to an operating room. Once both women were lying flat, one medic knelt beside Rin, formed chakra scalpels, and cut her open while she used her own medical chakra to numb the area and keep herself alive. To her right, three other doctors were doing approximately the same thing to Satomi.

She nodded at the man helping her and the minty-green of his technique intensified until it was the color of the forest. Then, and only then, Rin began screaming. No amount of numbing could work for this procedure; the doctor was reforming her uterus. Thirty seconds of absolute agony later, the medics working on Satomi stood up with a small pile of what looked to be blood and intestines and hurried over to Rin.

It only took a few minutes after that to seal the tiny life-form into its pseudo-parent, but it took half an hour to connect the placenta to the wall of Rin's womb and get the umbilical cord to where it needed to be, all while keeping the baby alive at the same time. It was a draining, exhausting process for all of them, but they were a team and were dedicated to the survival of their patients above all else. They would not fail this tiny life now depending on them.

Finally, after what could've been a century for all they knew, all the medics fell back in exhaustion. They were spent—utterly, completely spent. All other injured had been taken care of _before_ the young woman had been brought to them, and then they'd had to engage in a very complex operation/transplant. The doctors all exchanged looks with themselves; a vacation and a nice, hefty bonuses had better be waiting for them after this...

At that moment, each person remembered the Hokage just ten feet away and looked at him.

His eyes were shining and his cheeks were clearly wet with tears. The lion-masked ANBU was standing behind him with his hand on the older man's shoulder.

"Hokage-sama...?" one person asked warily.

But the Hokage just closed his eyes and said, "Thank you" before he stood and walked back into the village. No one would ever know just how close he'd come to breaking that night; he was still devastated at the loss of his daughter-in-law, but at least her child had been saved.

He looked behind him one last time and sent a silent message to the cooling, bloody corpse. _I'm sorry I couldn't save you, my daughter, but I will protect your child with my last breath._ With that, he turned to the ANBU two steps behind him to his left. "Lion."

"Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"Gather your team and meet me in the office. I have a new assignment for you."

"Yes, Hokage-sama." And with that, the masked man was gone.

* * *

><p>Asuma was furious. How dare the old man treat him like that! Ok, sure, he'd disobeyed his instructions, but still! It had been for Sasuke! Shouldn't that <em>mean<em> something? Yes, some people had been hurt, but they'd known the risks and chosen to help take down Dragon, anyway! Besides, they'd all be fine. He knew his team; they'd pull through.

Last time he'd seen them, the twins had been taking apart a small group of four enemies with a tag-team strategy that had served them well in many previous battles. Satomi had been chasing a kunoichi deeper into the trees, which was fine; she could handle herself. And Ibiki had just taken a kunai in the arm—barely a scratch for the scarred interrogator who'd been through ten times worse—right before he'd taken the attacker's head. Everyone was fine! What was the old man's problem?

As things were going, Asuma didn't think he could take much more. The relationship between his father and himself had never been good or strong; at best, it was the two of them tolerating each other being in the same room. His brother had always been the tenuous bridge between them, and that bridge had died with Sasuke. Now, Asuma was at a loss. He honestly didn't have the motivation to salvage anything out of their relationship, but what could he do? The Hokage wasn't exactly easy to get away from, especially for a Jounin. How else would he get his missions, after all? As long as he stayed in the village, they'd have contact.

However...maybe he didn't have to stay in the village at all. It wasn't like he was really all that attached to the place; leaving would be a relief, and with that offer from the daimyo, he had a legitimate excuse to walk away. His father wouldn't even be able to stop him or have any say in it whatsoever.

Asuma smirked. The old man wouldn't be winning this or any other round again.

* * *

><p>...and so ends chapter two. I admit, there's not a ton of action in it, and the simple reason for that is this: I'm pretty, er, <em>not<em> good at action scenes. Still, I did the best I could, under the circumstances (my incompetence) and hope the results are satisfactory.

Information regarding the story:

Dragon is not the guy's real name, obviously. It's a nickname and nothing more. Oh, and if anyone remembers the Sound Four...yes, he/they are related to the one(s) Kiba fought. More will be explained later.

If anyone guessed the baby is Konohamaru, congratulations; you are correct. I personally always found it interesting that, in canon, Asuma left about the same time his nephew was born. Coincidence? I say no.

Naruto hasn't had much part in this so far, but he will, believe me. If his strange premonition freaked you out a bit, just imagine what it will do to Kakashi! Oh, and I'll let you in on a little secret: Naruto is not what he seems, and not just because of his weird statements to Kakashi.

On a personal note, my email account was hacked into recently (not this one). I have reason to believe that a message of mine either on this site or another was intercepted, which led to someone else getting to my email. As it was directly connected to the account I have here, I am taking pains to be very careful with this site (and many others) from now on. I managed to wrangle the one account back, so that's not a problem. The issue is the fact that he/she got who knows what kind of personal information on me, so, for the next few months, I won't be doing anything but posting chapters. Sorry for anyone looking for conversation, but it's not going to happen for awhile.


	3. Dusk

"Before I built a wall I'd ask to know

What I was walling in or walling out,

And to whom I was like to give offence.

Something there is that doesn't love a wall,

That wants it down..."

-Robert Frost, from his poem _Mending Wall_

_._

_._

_.  
><em>

Kakashi stared at the little child urgently tugging him to the door.

"Ikki stapped! Ikki stapped!" Naruto was repeating over and over.

Even as his mind translated that as _"Ibiki has been __**stabbed**_," he glanced over at the still-sleeping Idate on the couch and wondered how the older boy hadn't woken up with all the noise Naruto was making. It made him wish Kushina's genes hadn't featured so predominately in her offspring; he was being extremely loud now that he was actually talking—such a rare feature that it made the Jounin blink rapidly.

But the fact that he'd just been napping quietly moments before this grand speech and the kid's words themselves confused his patient babysitter. Where would the little boy have gotten such an idea? What made him think his guardian was injured? It wasn't as if the child _knew_ Ibiki was on a very dangerous mission...right?

"Uh..." Kakashi thought for a moment before trying to reassure the hyperactive blonde that his father-figure wasn't in any danger. "No, I'm sure he's fine. When he comes back, you'll see for yourself that..."

But the blonde just pouted, crossed his arms, and walked away.

_In one ear and out the other. Yup, that's just like Kushina, alright._

As he watched the boy walk towards the sleeping Idate, Kakashi analyzed the tiny person. Naruto and his current guard didn't know each other very well yet, mostly because the young man had been busy with ANBU missions ever since the day of the Kyuubi attack. He'd really only started watching the two children a few weeks ago, but what he'd learned so far had shaken him to the core.

Even at such an unbelievably young age, Naruto didn't trust easily. All overtures of friendship had been pointedly ignored and even backed away from, even though he was rather lively and friendly towards the younger Morino brother. In fact, from what Ibiki had said, the only ones Naruto had problems with were adults and that it had taken quite an effort on his own part to get the boy to trust him. He'd only gone into Ibiki's custody a few months ago; _what had happened to him before then?_ The Hokage's looks of extreme guilt didn't do anything to ease his mind, either.

No matter how many times he had demanded an answer of the Hokage, no matter how many hours he'd given to his private investigation, he still found nothing. So...either there was no one willing to talk or the only possible witnesses had been _forcibly_ silenced.

Whatever had happened, it warranted around-the-clock protection from ANBU itself. There was at least one agent hiding in the woods at all times, and even though Kakashi wasn't in uniform, he was still ANBU himself and assigned to watch the children in the house whenever Ibiki was out. The Hokage wasn't taking any chances and had only chosen the most trustworthy for this task: Kakashi, who would never harm his sensei's only son, and the strange kid named Tenzou, whom the Sharingan user had been training for the last year.

Whatever had been done to him—by both society _and_ the Hokage—was serious.

But his suspicions had to wait, because Idate suddenly let out a very loud howl as Naruto stuck a wet finger in the older boy's ear and twisted it around. To Kakashi's extreme annoyance, Idate began crying and screaming just before hitting Naruto, who then started crying and screaming himself.

"'choo 'it me!"

"Is you faul'! Why you _lick_ me!"

"'cause 'choo snore!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Ya-huh!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Ya-huh!"

Naptime was clearly over.

Kakashi sighed, dragged out his book—which was _not_ Icha Icha, for once—and opened it to the first page. _"Hmmm...peanut butter marbled brownies? Oooh! Let's see...preheat oven to 350 degrees..."_

"Oh, boys!"

They both stopped and looked at him with tears and snot still running down their faces.

"How would you two like to help me make brownies?"

Immediately, Naruto and Idate were grinning, their argument (and fears) forgotten and both were running towards the kitchen to jump and chant. "Brownies! Brownies!"

Kakashi smiled. He couldn't wait 'til Ibiki got home. He was going to leave the man's kitchen an absolute mess.

* * *

><p><em>5:00 p.m.<em>

Ibiki was _not _having a good day. It was the first time he'd failed a mission given to him by the Hokage, he had a new scar to add to the already-overwhelming number, and he'd lost a teammate. All of it had happened in one day.

The only truly good news to come out of it was the fact that the baby had survived, thanks to a technique perfected by the legendary medic, Tsunade, herself. Now, it was possible to actually transplant an unborn child into another woman's womb. Although it was by no means easy and required a whole team of medics, it had proven necessary more than once in the event of the biological mother's death. The only downside was the risk involved; the strain it put on the host mother's body could be extreme, depending on how far along the baby had developed and the general health of everyone involved. If the medics tending to Rin weren't very careful, she could easily die and the child with her.

For that risk alone, Kakashi would kill him when he found out, and Rin herself would probably be in for quite the tongue-lashing. But Ibiki? Yeah, he'd be dead for failing the mission. But how was he supposed to have known the whole thing would be a set-up? He'd thought he was leading them _away_ from Dragon, not _towards_ him! That...humanoid thing had been nothing more than a distraction.

Oh, like the temperamental Jounin was going to care...he was still going to die. "_That egotistical little..."_ Ibiki continued grumbling oaths and curses to himself as the nurse stitched up his arm.

"There, Morino-san! All better!" the nurse, a petite brunette cooed at him in a chipper, _grating _tone.

He lifted his eyes toward hers and glared. "Are you going to give me a lollipop, too? Or are you through treating me like a three-year-old?"

She gulped. "E-er..."

Ibiki mentally slapped himself. The poor nurse hadn't meant anything by it; he was just irritable and he knew it. _"Great, another potential date down the drain. Good job, Morino. This is _exactly_ why you're still a virgin! Gonna have to rely on Idate for grandkids, Mom."_ Rather than embarrass himself and scare her further, he merely apologized gruffly and left. He did, after all, need to get back home to check on Naruto and Idate, regardless of his impending demise.

But even as he walked away, Ibiki found a reason to smirk. That nurse was checking him out. The interrogation specialist turned his head around and winked.

She blushed beet red.

Maybe there was hope for a family of his own, after all.

IF he lived.

At that thought, Ibiki suppressed a groan as he headed home. The outside air chilled him almost instantly, and he bit back another groan. "Why does our country have to be so weird? Other people have winter _during_ winter. We get all their leftovers when they're finished with 'em...jerks."

He passed through the town, walking by villagers as they gossiped, bartered, and ate. Families headed home, children hanging from their joined hands, and shopkeepers began closing up even as customers made their final purchases. It was getting colder, after all; when it was warm, stores and stalls often stayed open all night. Some people, he noticed, were whispering amongst themselves that it would probably start snowing soon. He believed it; the clouds were especially gray and heavy-looking and the bite in the air was intense. Ibiki hoped he'd get home in time.

He really, really hated the winter and had no interest in dragging bits of it into his house. Who knew _what_ destruction Naruto and Idate would wreak with puddles of snow?

...which reminded him: what kind of shape would he find the house in after being gone all day long? He groaned out loud. Kakashi was absolutely no help in the keep-the-place-in-order department. In fact, in Ibiki's opinion, the legendary Copy-nin was in serious need of a psychological evaluation. Anyone _that _disorganized needed a check-up. The interrogator smirked to himself; perhaps something could be arranged.

As he wound through the crowd, however, a few flakes began falling all around him. He noticed one family in particular—a man with long, blonde hair carried a child on his back while a woman with a similar appearance held his hand as they traveled home. He recognized his former teacher and his wife and daughter immediately but didn't stop or give them a second glance. They'd had a...falling-out of sorts some time ago. Still, as he and the Yamanakas passed each other, an image seemed to cover them, and the blondes' hair shortened as the girl disappeared entirely. Instead, a teenage boy with a hat-covered, bald head walked in between them and smiled as all three participated in a long-forgotten conversation.

But he blinked and, a moment later, the image was gone, as was his former friend. Neither Ibiki nor Inoichi had paused or flinched in the least. Still, the special Jounin wondered if another image had overtaken his form in a similar manner; he wondered if his old teacher had seen the boy he'd once been—the confused, frightened child he'd taken in and trained after the Mission from Hell—and regretted it as much as he did.

And they both continued home unimpeded, one to his family and the other with his family. Ibiki couldn't decide, even as he left the civilian traffic and approached his house, which he thought to be more lonely.

"_Well, at least it's still standing,"_ he mused as he arrived at his home in the woods. He spotted the ANBU agent outside as the man nodded, letting the scarred man know it was safe to enter. It gave him a moment of hope that, for once, perhaps the inside _hadn't_ been destroyed again...for the fourth consecutive time.

Gingerly, Ibiki opened the door, stepped through, and tensed, expecting someone or something to jump out and bite him. It was...clean. The paint and crayon markings were still everywhere, but other than that, no damage had been done. And what was that wonderful smell coming from the kitchen?

"Kakashi? You alive?"

A masked head poked out from behind the wall that separated the kitchen from the rest of the house. "Ibiki? You're back?"

Ibiki frowned as he closed the door. "No, this is a figment of your imagination. An enemy infiltrated half an hour ago and cast a genjutsu over you, creating the illusion that I'm here when, in reality-"

"Ok, ok, I get it. Geez...I was just surprised, that's all. Thought you'd lead them on a wild goose chase 'til tomorrow. There's no need to get snippy..." The Copy-nin trailed off, noticing the bandage wrapped around Ibiki's arm. "Ibiki, what happened?"

Unable to keep the facade up any longer, his head lowered as he sank to the floor, hands shaking. "Naruto and Idate—are they safe?" He noticed his voice shaking, as well.

Kakashi quickly moved over and sat down next to him, and Ibiki had to hold back hysterical laughter when he saw that the teenager had a frilly apron on and chocolate stains all over it. "They're safe and playing with their toys in their room. Tell me what happened."

"The mission failed. I couldn't...she died, Kakashi. Satomi's gone."

The ANBU tensed. "And...everyone else?"

"Fine. Everyone else is fine, even her baby. Did a host transplant," he muttered indistinctly. "But Satomi—he was just too stubborn! He wouldn't listen to me! And even when I was finally leading, we walked right into it."

"Right into what?"

"It was a trap, all of it, and Dragon—or what was left of him—was nothing more than a distraction while the main group picked us off one by one. We'd all have been dead if the ANBU squad hadn't shown up."

"W-what? I don't understand-"

Ibiki let out a short, bitter bark of a laugh. "Neither do I. The clan was _extinct_, and yet the last living member just _happens_ to show up before he kills the Hokage's oldest son and then goes after the youngest? Someone's pulling strings and I don't like it."

Kakashi looked confused. "I don't understand. What happened? What clan are you talking about?"

He just shrugged. "Clan never really had a name that I know of, but it was supposedly wiped out decades ago. The members had a special ability—not a bloodline, mind you, but a forbidden jutsu. At birth, twins are taken and have _something_ done to them that combines the two into a single body."

"You can't be serious!" Kakashi all but exploded with wide, horrified eyes. "The risks to the babies would be-"

"Very high, yes, I know. That's one of the reasons why the clan is..._was_ thought to be extinct. The infant mortality rate was through the roof, even with twins being very common, thanks to some obscure medical technique." He rubbed the back of his head in frustration. "I refused to believe it until after Sandaime-sama confirmed Dragon had probably been the last living member."

"Why? Didn't that make the most sense?"

"Not to me. You have to understand that the descriptions I'd read were very sparse. All it really mentioned was some parasitic jutsu that let them take over their enemies' bodies and it said nothing about some strange, black fire. Everything else I told you came straight from the Hokage. I guess that means Sasuke knew about it, too. He went through a lot of effort to get us out of there..."

"And that's what I don't understand. You were the most powerful team in the village; if you had stayed together, you probably would've beaten him, er, them."

But Ibiki just shook his head; he'd thought so, too, in the beginning. "No, not likely. Like I said, the whole thing was a set-up, and I meant that from start to finish. Whoever is behind this was after the Sarutobi family _specifically._ And when the first ambush attempt didn't work, he or she simply set up another one." He sighed. "That's all Dragon _ever_ was—a distraction. Maybe he _was_ powerful before the Hokage's son got ahold of him, but we could've beaten him, no problem. It was his backup that would've killed us. Sasuke must have sensed them."

Kakashi lowered his head for a moment and closed his eyes. "Then, the targets were always Sasuke, Asuma, and maybe Satomi because of the child."

"Exactly."

"This whole thing was planned from the very beginning."

"Most likely."

"And we have a traitor in our midst, since only a handful of people knew about Satomi and Sasuke's relationship and even fewer knew where they were on their mission."

Ibiki sighed again. He hated traitors even more than he hated the melted snow seeping into his clothing and numbing his posterior. "Yes, which means I've got a lot of work to do." He began standing up.

"Wait."

He stilled in an awkward, half-crouched position.

"You said that Satomi died and then something about the baby living."

Ibiki answered with a cautious "yes."

"Who...?"

With that, the interrogator stood all the way up and leaned against the door. He knew exactly what Kakashi was asking. "I wasn't there at the time, but a young medic volunteered to be the host. They...tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted, and they performed the procedure right there, just before Satomi took her last breath."

Kakashi's eye narrowed. "Who?" he demanded as he, too, stood. It was a well-known fact that the legendary Copy-nin had a few friends among the medics, thanks to Rin. And it was also well-known that the Copy-nin was rather...insistent on keeping his friends safe.

"The baby was only a couple of months along, so the risk to her health is comparatively small, but-"

"_Who_, Ibiki?"

"-they're still taking every precaution and watching her like a hawk, so she's in good hands and should be fine-"

Kakashi grabbed Ibiki's shoulders and shook him roughly. "WHO IS IT, IBIKI!"

His voice was quiet as he answered one of the very few friends he trusted fully. "...Rin, Kakashi. It was Rin."

Abruptly, the ANBU's hands dropped to his sides, almost as if he'd been a puppet whose strings had just been cut. "No...no...not Rin..."

Ibiki wondered if he should be leaving now before Kakashi got his brains working again and attacked. But he couldn't just abandon a friend like that! His father, while drunk and abusive, had also been known for his excellent advice: _"My son, a friend you can count on is worth more than any price you name. If you ever look in the mirror and find yourself unworthy of such a comrade, then it's time to get out of the ninja business. Another can always take your place, and it's not worth losing your soul over."_ So, Ibiki stayed where he was and warily put a hand on his friend's shoulder. And, just as he'd predicted...

"...none of this would've happened if you'd just done your job."

He sighed. "If I'd been able to do my job, Satomi most likely never would've gotten killed, yes, but this was entirely Rin's choice, and you know it. No one could've stopped her, including you."

"That's not true," Kakashi whispered. He knew the risks of that jutsu, having seen it done firsthand, and he was worried.

"Yes, it is. You know how stubborn she is better than anyone. _No one_," he stressed, "could've stopped her. She took an oath to help all those in need as best as she can. Would you really want her to break that promise?"

Th ANBU shuddered. "No." Then, his eyes met Ibiki's. "No, I wouldn't." And then, Kakashi actually looked at his friend's injury. "Hey, Ibiki?"

"...yeah?"

"Tell me you didn't get injured."

"Er, I obviously did."

"...and the type of injury...? Kakashi almost sounded hopeful, except for that tinge of dread.

"Stab wound. Enemy got me with his kunai...and...um, Kakashi?"

A distinctly tired and strained voice answered him. "Yo?"

Ibiki raised an eyebrow. "Why do you look like someone kicked you in the gonads and ran off laughing about it?"

Rather than answer him or take the bait, the Copy-nin, in the same tone of voice, asked, "Are you sure it was a _stab_ and not, say, a _slash_? Or how about just a _cut_? Maybe a _nick_?"

He blinked in confusion. "Uh, no, I specifically remember the tip going into my skin in a downward motion before being yanked back out the opposite direction. It was definitely a stab." Ibiki had a thought. "Do you need your mental evaluation a little early this year or is there a point to all this?" Regardless of the answer, he would get said mental evaluation, but something in the scarred man liked giving the illusion of hope.

Kakashi's hands came up and covered his face. "That might not be such a bad idea, but wait 'til after I tell you, 'k?"

"...suuuure."

He removed his hands and began his tale. "This afternoon, I'd say around 2:30, Naruto comes over and starts ranting about you being hurt. I figured he was saying you weren't feeling well or something. It's likely he wouldn't understand the difference, after all, since he can't even get sick, but I was wrong. Next thing I know, he tells me you've been stabbed."

Ibiki went cold.

"Well, actually," Kakashi continued on, "he said 'stapped,' but it was pretty clear what the little guy was saying—Ibiki, are you ok?"

Feeling somewhat faint, he nodded in reply. Then, he shook his head and went over to the couch to sit down, wet clothes and all. "And here I'd thought it was just me..."

"What do you mean?" Kakashi moved to sit in the chair next to him.

"It's...well, he just...he just _knows_ stuff, is all. Before I took him in, the people at the orphanage told me that he always seemed be aware of what was going on around him. I'm not sure if you've noticed it yet, but Naruto always knows where that ANBU agent outside is at, and he knows before _I_ do when you're approaching this house."

Kakashi's one visible eye widened considerably. "You mean, he's-"

"Exactly. He's the finest, natural-born sensor I've ever come across. I haven't said anything to anyone yet and I won't, for obvious reasons, but it's like prolonged contact with people makes him hyper-aware of them at all times. He probably sensed the injury once I'd gotten once I was within a couple of miles of Konoha."

Kakashi whistled. "Impressive!"

"Very," Ibiki agreed. "Not even the Hokage is aware of this, and I think it'd be best if it stays just between us."

"I can understand not telling the general populace, but not even Sarutobi-sama? Why?"

Ibiki sighed. "Because...when I took Naruto in, it was with the understanding that..." He drifted off, not wanting to say the rest. It was like he'd made a deal with the devil, a feeling the Hokage shared for slightly different reasons. "It was with the understanding that I would be training him."

"Training? Training him in what?"

Desperately, he turned towards his friend, willing him to understand. "You have to understand something; those people at the orphanage were trying to give him to Danzo and there was nowhere else he could go. Rin was too busy with the hospital and other unnamed duties while you were on that mission, and no one knew if you'd be back, much less _when_. Kakashi, _there wasn't anywhere else he could go._ I didn't have a choice. Neither one of us did."

Kakashi looked like he was about to freak out, but he did keep his mouth shut.

"Kakashi...it was either this or Danzo."

"What...what are you talking about?"

"As soon as the Hokage learns that he has this kind of talent—which means that he's already accessed his chakra, by the way—Naruto will immediately be placed in a training program for ANBU."

The Copy-nin's jaw dropped. "Y-you're turning him into a weapon!"

Ibiki held his hands up. "Only on paper! The way I see it, it'll just be him starting his ninja training early. And if we can keep this under wraps for a little while longer, maybe we can even give him some semblance of a childhood."

Kakashi's bitter laugh shocked him. "A childhood? He's TWO! How long are you going to hold out? 'til he's FIVE? Oh, yeah, that's SO much more reasonable!"

"Hey, YOU were a GENIN at five!"

"Yeah, and just look at how screwed up I am!"

"EXACTLY! And he'll just be starting his _training_, which I will be in charge of and will take _years_!"

Kakashi stopped his ranting instantly and his jaw dropped again. "You..."

"Like I said, it's just on _paper_, but the catch is that he will almost certainly be ANBU before the kids his age graduate the academy. He'll have the best childhood we can give him, even if it doesn't last very long. However, at least he'll _have_ one with us watching out for him."

He sighed. "I still hate it, but...maybe you're right. It is better than...the alternative." Then, he blinked and a peculiar expression took over what Ibiki could see of his face. "So, I guess that's it, huh?"

"What's it?"

"The reason why the Hokage always looks so guilty whenever anyone even mentions the boy."

"Oh, that? No, he was looking that way long before we made that deal."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. To be honest, I have no idea what his deal is, and I'm not too sure I want to know."

Kakashi, Ibiki noted, seemed to have no response to that.

* * *

><p>Naruto's ears practically stood straight up when he heard his name being said in the next room. He didn't know what else they were saying, though, for two reasons: The "a-koo-sticks" were bad and "Ikki" and "Kaka" used a lot of big words. But he did know it was serious because he could feel their hearts speed up and stop a lot. The tall people only did that when something important was going on, and since Ikki and Kaka were the tallest people he knew, it had to be <em>really<em> important. Maybe they'd found the lizard...nah.

He just shook his head and tried to ignore the tingly, weirdly comforting sensation of Ikki's hand on Kaka's shoulder. It wasn't easy. All those blue-ish energies wouldn't stop reaching out for him. And he noticed the masked guy outside wasn't very comfortable sitting on that tree. Naruto didn't feel him squirming, exactly, but he shifted ever-so-slightly. Then, there was the Old Man in town whose blue energy felt like it was getting darker. It'd been doing that for awhile now.

But there was one energy that always seemed to comfort him when he "con-sin-trate-id" on it. It was that nice lady with the brown hair who had always come to see him in the orphanage. She'd always been careful not to let anyone else know she was there, but Naruto had felt the blue stuff and gone up to say hi. She'd been sitting in a tree and had nearly fallen off the branch, but she'd seemed happy to talk. Naruto wondered if Rin was as lonely as he. If she was, then it was his job to keep her company, but Rin didn't seem to be awake right now. Her blue energy was calm and peaceful, just like bathtub with no one moving the water.

He was about to back off, since he already felt better, when he felt a different energy coming from her tummy, and this one was also really still. Naruto didn't know much about all that blue stuff, but it felt to him like this person was really sad. Maybe he could get Ikki to take him to see Rin and then he could fix whatever was wrong.

Maybe he could fix Kaka and Ikki, too. They also really seemed upset right now and he didn't like that. He liked it much better when the tall people were happy, not sad like that weird Bandaged Man. No one's blue stuff should ever be that dark.

* * *

><p>"...Hey, Kakashi?"<p>

"Yes, Ibiki?"

"Why are you wearing an apron?"

"Ah, that! Well, you see..."

* * *

><p>Moments later, all throughout the village, a shout was heard.<p>

"**KAKASHI! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN!"**

* * *

><p>Author's Corner:<p>

So...this is the end of the third chapter, and I must say that I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. I'm not sure if I want the next one to have a huge leap in time or a small one. Anyway, here are a few facts in case you missed them:

1. The medical process of transferring an unborn child to a surrogate mother is extremely dangerous, mostly for the woman. The doctors might be able to create an artificial womb of sorts, but it is not natural and is therefore potentially deadly. Every medic knows this, and since Kakashi's spent so much time around Rin, he's also aware of the dangers and it terrifies him.

2. Ibiki did not have the best of childhoods. His father, as stated, was an abusive drunk, and while you'll hear a little more about his family later, all you need to know right now is that both of Ibiki's parents had a quote for every occasion. They had great advice that they never followed, leaving their son without anyone he felt he could trust but with much wisdom on how NOT to live his life.

3. Ibiki and Inoichi...this is going to be a complex relationship. To summarize it, after Ibiki had been caught and tortured by the enemy, the Yamanaka clan head had taken him in to help rehabilitate him. Somewhere along the line, they'd begun to see each other as real family. Unfortunately, family members do not always get along (*cough*Cain and Abel*cough*) and they are both too proud to admit they miss each other.

4. The Hokage...yeah, I'm going to leave this one a mystery for now, but feel free to guess.

5. Naruto's sensor abilities are NOT from the Kyuubi; they are also not a bloodline. It's purely him and nothing else. However, he's not even three years old. The emotions he understands are happiness, fear, pain, and sadness. Evil isn't even in his dictionary. Yet. He categorizes the emotions he knows by what a person's chakra is doing and what color it is at that moment, and he can also tell what the _person_ is doing if he really concentrates. As you can see, because of this kind of exposure to other people, Naruto is already more advanced than normal. However, while he is very intelligent, he's still just a child.

Looks like my email accounts are safe. If I ever find out who hacked me, that person or people will get a boot in his/her/their face(s). Anyway, I hope you all liked the update!


	4. Civilized Men

_Have you noticed that the most subtle shedders of blood have almost invariably been most civilised men...?_

_-Fyodor Dostoyevsky_

The day her funeral was held, Asuma was not in attendance.

The Hokage, not knowing how to approach his bull-headed son, had been sitting in his office with his head in his hands, praying to whatever deity was out there that both Rin and his grandson—it was definitely a boy, the various doctors had told him—would both survive. He hoped God would hear him, but he wasn't depending on it. "Hope for the best and plan for the worst," he always said. This was no different.

So, he sat, thought, and prayed until a boar-masked ANBU quietly entered his office.

Sarutobi didn't even lift his head.

"Hokage-sama," the ANBU—a female—spoke, "I have the completed reports here with me."

"Leave them. I'll read them later."

"Yes, sir." But she made no attempt to leave.

"Something else?" his tired voice asked. Even when mourning, he was the leader of this village and had a job to do.

"During the preliminary interrogations of the surviving missing-nins, a...particular name came up."

He didn't like the wary and ill-at-ease way she said that. "What name?" _'What else could possibly go wrong now?'_

"It was Orochimaru, Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi finally lifted his head, and his eyes filled with horror. "What?"

"Several of the prisoners mentioned him by name. And the enemy known as Dragon had a...curse seal."

The hands he had once rested his head on slammed down onto the desk in front of him.

Boar jumped and winced behind her mask. "S-sir?"

The Hokage's voice was unusually calm when he answered with eyes closed. "You are dismissed."

She gulped, muttered a hasty "yes, sir" and high-tailed it out of there.

However, even as she walked out the door, a certain Jounin was walking in. Asuma took one, unsympathetic look at his father before he tossed a scroll on his desk and walked out again. Hiruzen, teeth clenched in fury at his youngest son's extremely rude behavior and the other situation that had just dropped into his lap, swung his left hand out and flung the piles of paper to the floor. Asuma was the reason Satomi had died—no, he had to be fair; she had made her own choices, but his ignorance and arrogance were nearly out of control and had definitely contributed. And he...he was the one who'd let the traitor Orochimaru live all those months ago and was therefore responsible for _everything else._

He needed a break. He needed a six-year vacation away from the insanity before he, too, went insane. But he couldn't; he still had a '_job_,' his mind sneered, to do. It would only end when he either retired again (unlikely) or died in office (highly likely). So, rather than explode...further...he angrily snatched the scroll his son had practically thrown at him and opened it up.

_'So, you choose to run, do you? Very well, Asuma,'_ Sarutobi thought as he finished reading and then grabbed a pen and signed his name at the bottom, but not before adding a stipulation of his own to the contract. It looked like his son had solved one problem for him: the issue of his punishment.

Asuma might have been joining the Twelve Guardians, but for the three years the contract required, he would never be able to step foot in Konoha again. Effective at noon tomorrow, the Hokage's remaining son was essentially banished and assigned a three-year-long babysitting mission.

And it was all on the Fire Daimyo's payroll.

So, at 5:00 the next evening, when Satomi's funeral took place, Asuma Sarutobi, team leader and Hokage's son, was nowhere to be found.

He wouldn't be for three years, and he never once asked about his team before leaving.

* * *

><p><em>December 30, 9:00 p.m.<em>

Sarutobi restlessly paced in front of the doors leading to the operation room where his grandson—he'd already decided on the name Konohamaru—was being delivered. He'd been told that the most dangerous months were over; after three months had passed without incident, the doctors had told him that it was very likely both Rin and the infant would survive just fine. Her body had adjusted to the sudden and rather intrusive strain placed upon it and the tiny baby had accepted the surrogate's chakra signature. Everything was going fine for the first time in what felt like forever.

"Jiji, c'am dowwwn," a young voice sitting on a chair to the right of the hall said.

Hiruzen blinked and looked at the boy before nodding and sitting beside him. "Sorry if I worried you, Naru-chan. I just can't seem to relax."

The blonde three-year-old nodded as a surprisingly intelligent light came into his eyes. "'e's you' gwan'son,"

The Sandaime smiled at the amazing perceptiveness and said, "Yes, he is, and we'll be able to meet him in just a few minutes."

Once again, Naruto nodded. "'e's scare' o' da lights...I think," he muttered.

Before the village leader could ask what the child had meant, he heard footsteps rushing towards them from the opposite end of the hall.

"Sorry I'm late," Kakashi announced, as though it were unusual, "but that red-headed nurse at the register wouldn't leave me alone. She kept asking me out on dates and suggesting...things." He quickly trailed off when he saw Naruto sitting there and staring at him with big, blue eyes wide with curiosity.

"Wha' she want?"

The Hokage shot his Jounin a dirty glare.

Kakashi answered hurriedly. "Er, she wanted to, uh, play a board game, but I had to keep telling her I had somewhere important to be."

"'choo could'a played late-uh."

"Ahem!" Sarutobi coughed pointedly.

"Um, she, er, cheats at them...?"

The Third rolled his eyes, but Naruto nodded. "No play wi' cheat-uhs. Dey _mean_."

Sarutobi smirked. "You're absolutely right, Naru-chan, although that does make me wonder just how Kakashi knows that she cheats..."

The Jounin choked. "H-hokage-sama! I-"

However, before the masked man could defend himself properly against the _outrageous_ insinuations of his boss, a doctor with a small, wrapped bundle came out of the operating room. She grinned widely at the men (and ignored the boy) standing before her as she congratulated the Hokage on his new grandson and leered at Kakashi, as though asking him when she could expect him to produce one of his own.

Not anytime soon, if the flat stare he gave her in return were any indication.

But Sarutobi noticed that his irritation died away swiftly when he looked at little Konohamaru now resting in his grandfather's arms. Instead of his usual, half-asleep attitude, the Jounin's expression actually softened.

It was Naruto who actually had the brains to ask, "How's Win?"

The doctor didn't react.

Kakashi's one visible eye narrowed. "I believe he asked you a question, Miss," he said with his words laced with a bit of a threat.

"Oh? I must not have heard." With that, she turned around and began walking away, until...

"Doctor."

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"Turn around."

She turned.

"Answer Naruto's question. _Now._"

The woman didn't even attempt to hide her sneer. "Sorry. Like I said, I must not have heard _it._"

Hiruzen's eyebrow shot up to his hairline. "You would dare defy a direct order, kunoichi?"

She refused to answer him.

"Fine." He had ways of dealing with this. "Lion," he called out to the ANBU he'd stationed to protect Rin months ago.

The ANBU appeared and knelt at his commander's feet. "How may I serve you, Hokage-sama?"

"Take this...lady...to my office. She is not allowed to leave until I say otherwise."

"Yes, sir!" And just like that, the Lion-masked ANBU snatched up the suddenly pale and shaking lady and vanished.

Naruto hadn't said a word.

It infuriated Sarutobi that, even on such a joyous occasion, people couldn't look past their own noses to see how much they were harming an innocent child who wasn't even old enough to read. And this time, it had been one of his own soldiers who had _deliberately_ and _pointedly_ defied his orders. Had it not occurred to her that such a thing was grounds for immediate execution? Or that his hands itched at the very thought of strangling her himself? She truly was an idiot, and Hiruzen would thoroughly enjoy teaching her the error of her ways.

But for now, he had a quiet three-year-old to attend to.

He sat down in the chair next to the blonde. "Naru-chan? Would you like to hold Konohamaru?"

The boy didn't look at him or even blink, as far as the Hokage could tell.

"Naruto?"

"Was weally da-hk," he finally whispered.

"What was dark?"

"See was."

"She was? What do you m-"

But Kakashi interrupted his gentle interrogation. "Naruto, don't worry about her. She's just like the nurse who cheats at board games. Remember when you told me that I should stay away from people like that?"

Naruto turned wide, confused eyes towards the Jounin.

"Do you?" he prompted.

The boy nodded.

"That's why she was dark. People like that you need to stay away from, ok? Because they're mean just like her."

A light of understanding came into the bright blue eyes as the child finally relaxed again. "'k," he said, and that was that.

Sarutobi thought it would be wise to save whatever questions he had for later. This was supposed to be a celebration, not a funeral. "Now, Naru-chan, would you like to hold my grandson?"

Naruto looked at him with eagerness and nodded quickly. "Yeah!"

"Ok, climb in my lap, then, so I can help you hold onto him."

The blonde three-year-old eagerly shifted over to the old man's lap, and the Hokage gently put his arms around the boy and situated the baby in his arms so that they were both holding him. Konohamaru opened his eyes and looked straight at Naruto with sleepy, rather grumpy-looking eyes.

"Hi, dere, Ko. 'M Nawuto. 'Choo sleep bett-uh now?"

Konohamaru stared for a moment more and then, with a yawn, went right back to sleep. The Hokage chuckled. But he had to ask something: "Naruto, what do you mean?"

"Huh?"

"You asked if he was sleeping better. What did you mean?"

"Well-"

But once again, Kakashi interrupted. "Ah, Hokage-sama, we should really go check on Rin and take the little guy back to her. Knowing her, she'll be worried sick he's not where she can see."

Sarutobi narrowed his eyes dangerously. There was something going on here and he knew it. The desperate look on Kakashi's face said it all. He opened his mouth to demand answers from the Jounin, but it was that _look_ that stopped him. What was going on?

"Please, Hokage-sama," Kakashi muttered, "_don't_."

Hiruzen slowly nodded. He'd leave it alone for now, but he _would_ find out later.

The Hokage shook his head and turned back to the two boys in his arms. Both, he noticed, were asleep. How could he interrupt that? Instead, he looked at the Copy-nin and motioned with his arms.

"W-what? You want _me_ to-"

Sarutobi glared.

"Ok, ok...geez..." The Jounin then bent down and gently plucked the baby from the boy's grasp and cradled him to his chest.

The Hokage got up next, doing his best not to wake up his own burden, and both moved toward the operating room where Rin was waiting.

They entered the room to find nurses bustling about as they cleaned and removed several machines and brought more in while a pale figure rested on the lone bed. Her eyes were closed, wet tendrils of brown hair were clinging to her forehead, and the purple tribal markings on her cheeks were faint, having been nearly washed away in the sweat. It was Rin, and she was in a state of exhaustion-induced sleep.

As they stepped farther into the room, a body bumped into their little group. "Oh! Excuse me! I'm so sorry, Hokage-sama! I didn't notice you coming in!" the nurse (a male) said in a bit of a panic.

He smiled. "It's no problem. We're just here to check on Rin. How is she?"

"Um, she's...doing rather well, considering..." the nurse drifted off.

"Considering the whole situation?" Hiruzen prompted.

"Yes, sir. That plus her comparatively young age, the opposing natures-"

"Opposing natures?" Kakahi interrupted.

The man shrugged helplessly. "I really don't know much about it, sirs, except to say that sometimes the baby and mother's chakra natures are opposites. It can really wreak havoc on her system—morning sickness gets worse, jutsu use is all but impossible...basically, it causes much greater strain. But like I said, I don't know much myself, being just a nurse and all. Doctor Yakushi can tell you more."

Both shinobi nodded thoughtfully. Sarutobi noted that he'd have to get more information later and asked, "So, Rin's going to be just fine, then?"

"We think so. There's no way to tell for _sure_ until a few tests have been done, but it looks as though she'll make a full recovery."

"When will she wake up?"

"We gave he some medication, so it'll probably be another hour or two. It's hard to tell with you ninja; you recover a lot faster than we do, but that's what Doctor Yakushi was saying. Anyway, we're about to move her to a recovery room, if that's alright with you, sir..."

The Hokage eyed the woman—teenager, really—lying unconscious on the bed thoughtfully. "Hmm. Alright, thank you. You may return to your work."

Obligingly, the nurse immediately left them to their own devices as another nurse (a female, this time) dragged in a different bed behind her. The Jounin and the old man watched as the various hospital staff members lowered the railings on both beds and gently—ever so gently—transferred the brunette to the new mattress. Then, she was rolled out of the room with her visitors following and Naruto muttering something about "Wamen" in his sleep.

Sarutobi wondered whether he was referring to ramen or...well, he had been spending a lot of time with Kakashi lately; it was just as possible that he'd mispronounced "women." Though he disapproved on moral grounds, the pipe-smoking, _Icha Icha_ reader would be a hypocrite to speak against it, so he kept his mouth shut.

But he _did_ glare at Kakashi out of the corner of his eye as they walked into Rin's new room.

Kakashi just blinked innocently. "What?"

Sarutobi grumbled.

And then, Kakashi shrugged, jostling the tiny bundle in his arms.

At that, baby Konohamaru woke up and began crying. And judging by the decibels, his grandson was _not_ going to be one of those quiet, easygoing children...ever. And he looked even grumpier than before, if such a thing were possible. Thankfully, the baby was crying in _Kakashi's_ ear, so Sarutobi figured he could live with the discomfort for the moment.

Until Naruto woke up, as well. "Jiji...?" he murmured sleepily.

"Shhh. It's ok, Naru-chan. Konohamaru's just giving Kakashi a piece of his mind."

"...Ko's mad at Kaka?"

The Hokage stilled for a moment and quickly glanced at his Jounin.

Kakashi had tensed and gone rather still. The baby was still crying, however.

Hiruzen smirked. "Yes, Naruto, Ko's mad at...Kaka."

The famous ninja practically choked behind his mask and opened his mouth to make a comment when a voice from the hospital bed spoke.

"Kakashi, if you don't hand me my son right this very moment, I'll castrate you with a rusted spoon."

"R-rin?"

But it seemed Rin wasn't finished with her threat. "And then I'll barbecue the removed items before your eyes and serve them to your dogs."

The world-renowned Copy-nin gulped. "Right." Wisely, he quickly moved to her bedside and _very_ carefully handed his former teammate her foster son.

"Win?" a tiny voice asked.

The Hokage looked down at the boy who was now squirming out of his hold. "'Win'?" He allowed the three-year-old his freedom and stared at her. "Does he know you?"

He got his answer when the hyperactive child practically rant to the bed, climbed up, and—surprisingly gently—hugged both her and Konohamaru. "Winny!" he cried happily.

To his left, Sarutobi noted Kakashi muttering about her having the best nickname, and the aged man had to agree; "Winny" was far better than "Old Man" or...what he called Kakashi. He wondered if Ibiki had one equally embarrassing...

"Hey," he whispered to the silver-haired man standing beside him as they watched Rin and the three-year-old tickle Kono's stomach.

"Hmm?"

"What's Morino's name?"

"...Last I checked, it was Ibiki..."

"No, not that one—what does Naru-chan call him?"

At that, a peculiar gleam lit up the Copy-nin's one visible eye. "Ikki."

A snort very nearly escaped the esteemed Hokage's mouth. "So, I'm old, he's gross, you're-"

"Don't even," Kakashi warned.

"-and she's the main character of a beloved children's book."*

"The world is a cruel, cruel place, Hokage-sama."

"Yes, and I dare say he will grow up to be rather popular with the ladies."

The Jounin sighed. "Yup."

"...Aging sucks."

As he watched his old teammate hold the blonde boy next to her as she started nursing the baby, Kakashi said that, in that moment, he completely agreed.

* * *

><p>Naruto stared in amazement at the newborn in front of him. This must've been the little person who'd been keeping Winny awake! He stared at Kono as the teenager in front of him began breastfeeding the grumpy infant and wondered why his blue stuff was calm now when it had been swirly just hours before. And it was really low, too. Where'd it all go? Maybe if he asked, they'd tell him.<p>

"Winny?"

"Hmm?" she murmured back, distracted by her surrogate son's feeding.

"Where da b'oo stuff go?"

She blinked in confusion. "'Blue stuff'?"

He nodded.

"What blue stuff?"

"Is wight dere-" he said as he pointed towards Ko's heart, "-an' was all swirly, bu' now's gone." Naruto wondered why his words were making Kaka look scared. Jiji looked like he was...what had Ikki called it?...like he was "cur-ee-ous." Win just looked confused.

"Naruto," Kaka started, "stop-"

But Old Man wouldn't let him finish. (Naruto thought Jiji looked "sus-fish-ous-lee" at Kaka, but why would he do that?) "No, by all means, Naru-chan, please explain."

Naruto blinked. "Is b'oo. B'oo stuff. Jiji an' Kaka got lots. Kono little." He shrugged. "Is b'oo." They were the adults; shouldn't they know what it was?

Jiji's mouth dropped open—Naruto giggled; Old Man looked funny!—before he turned to Kaka and said something about "chadra."

"Wha's 'chadra'?" he asked.

"Chakra," Winny corrected in a whisper. "You're seeing...chakra?"

Once again, Naruto was confused. "Um..."

Jiji tugged Kaka's sleeve and dragged him outside of the room.

Naruto shrugged. He'd seen weirder things. Instead, he put his hand on Ko's head and messed up the little bit of hair he found. Even Jiji had more than that! "Ko...you kinda bald."

He had no idea why Winny started laughing.

* * *

><p>"Kakashi! What was that in there?"<p>

But Kakashi didn't want to answer. Instead, he hung his head slightly, knowing that this man could easily kill him with a single blow. He was A-ranked, which was great, considering the fact that he wasn't even 18, but it was a long ways away from S-ranked. It served to remind the Jounin that he really needed to train more. He kind of liked living, after all.

"Answer me, Hatake!"

"I can't, Hokage-sama."

"Oh? And why not?"

"Because," he said as a strange pain in his chest made him wince, "I don't want him to become a weapon. He...he's too young." Kakashi couldn't help but think that _he_ had been too young, too. "Please, sir, there are just some things you shouldn't ask. Trust Ibiki and me; we're just trying to keep him safe for a little while longer."

The Hokage growled. "I understand that, Kakashi. Despite what you think, I want what's best for the brat, too. But we signed _contracts_, and if certain parties find out that we've kept this hidden, he _will_ be taken away and made into a weapon. We don't have a choice but to hold up our end of the deal!"

The Copy-nin was frustrated. "Would at least mind telling me what this deal is?"

Sarutobi rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I can't show you here. Meet me in my office in an hour. Right now—could this day possibly get any worse?-I just want to spend some more time with the family I have left. You...for right now, I think you need to go."

Kakashi felt like he'd been punched in the gut, but he Body Flickered away as ordered with one thought in mind: Find Ibiki. They needed to act fast.

The interrogator was, of course, busy with his job when the Jounin found him. He watched from a viewing room as his friend asked a strange man some questions. The stranger, of course, refused to talk, but Ibiki was known in every nation for a reason.

"You know," he said conversationally, "we could just put you back in the Dark Room. Would you like that? You'd have lots of time to be quiet then. Just think of all the sleep you could catch up on!"

The man started shivering, and with good reason. The Dark Room had been developed by the First Hokage's wife as the first fully-sealed torture chamber ever created. There was none to match it in the world. It was a room with no light, no sound, and no smell whatsoever; if the prisoner even farted, the seals detected it and removed both the noise and stench without the enemy ever being aware. And sleep offered no reprieve; a specialized genjutsu made sure the person would experience nothing but the most horrifying nightmares.

Kakashi had heard of men and women who had broken within minutes of being shoved in that room. This man that Ibiki was interrogating had good reason to fear, though it sounded like he'd already been in there once. _"Must be a tough one,"_ he thought.

The prisoner sweated at the threat but stubbornly refused to talk. Ibiki smiled as though delighted before snapping his fingers and having two ANBU drag the man out of the room. Kakashi immediately walked in, and his friend turned to him in surprise.

"Kakashi? What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk..."

"Fine. We'll head to my office."

His office, as it turned out, was rather spartan in appearance. A metal desk sat in a corner with a chair that only looked mildly comfortable, no pictures in sight, and filing cabinets lining the walls. Everything was gray, black, and forest green—the most boring color choices he could possibly have chosen, in Kakashi's opinion.

"Take a seat."

"...Where?"

"There's a stool behind the door. Use it."

The Copy-nin wanted to complain about the world's most uncomfortable chair, but he kept his mouth shut. He had more important things on his mind, after all.

"You wanted to talk, so speak."

Ten minutes and a very aggravated interrogation specialist later, Ibiki had the story. "Great, Kakashi. Just great. I leave him with you for the day and this is what happens." He wearily rubbed his forehead and turned his chair away from his friend.

"Well, what can we do?"

"'Do'? What do you mean, 'what can we do?'"

"How do we stop it?"

The harsh bark of laughter made him go cold. "We don't, Kakashi."

"Then, what-"

Ibiki turned towards him harshly. "Nothing! There's nothing we can do now! He's the HOKAGE! He can't simply pretend he doesn't know—that it didn't happen _right in front of him!_ If he doesn't follow through with his agreements, did you know that it is entirely possible for him to be accused of treason?"

"Impossible! He's the Hokage!"

"Yes, and as Hokage, there are rules that even he has to follow!"

"LIKE WHAT?" Kakashi shouted.

"He is held to whatever he signs his name; he _must_ uphold and follow the laws he creates or that his predecessors created. He is not required to tell his advisors everything; however, he also cannot simply break agreements. The Hokage would need the backing of two-thirds of the Clan Heads in a situation like this, and we both know he's not going to get it. They _hate_ him, Kakashi. They hate Naruto and aren't about to lift a finger to help him."

"But he's-"

"The leader of every ninja in Konoha, and Naruto's _not_ a ninja. Right now, he's still a civilian, and that's why the Hokage had to pull just about every string he had to get this deal in the first place. He didn't have custody over her; the 'lady,'" he snorted with contempt, "at the orphanage _did_, and it took actual bribes to shut her up and a compromise to get Danzo to back off."

Kakashi was silent. All he could do was wonder what his beloved village had become. Was this what his sensei had died for—to watch his only child be used like a political bargaining chip with the stakes being his life and sanity?

"As long as he wasn't aware, no one could claim he'd violated the agreement. The two of us would probably have gotten no more than a slap on the wrist, since we're so important to the village and all. Sarutobi-sama's different; Danzo's been after that hat for decades. They'd replace him if they had actual proof of 'treason.' Who knows what he'd do to Naru-chan then..."

"Then, this deal..."

"Go talk to the Hokage about it. We still have options about how to train him, but..."

Kakashi understood and Flickered away. The belief that he had utterly failed his dead teacher would likely give him nightmares for years to come, and the document his leader showed him did not help matters.

_Subject: Naruto Uzumaki_

_Status: Civilian orphan, aged 2, born 97 A.F. Oct. 10_

_Parents/Guardians: Ai Fujimoto, director of Konohagakure's orphanage_

_Issue: Placement of one Naruto Uzumaki in Danzo Shimura's custody_

_In exchange for new housing for the orphans, Director Fijimoto agrees to delay the custody proceedings. In exchange for withdrawing his application as possible custodian, Shimura is to be granted one ANBU training area for his sole use without restrictions as well as three new trainees. Also, Uzumaki is to given over to ANBU for training purposes once said child's chakra activates, or before age seven._

The whole thing was signed by the orphanage director, Danzo, and, most importantly, the Hokage himself. Perhaps it wasn't quite as legally binding as most would think. Perhaps it couldn't be considered proof of any so-called treason. But the fact of the matter was that he had signed it. Anything signed by the Hokage's hand was law. Violating it meant violating the law, and that _was_ considered treason, no matter how minor. And Danzo would be just the type to capitalize on it and "enhance" it to suit his purposes.

Ibiki was right; there was nothing they could do.

It was time for Naruto's childhood to end and his days as a trained killer to begin.

* * *

><p>*Kaka is, essentially, Caca, which refers to poop. And Winny...ever heard of Winnie the Pooh?<p>

I hope you all liked this chapter. I really wanted to do a few things with it.

1. I wanted to make sure that Asuma comes across as a cocky, immature kid who means well but can't seem to get his head out of his other end. He's not a bad guy and doesn't even realize he's being a jerk—just like most people who are jerks—much less what has happened. He's caught up in feeling sorry for himself and bitter about his life. Asuma is a teenager; he's allowed to have a little angst.

2. I wanted Konohamaru to be born. Really, he may not be a central character by any means, but he's still interesting. And then, there's Rin herself. She still has a purpose, so I couldn't just kill her off...yet.

3. I wanted this chapter to end on a dark note with Naruto essentially being ripped from his childhood in a cold and, above all, calculating manner. It's politics, pure and simple, where the welfare of an innocent boy is pushed aside for the supposedly greater good. However, there is **no** pathetic Civilian Council that overrides the Hokage, blah blah blah. There are advisors, who also have **no** power to override the Hokage. That doesn't mean they can't make life extremely difficult for him, though, and if they bring their issues to the Daimyo and the clan leaders, it is very possible that they could get him overthrown. No one wants a Hokage who won't follow his own rules, after all. (Loose cannon, anyone?)

4. I wanted to emphasize that THERE IS NO CIVILIAN COUNCIL! There is going to be no village bashing, per se. There will be numerous bitter, dangerous individuals, but there will be very few who ever act on those feelings. They will ignore him, snub him, and even belittle him, but outright attack they will not. So, there's no civilian council breathing down anybody's neck. However, there are the clan heads. They can take a vote to repeal laws if necessary. Call it a system of checks and balances: the advisors bring needed changes to the Hokage's attention, he makes the laws, and the clan heads repeal those that are outdated or just plain stupid. Personally, I like it.

* * *

><p>Now, just a few things I wanted to say: I don't care how many reviews this gets. Review or don't review; I really don't give a crap. That's not to say I don't care if you enjoy it, because I do. I want everyone who reads this to like it. But it won't devastate me if you don't. I'm writing it because I like it and what to see it through. That being said, I'm making a little bet with myself.<p>

I bet that if I add the words "ANBU Naruto" to my story's summary, the number of people reading this will jump through the roof. I'm thinking a 20% increase.

The stakes: Twenty-dollars spending spree if I win, one hour of cleaning if I lose. *Shrugs* I'm poor, or else I'd have made it $200. And I don't really like cleaning.

I'll do this after the next chapter.


	5. Childhood

(A little bit of history that you don't really need to read but might entertain you...)

After the Third Shinobi War ended, the world was—mostly—at peace. Iwa was beaten, Kiri was dealing with its own numerous issues, Suna was all but castrated economically, Konoha was the victor...again, and Kumo was pissed.

But the Raikage saw his chance for revenge when he heard about the Kyuubi breaking free from its container and attacking the village. The Leaf, he knew, was weakened and couldn't handle another war just then, while Cloud had never stopped preparing as if for war. In the beginning, he merely saw it as an opportunity.

It was a little-known fact that girls of the Hyuuga clan were very rarely branded with a curse seal. They didn't need to be, since, unlike males, so few actually became ninja and therefore never left the village in the first place. Also, the curse seal prevented the byakugan from being passed on to offspring, meaning the females were the only ones who could preserve the legendary bloodline. All of it was done in an effort to make sure the ability never left the clan, and it worked. But the Raikage saw it as a rare chance to snatch one of the unsealed girls for himself. In his mind, it would kill two birds with one stone: it would soothe his wounded ego and would gain a valuable bloodline for his people.

That was all it was in the beginning—an opportunity. At the end, however, all he could see was death.

* * *

><p>"It strikes! one, two,<br>Three, four, five, six. Enough, enough, dear watch,  
>Thy pulse hath beat enough. Now sleep and rest;<br>Would thou could'st make the time to do so too;  
>I'll wind thee up no more."<br>-Ben Jonson

_June 6, 12:00 p.m._

Ibiki watched with sadness as his foster-son once again attempted a perfect kata in their small yet adequate backyard. Naruto wasn't what many would call a genius, but he was so unbelievably stubborn that no one would ever call him lacking. But that was just in the physical department. Mentally...Ibiki hadn't quite figured him out.

He'd only been training the boy for about six months and had, of course, started at the foundation—with taijutsu. Every ninja needed coordination, and the kid was just now developing it. But, boy, had those first few attempts been pretty pitiful. Still, that bottom lip of his had puffed out and he'd gotten back up no matter how many times he'd fallen. Naruto had tried again and again and again until he'd figured the first kata out. It was pure stubbornness keeping him going, not skill.

He was _not_ a natural taijutsu user.

Thinking that, the infamous interrogator snorted. Just because he wasn't a natural didn't mean he couldn't be great at it...eventually. It just meant it'd take a bit more work. Ibiki winced as Naruto once again tangled up his limbs and collapsed with a loud THUMP. He let the childish bad-mouthing wash over him and looked over at the shinobi sitting on the grass to his right.

"Hey."

"What?" the figure said without taking his eyes off the book in his lap.

"Are you paying _any_ attention...at all?"

He turned a page. "Yup."

Ibiki waited for a beat. "And?"

The man's attention never left the typed words in front of him. "He messed up the placement of his left foot and lost his balance while stepping back."

Ibiki waited again.

"...And then he fell and insulted the ground for being too hard...?"

"Kakashi! You're supposed to be helping me! Do you _have_ to read all the time?"

"Why, yes, I do."

"Kakashi..." he growled.

"Hmph. The only thing you said was not to read _Icha Icha_ around Idate and Naruto anymore." He turned the book's front towards his friend. "See? No sex."

As he read the title, Ibiki couldn't help but slap his head. "_Black Beauty_? Seriously?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I finished that cookbook a long time ago."

"So I noticed," he said through clenched teeth. The Jounin had tried out every single recipe in _his_ kitchen.

"After that, I read _The Pillow Book_, which, I have to say, was not what I was expecting."

Ibiki's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "And what was it you were expecting?" He dimly noted that Naruto had fallen again and was kicking the ground in anger.

"Well, certainly not essays and stories about the imperial court. A little bit more scandal would've been nice..."

"You mean, 'a bit more promiscuity,'" he accused the Copy-nin.

He nodded and didn't even try to deny it. "Yup."

Ibiki sighed. "Pervert. Maybe _I _should start wearing a mask rather than be seen in public with you."

As if shocked, Kakashi dropped his book on the grass and put his hand over his heart as he gasped out, "Ibiki! How could you? And I thought you loved me!"

Vaguely nauseated, the interrogator rolled his eyes. "Sorry, but I prefer shaved legs."

Kakashi picked up his book with a flourish. "Oh, but how you would you know that, Ibiki? If I recall correctly, you have yet to experience the joys of-"

"Enough." He stood and walked over to the three-year-old boy who was pouting fiercely and sitting on the ground. "Get up, Naruto."

"Bu' Ikki..."

"Come on and I'll show you where you keep messing up. Deal?"

Naruto's pout melted off his face and a brilliant smile took its place as he leapt to his feet. "Yay!"

"Alright, show me each move from the beginning."

So, the boy began and carefully placed each hand and foot where he believed it should go, and Ibiki began making minor corrections—just an inch here or there, really, but that's all it took. Imperfection was unacceptable. A foundation that was imperfect eventually cracked, and no one, **no one**, was "cracking" his foster-son.

They went over it till it was time for lunch, with Kakashi throwing in a rare comment and idea. (Really, he was just shy of being completely useless.)

"Hey! Kakashi!" Ibiki called out to the slack-off he called friend.

"Yo?"

"Lunch! You coming or are you just going to sit there and do _nothing_?"

Kakashi sighed, put his book away, and walked over to them. "Fine. I finished it an hour ago, anyway."

Ibiki choked and sputtered. That jerk! "Then why weren't you helping?"

The infuriating man shrugged. "Looked like you had everything under control to me. Besides, that moving scene where Black Beauty stands side-by-side his sick master the whole night—it moved my heart."

Ibiki growled angrily. "_I'll_ move your heart, you little bast-"

"Ah-ah-ah!" Kakashi said as he wagged his finger. "There's a little boy nearby; do be sure to watch your language a little more closely in the future."

"You..."

"Besides, I prefer shaved legs," he said, throwing Ibiki's own words back at him, "and _I_ know that for _sure_."

"Oh, please," Ibiki scoffed. "Who'd sleep with you?"

"Rin."

"...Rin shaves her legs?"

Kakashi sighed and then slumped. "No," he admitted.

"HA! Then you DON'T know! You haven't experienced it, either!"

The Copy-nin mumbled something about it being difficult to find a good date while Ibiki laughed.

"Uh...Ikki?" a small, _young_ voice piped up next to them.

Both men jumped. They hadn't been paying any attention and Naruto had caught them by surprise.

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Wha' 'choo talkin' 'bout?"

Ibiki turned to his friend and said with a smirk, "Oh, we're just reminiscing about our lack of...experience."

Kakashi grumbled out something that sounded suspiciously like "books count," but Naruto had already blinked, shrugged, and turned away.

Ibiki couldn't help but snicker as all three of them made their way back to his house, one of them distinctly more depressed than before as he sat down at the table.

Naruto, however, followed Ibiki into the kitchen to check out the food.

"Wha's fo' lunch, Ikki?"

"Miso soup and rice."

"...No wamen?"

"No ramen."

Naruto left to sit at the table, and Idate came in the kitchen right then to voice his own opinions. "Awww...no brownies?"

"No brownies."

Both boys pouted.

Ibiki chuckled. "Idate, how's your reading coming along?"

Idate looked distinctly uncomfortable. "It's hawd, Ibiki. Why I gotta wead it, anyway?"

"Because it's one of the most revered books in history, not to mention one of the few to actually survive this long. It tells us what our culture was like before villages were formed—before jutsu were created, even. For some people, it's the only thing that survives of their lives and work." He grabbed the bowls of soup and a larger bowl of rice and walked to the dining room.

"Huh?" the child said, confusion twisting his features into that of a cute puppy.

As he placed the food before his guest and pseudo-son, he told him, "That book is the only reason we know those people once lived. They'd have been forgotten, otherwise."

Idate blinked. "Oh."

"So, are you going to keep reading it?"

His little brother nodded reluctantly.

"What book are you talking about, Ibiki?" Kakashi asked.

Ibiki set the bowls of soup down, one next to each plate. The rice he set in the middle. "The _Man'yoshu_."

"Ah." He reached for his chopsticks and took a bit, humming in approval.

"Wha's da Manny...er, da Manno...wha' is it?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi was the one to tell him as he reached for the rice. "The _Man'yoshu_. It's made up of poetry that a lot of different people wrote. Some of those poems are so old that we had to study them for years just to understand the language in which they were written." Using a spoon, he poured some of his soup onto his rice.

Naruto stared at him in awe. Though he clearly hadn't understood everything the scarecrow had said, he understood enough to be impressed. "C'n I wead it?"

Kakashi looked amused even as he took a bite. "I don't know. Can you?"

"Huh?"

"Can you read?"

"Uh..."

"I'll take that as a no."

Naruto sheepishly rubbed the back of his head and Kakashi sucked in a sharp breath before turning away.

"Naruto," Ibiki said, "eat up. You don't want to eat cold soup, right?"

"Wight!" he nodded and then started digging in. Then... "Kaka?"

"Hmm?"

"How you eat wit' a mask?"

"Genjutsu."

"Gen..joo-ey?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Close enough."

Ibiki sighed. "Naru-chan's had a little trouble with the academic aspects of being a shinobi." He scooped up a bit of rice with his chopsticks. "But he's still young, so I'm not particularly worried about it."

The interrogator saw his friend flinch slightly. He still blamed himself for this, after all. And "young" was a bit of an understatement. Technically, the boy was still a toddler. Idate himself had only recently turned five and was focused entirely on reading and writing, while Naruto was already being shoved into killing. Academics would most likely _always_ take a backseat when it came to Naruto.

Or, at least, that _would_ have been the case if anyone other than Ibiki and Kakashi had been training him.

Kakashi hummed. "I'll get you some flashcards later. For now, I just finished _Black Beauty_, so I need something else to read, too. We can start on the _Man'yoshu_ tonight before you go to sleep."

The interrogator was rather amused. "You're going to read it out loud to him?"

The Copy-nin shrugged. "Sure. Why not?"

Naruto let out a whoop, and Kakashi smiled. But the toddler wasn't quite finished asking questions. "Kaka?"

"Hmm?"

"How's Winny?"

Ibiki sighed. Rin wasn't doing poorly, exactly, but she wasn't recovering quite like they'd thought she would, either. The stress of the surrogacy had taken its toll, and some days it was all she could do to walk up a tree using her chakra. Since her element was and always had been earth, it was clear that the newest Sarutobi had either a lightening or water nature, and the damage to her chakra coils was still healing. Ibiki had been told the hows and whys, but he wasn't a doctor, so the technical terms had gone over his head. Still, she was alive and would most likely remain so for a long time.

"She's doing just fine," he informed his young charge. "She's just having trouble doing ninja stuff right now."

To his surprise, Naruto nodded. "Her b'oo stuff won't do nothin'."

"If you already know about her chakra problem, why did you ask?"

"B'cause...is weally dahk. I don' like it..."

"It's dark? What kind of dark is it? Is it the same as when people in the orphanage used to look at you?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nuh-uh. Dem made me feel cold. Dis is tired."

"'Tired'? It makes you feel tired?"

The blonde nodded.

Ibiki looked over at Kakashi, whose one visible eye was grim. They both had a good idea what the child was describing, but why hadn't Rin said anything? He nodded and then said his goodbyes, disappearing without even a breath of wind to mark his departure—the sign of a master at the Body Flicker, something Kakashi had clearly been working on recently.

"Where's Kaka goin'?" Idate asked.

"He just had some work to catch up on." More like he was going to go make sure Rin got some help. No one cared for his comrades like the Copy-nin.

Naruto frowned at the recently-vacated seat. "'e left a mess..."

Ibiki blinked and then looked at Kakashi's plate. Soup splatters were everywhere, as were tiny grains of rice. He groaned. That man just couldn't resist ruining his kitchen!

* * *

><p><em>7:00 p.m.<em>

Kakashi returned to Ibiki's cabin after meeting with the Hokage for a bit and discussing certain issues, namely Rin and her newly-discovered postpartum depression and, strangely enough, the Hyuuga clan. It was a little later than normal, but he'd given Naruto his word that he would read some of the _Man'yoshu_ to him. Besides, Minato-sensei had told him that it had been something of a family tradition to read and study it, and he wanted to keep at least this alive.

He didn't bother knocking on the door—Naruto would've sensed him and told Ibiki—and simply walked in, only to see Idate and the blonde sitting on the floor as they played with tiny ninja figurines. It wouldn't have been so strange if one of the toys hadn't been hanging from the inside of Naruto's nose.

The Copy-nn looked over at Ibiki, who was sitting on the couch, and lifted his one visible eyebrow.

Ibiki just shrugged. Clearly, he wasn't going to do anything about the disgusting booger.

Ok...he could handle this. He was an adult...almost. Three more months and he'd be there, and he might as well be one now, anyway! He killed people and read porn—it counted no matter what Ibiki said—practically on a daily basis. So, there! He could handle this. He could handle the—oh, no, the snot-covered child was running towards him! It was _hugging_ him!

AND WHAT HAD JUST HIT HIS FOOT? Kakashi looked down and saw, to his horror, the diseased figurine that had previously been up Naruto's nose lying face-down on his sandaled foot. Also, there was a distinctly _damp_ patch on the leg the boy was holding.

He'd lied; there was only one way to handle this, and that was...

Kakashi glanced at Ibiki and made his decision; it was either his sanity or his friend.

...Substitution.

A pop and a poof of smoke later, Naruto was hugging Ibiki's leg and getting snot all over _his_ clothing. And Kakashi lounged on the couch in contentment as his friend glared at him.

"Kakashi...you are such a pansy."

"Mmhmm." Why disagree with the truth?

"And I'm going to burn your _Icha Icha _books for this."

"Good luck with that." He'd kept his precious literature hidden ever since the kunoichi had organized a village-wide smut seek-and-destroy mission a few months ago. No one was laying a hand on his porn.

An hour later, it was time for the two boys to go to bed. After tucking the children in (the Jounin giggled at the interrogator's motherly instincts), Ibiki practically threw the book at him and said, "Here," before walking out the door.

After rolling his eyes, Kakashi cracked open the thick tome and flipped through it till he found a certain page. He sat down on the wooden floor in between the two boys' mats and began reading.

_What we must accept_

_ as we journey through the world_

_is that time will pass_

_ like the waters of a stream;_

_in countless slumbers, _

_in relentless succession,_

_it will besiege us_

_ with assaults we must endure._

"Wha's 'endure,' Kaka?"

"It means 'to last' or 'to keep going even when things are hard.'"

"Oh..."

Kakashi wondered if the little guy understood a word he'd said. Oh, well.

_They could not detain_

_ the period of their bloom,_

_when, as maidens will,_

_they who were then maidens_

_ encircled their wrists_

_ with gemmed bracelets from Cathay,_

_and took their pleasure_

_ frolicking hand in hand_

_ with their youthful friends._

"Do dey f'olick with Mister Green? He's yout'ful."

Mister Green...was Idate referring to Gai? When had the two of them met? And how badly was the boy traumatized? He might have to alert Ibiki to the fact that his brother might need therapy.

"...Let's just keep reading, shall we?"

_So the months and years went by,_

_and when did it fall-_

_that sprinkling of wintry frost_

_ on glistening hair_

_ as black as leopard flower seeds?_

"Kaka?"

"Hmm?"

"Wha's a leapin' flow seed?"

"A leopard flower is a type of lily, Naruto. It's orange and has dark spots on it that make it look like a leopard, and its seeds are a black color."

"Oh. Like owange!"

"...I'm sure you do." He hadn't forgotten the paint incident.

_And whence did they come-_

_those wrinkles that settled in,_

_marring the smoothness_

_ of blushing pink faces?_

Kakashi continued reading until both boys had fallen asleep. Then, he closed the book and did something he would have vehemently denied, had anyone seen it.

He bent down and gently kissed Naruto's forehead, just as his own father had done for him before his death. And then, he turned and did the same for Idate. _'Their parents might be gone, but...they're not alone, and I'll do my best in your place, wherever you are. Both of us will.'_

* * *

><p><em>October 10, 103 A.F.<em>

Naruto woke up automatically and looked at the clock. It was 12:00 a.m., exactly the time he'd wanted. And there was good reason for it. Today was his birthday, and he and his brothers-slash-trainers had come to an understanding over the years: It was his birthday and he'd prank whomever he darn well felt like!

Just the thought caused a smirk to wash over his face, and as he glanced at his brother's snoring form, he chuckled inwardly. Carefully, Naruto pulled back his own blankets as he stalked across the room, making sure to use his chakra to soften his steps as much as possible. He'd learned the tree-walking technique from Kakashi a week ago and had altered the jutsu just for this occasion.

After all, Idate's hearing was top-notch and he could hear and identify anything out of place almost instantly. The last thing he needed was his brother alerting Ibiki to what he had in store. Naruto picked up his backpack that sat by the door, grabbed the doorknob, and gently turned it...

...only to come face-to-face with Ibiki himself.

"Aw, man!" he whined. "That's not fair, Ikki..."

But his oldest brother merely smirked. "Hmph! What's not _fair_ was last year's plastic cover on the toilet in _my bathroom_, the glue and feathers you convinced Gai, of all people, to parade around in for a day, and—Naruto, how in the world you managed this one I'll never know—how you infiltrated the ANBU building and rigged each door to explode with confetti when opened!"

Naruto didn't feel at all guilty, if the proud way he puffed out his chest was any indication. "Yup! Awesome, wasn't it?"

Ibiki's eyes narrowed. "Not after I got the paperwork from the Head of ANBU! Do you have _any_ idea just how much trouble I got in?"

There was something odd about the tone of his older brother's voice, and when he noticed the man in front of him was wearing his shinobi outfit, he had an idea. "Wow, I guess it really wasn't fair, then."

"Nope."

"I mean, you didn't have anything to do with all those pranks..."

"Right."

Naruto's eyes gleamed. "So, would you like to this year?"

His brother's eyebrows rose.

"I mean, I'm gonna prank people today—you know that. And if you're going to have to deal with paperwork one way or another, you might as well earn it."

Now Ibiki's eyes were gleaming. "I was hoping you'd see things my way, kid."

Naruto chuckled evilly. "Hey, wanna hear what I've got in mind for Kaka?"

"You bet."

* * *

><p>As they headed out the door after grabbing several more...necessities, neither one of them noticed that Idate had woken up and was huddling in his bed in fear.<p>

His brothers were _crazy!_

* * *

><p><em>5:00 a.m.<em>

Later that morning, twenty-three of the most powerful ninja in the world forgot to check the toilets for plastic wrap and double-sided sticky tape. The Head of ANBU himself had had his entire left eyebrow shaven off.

It was a very painful morning.

Simultaneously, Konohamaru found himself dressed in a miniature, green spandex suit with orange legwarmers. And Rin woke up to her hand in a bowl of warm water, a relaxed bladder, and soiled sheets.

The Hokage's office was perhaps the hardest hit, emotionally-speaking. Each one of his naughty books had been replaced with pamphlets on STDs, teen pregnancy, and "No Means No." His pipes had been replaced with children's toys that blew bubbles instead of smoke, too.

Kakashi himself wasn't left untouched. He woke up close to noon in his apartment with the feeling that he was forgetting something important but ignored it and went to his kitchen to eat breakfast. Unfortunately for him, he never made it down the hall. The Copy-nin, eyes bleary with sleep, didn't notice the slight sheen and walked right into the plastic cling wrap stretching from floor to ceiling and from wall to wall.

He bounced back and staggered slightly before blinking and ripping the plastic off with his hands. The Jounin grumbled in irritation but was really too sleepy to think deeply on the subject. So, when he stepped in a thick, syrup-glitter mixture, he yelped.

"Geez, what—Naruto!"

* * *

><p><em>1:00 p.m.<em>

Hiruzen massaged his temples. Today was not a good day; his por—er, literature had been cruelly ripped from his grasp, just like his pipes. He didn't even have to think about it to know Naruto Uzumaki was responsible. The six-year-old had matured quickly the few years, sure, but he still insisted on playing pranks on his birthday.

Inevitably, the more his pranks escalated, the more his paperwork grew. Rather than increase his headache, however, he created a Shadow Clone and told it to "get to work." Then, Sarutobi stood up and called for his personal ANBU. This week, it was Leopard, a young man from the Hyuuga clan.

The man appeared as if from nowhere and knelt before his leader. "Hokage-sama?"

He sighed tiredly. "Go get Naruto."

"Yes, sir!" Leopard disappeared and was gone only a few minutes before reappearing with a squirming, blonde bundle dressed in a miniature ANBU uniform under his arm.

"Lemme go! Lemme go! Lemme GO!" Naruto yelled.

The (real) ANBU dropped him.

"Owwww! HEY!"

The Hokage felt his head throb with every syllable. That boy was going to be the death of him some day, wasn't he? "Naruto-"

"You big meanie!"

"I just did what you asked," Leopard replied, amused.

Sarutobi tried again. "Naruto-"

"You knew what I meant, you jerk!"

"Oh? Are you sure about that?"

"_Naruto-_"

"Yeah, I'm sure! The chakra around your heart spiked! You...you liar!"

"NARUTO!"

The boy jumped. "Er, yeah, Old Man?"

"If you wouldn't mind, there's a reason I called you here. Now, please sit down," he said as he pointed to a chair. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his loyal guard quietly trying to sneak out. "Leopard."

Leopard stopped dead in his tracks.

"Arguing with a six-year-old is rather unprofessional, don't you think?"

The assassin gulped. "Yes, sir."

"Then, I don't have to tell you not to let it happen again, _do I_?"

He shook his head quickly.

"Good. You're dismissed."

At that, the ANBU disappeared and Sarutobi went back to rubbing his temples even as he stood there and stared at Naruto, who was shifting uncomfortably.

"Er, hey, there, Old Man! How's it-"

"Stop. Just...stop right there, Naruto. You know exactly how it's going."

The small boy gulped nervously. "Hehe..."

"However, I didn't call you here to punish you."

"You...didn't...?" A small gleam of hope appeared in his bright blue eyes.

"No, I didn't. First, I just wanted to ask you a question, Naru-chan."

The boy smiled widely in relief. "Sure! Ask away, Jiji!"

"Who helped you?"

Naruto blinked. "Uh..."

"There's no way you could've pulled all those pranks off by yourself, so who helped you?"

"Um, well, Ikki sort of helped me, I guess."

"You guess?"

Tiny shoulders shrugged. "He gave me the idea for the double-sided sticky tape and did the syrup in Kakashi's apartment by himself." Then, the boy smirked. "He also showed me your porn stash and helped me switch it out. There's also that _other_ one that I'm gettin' a little worried about... Well, anyway, that's it."

Hiruzen thought about his words for a moment. Obviously, everything else had been Naruto, but that would mean... "Naruto, are you telling me that you broke into ANBU again? Are you saying that it wasn't Ibiki who _let_ you in?" His top interrogator did, after all, have access.

"Yup! Didn't need his help with that at all! You'd think they'd have fixed all those security flaws I found, but nope!"

Security flaws? ANBU? "Like what?" he almost snapped.

Naruto didn't even bat an eye when he said, "For one thing, I'm small. Gates and fences? They don't work on guys like me. Maybe those are only s'pposed to keep civilians away, since they can't go up the walls like I can, but still."

The Hokage interrupted. "But those walls are covered in seals that repel all foreign chakra. You couldn't walk up them yourself, much less crawl into a window or a vent for the same reason: seals! And they're not so gentle at that point—they've been known to kill intruders! Each and every operative has his or her chakra encoded into the seals for a set amount of time. Anyone without that person's chakra signature dies!" He paused for a moment to let that sink in before he continued. "Naruto, I kid you not when I say that the ANBU headquarters is the most secure building in this nation—heck, probably the world— because of those seals, and you, a six-year-old, have broken into it _twice_ when no one else has even managed to break into it _once_!"

"Cool..."

"No, _not_ 'cool,' Naruto! It's dangerous, and I still have no idea how you did it!"

The child's jaw dropped. "You mean, you haven't figured it out yet?"

Sarutobi slapped his forehead. "Didn't I just get through saying that?"

"And no one else can do it?"

A sigh was his only response.

"Wow! I'm AWESOME! But...it was so easy..."

"What was?"

"Well, I'd just spent a few days before my _totally awesome prank_ watching the people go in and out of the building. One lady was in and out, like, five times, and I just...sorta...watched what her chakra did and made mine do the same thing. It didn't seem like a big deal..."

The Third was flabbergasted. "Are you saying that you copied her chakra signature?" He couldn't have cared less about Ibiki right then.

"Uh...yes?"

"Thoroughly enough to trick the seals created by one of the best seal masters in the history of the world?" That was _supposed_ to be impossible. Chakra signatures were like fingerprints, and though it was possible for someone to fool another person, no one had ever been quite good enough to fool those seals...until now.

"Hey, I got in, didn't I?" Naruto had crossed his arms and was pouting.

"I'm not doubting you, Naruto. I'm just..."

"Just what, Jiji?"

"You're six years old and already practically an infiltration specialist! Wasn't it just yesterday that little Kono was born? Wasn't it just last week that you were dying Kaka's hair orange? _Wasn't it?_"

Naruto just blinked. "Jiji, you ok?"

"I'm fine, Naru-chan. It's just that time passes by so quickly...and I keep getting older."

The blonde nodded. "Ikki says that time runs fastest when you're not looking. He said that when Idate moved up two classes instead of one."

Ah, yes, another one of the infamous Morino family quotes. There were rumors that some Chuunin was making a book out of them. What a waste of time. "Yes, very true, Naru-chan.. Now, for the second reason I asked you here, I WANT MY THINGS BACK. That is not negotiable. Understood?"

He gulped. "Got it, Old Man." Immediately, the child reached into a pocket on the side of his pants and pulled out a small scroll. He opened it, channeled a small amount of chakra, and let out a surprised grunt as the books and a small pouch landed in his arms.

Clearly, he still wasn't used to using those things to store items or he would've known to move out of the way.

Naruto staggered forward (his collection was rather impressive, after all) and plopped the stack on the floor next to the desk with a blinding grin. "There ya go, Old Fart!"

The Hokage's eyebrow twitched, but he knew better than to encourage the nickname. "...Right. Anyway, the third reason I called you here has nothing to do with your pranks, exactly. It's actually a...professional talk, if you will."

"Ok, shoot!"

"This will be your last year for the basics. Starting next year on October 11, you will be assigned to a squad for more intensive training."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"That will last until the ANBU Commander sees fit, after which time you will be assigned missions at my discretion."

By this point, the boy was whooping, jumping about, and throwing his fist up in the air.

Ah, yes, the news that his childhood was on its last gasp was clearly being met with dread and uncertainty. Why did he bother? Naruto was already his most dedicated ninja—and he wasn't even a Genin yet! One thing he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt was that he _had_ to keep Gai away from the Uzumaki as much as possible; only God knew how the green-clad Jounin would corrupt his favorite six-year-old if _he_ was the brat's full-time tutor.

And Naruto had come so far in the three years he'd been trained. Ibiki had taken over the physical training while Kakashi had taken over mental training. The boy could now read and write on a level one would expect of someone several years older, and he no longer slurred his words. However, things like math and science were well beyond him, and history bored him to tears (really, Kakashi had practically performed a miracle just getting the blonde where he was). A genius he was not, but his almost single-minded dedication made up for it when it came to the physical aspects of ninja life.

The only jutsu Naruto knew, of course, were the basic, academy-taught Three, plus some higher chakra-control exercises. Mostly, he just knew taijutsu very, very well for his age and size. Still, what he knew he put to incredible use.

As proven with the recent pranks, which had the ANBU Commander furious and Danzo practically breathing down his neck with reminders of "promises." The Hokage could see his old friend's point; really, he could. A child that could somehow infiltrate ANBU was clearly ready to move on to more serious matters. Apparently, making friends and having an actual life was not one of those "more serious matters."

Still, ANBU training or not, Naruto would have to mature physically for awhile longer before he could even be remotely considered effective in open combat. That might give him a year or two longer for training, and then he'd most likely be assigned simple surveillance missions (spying) and, later, hunting down low-level missing-nin. Assassinations would probably come next...unfortunately, since they were technically less risky than open combat.

Even as his favorite blonde left his office in depressingly high spirits, Sarutobi rubbed his temples again, but for a different reason this time. He could foresee three possible outcomes from Naruto's training: either the boy would burn out at a young age (as had almost happened to Kakashi), he would go insane (not ninja-crazy; _literally_ crazy) and pull an Orochimaru, or he would become great.

Really, only time would tell.

* * *

><p>Somewhere deep in one of the Genin training fields, a man woke up with a note attached to his chest...his <em>bare<em> chest.

"Hmm? What's this? 'True youth needs no adornments'?" He looked down at his naked body and blinked. "Why, what a fantastic revelation my fellow youthful friend left me this year! In thanks, I shall run one hundred—NO! ONE THOUSAND!—laps around Konoha! And if I cannot do that, I will climb a mountain with my pinky! And if I cannot do that, I will—wait...do my youthful eyes see more written on the back...? 'And remember to share the glory of your youth with as many people as possible.' Hmmm..." Gai thought for a moment. It _was_ a rather splendid idea. "Alright, then, my anonymous, youthful friend! After my one thousand laps around our beautiful village, I shall shout my youthful declarations to the world from the very top of the Hokage Tower!"

And then, he proceeded to do just that.

The village would never be the same.

* * *

><p>A.N. And so ends chapter 5. I did have a timeskip, though it didn't work out quite like I'd planned...darn it. It's practically a filler, and those are kind of annoying, but I couldn't just let poor little Naruto's childhood go by without any explanations whatsoever. Think about it: "And then, he aged" just doesn't cover it. How did he grow up? What was his life like? What role did his foster-family play? How did he develop emotionally and mentally?<p>

See what I mean? It wouldn't work. Besides, it's my story and I can filler if I want to. :)

Anyway, for those who have no interest in actually looking things up (I know I typically don't):

_The Pillow Book—_this is an actual Japanese book written somewhere between 966-1017 A.D. by Sei Shonagon. It's perhaps one of the greatest works of prose ever written, especially by a woman that early in history.

_Man'yoshu—_this is also an actual Japanese book, compiled sometime in the 700s. It's the oldest anthology of Japanese poetry in existence and is very highly revered. The poem included in this story is called "A Lament on the Evanescence of Life," written by Yamanoue no Okura.

_Black Beauty—_if you live in Europe or America and you don't know what book this is, you should feel ashamed of your level of education. You don't necessarily need to have read it, but if you can't even recognize the title, then I feel bad for you. Do a Google search.

I put these three books in there for several reasons.

1_. Black Beauty_ because it's darn funny to think that Kakashi had to replace his porn with a heartwarming horse story. It'd be like Hitler becoming enamored with the book _Little Women_. I would laugh till I peed my pants if that happened.

2. The Japanese books were put in there because it's technically a Japanese world. Sure, I'll throw a few vague Western references in there, but that's just for laughs; they don't exist in the manga and always seem out-of-place in fan stories. Think about it: how many of you have rolled your eyes at "My OC named Bob!"?

3. It was to help explain Naruto's ability to speak more clearly. Seriously, go through and read some of those poems; you'll add to your vocabulary like nobody's business. And with Kakashi training him (mentally), you bet he's further along than normal, and so is Idate. Besides, it's my story and I'll exaggerate if I want to. :)

Anyway, for the month of October, there were 420 hits and 369 visitors to the previous chapter. I'm looking for a little over 500 hits and about 450 visitors. I want that $20 lol!


	6. Behind the Shadows

I just want to go ahead and say thank you for all the wonderful reviews. They're very encouraging, and I'm glad you enjoy the story so far. Don't be afraid to slap me around in them a bit, if necessary. I can take it.

* * *

><p>Yes, this is Life; and everywhere we meet,<p>

Not victor crowns, but wailings of defeat;

Yet faint thou not, thou dost apply a test,

That shall incite thee onward, upward still,

The present can not sate or e'er thy spirit fill.

_-_from _The Unattained _by Elizabeth Oakes Smith

* * *

><p><em>July 2, 104 A.F., 10:00 a.m.<em>

It was winter again in Konoha. Snow was falling, lakes had frozen over, and everyone bundled up with whatever they could find. And, of course, it was July.

"Gah! I hate the snow!" a snow-flake covered person snapped. "Hate it, hate it, hate it!" He began to dance around as he chanted the same phrase over and over and over. It was the first time in...he honestly couldn't say how long, but it had been awhile since it had last gotten so cold. Even when he focused, all he could recall was a vague feeling of unease that he associated with the freezing temperatures. And he _hated _being afraid or uneasy. Therefore, he was dead serious when he said he hated the snow.

However, he also just plain loved annoying the teenager standing next to him. It was sort of a...pet project of his, and it was working _wonderfully_.

"As do we all," his partner snapped back, "but must you whine about it _every second of the day?_"

He paused in his dancing and chanting as he thought about that for a moment. The older boy did have a point. "You know, you're right."

"Hn."

"It is rather frustrating."

"_Hn._"

"Sometimes, complaining for so long _is_ bad for you."

"Hn!"

"Right! So I should let it out all at **once**! And so should you!"

"...Hn...?"

Naruto didn't let that deter him. "That's right, my friend! You shouldn't hold in your emotions all day any more than I should constantly express a single one! Both options are bad for your health!"

All he received in response this time was a glare.

But the younger boy would take what he could get and decided to translate it into some form of agreement. "Oh, yes! You see, you've been bottling it all up inside, poor guy. It'd probably make you feel a lot better to get it out of your system, just like going pee after drinking a gallon of water all at once! After all, it—GAK!"

The ninja who now had his hands strangling his partner's throat slammed the boy up against the village gates they'd been assigned to guard. **"**_**Be silent!**_" He abruptly let the boy go and settled back against the wall, ignoring his fellow ANBU member.

Naruto, however, rubbed his throat unconcernedly and was only able to hide his smirk thanks to his blank, white mask. He felt no sorrow and rather enjoyed the fact that he, Naruto Uzumaki, had gotten under "the prodigy" Itachi Uchiha's skin and made the little jerk finally show some form of humanity, even if it was only anger. The blonde hated that flat, unemotional stare that practically seeped from the ANBU captain. He didn't just wear a mask; he _was_ a mask! Most days, the older boy's chakra didn't even flicker with a hint of emotion, and he would know! At seven years old, Naruto was already the best sensor the village had, not that it was acknowledged publicly, as only a handful of people knew.

Presently, the Hokage, Ibiki, Kakashi, Idate, Rin, and a handful of ANBU, including Tiger and the Commander, were aware of his abilities, and he found himself very grateful for that. It allowed him to look underneath the underneath so very easily because it was difficult to hide things from him. Naruto had found he liked that; he liked knowing what people were thinking very much.

But still, this unemotional block of ice surprised him. Itachi had recently been promoted to captain, and the seven-year-old just happened to be the genius's first trainee. After he'd shown himself capable of leadership and gotten used to his role for a few months—it'd only been two and a half so far—the Commander would add on another member or two. No matter how skilled, the Uchiha was still just barely a teen and needed time to grow into his own.

So, Naruto was the black-haired teen's first teammate/partner/trainee. Needless to say, one of them was distinctly unhappy about it, and it wasn't the blonde. However, he refused to work with an emotionless, self-destructive drone,as he was well aware that it wasn't healthy for Itachi to be that way. And thus, his self-appointed mission: annoy the fire out of the Uchiha.

It was so far proving to be immensely successful. Naruto found himself snickering at the sight of the somewhat embarrassed teenager standing next to him. He could easily sense the chakra arching slightly. Spikes, he'd learned through experience, indicated things like sharp or quick emotions. Arches were more subtle, longer-lasting, and typically represented emotions that were less intense. It meant that Itachi was embarrassed, but not quite enough to suit the seven-year-old.

Time to up the ante.

Naruto kept snickering.

"Shut up," Itachi growled through a clenched jaw.

But the blonde wasn't fooled. "You feel better now, don't you, 'Tachi-chan?" he teased. Really, any other ANBU member would've shut up before that point. Angering captains was highly inadvisable, after all. But Naruto had long since learned the art of B.S. and its ninja offshoot, the Puppy-dog Eyes jutsu.

The very powerful Uchiha's hands tightened considerably, but he couldn't deny what the blonde boy—his partner—had said. "I'd feel _even _better if you let me strangle you a little longer."

"Eh. Maybe later." And maybe he should tread just a _little_ more lightly if his, well, boss was already giving death threats.

The captain ground his teeth rather audibly. "I find myself eternally grateful that my brother's not like this."

"Not like what?" Naruto noticed a very slight spike of chakra and blinked in confusion for a moment at the emotion that particular one represented: fear. _'That's odd, but...it's not the first time that's happened. Why?'_ It had been going on for several weeks, in fact, and it always seemed to resolve around the thirteen-year-old's family. _'Why?'_ Naruto asked himself again. He had yet to find a reason and it was driving him nuts!

Itachi snorted. "Annoying like you. Now, be silent. This is a mission, Trainee Uzumaki."

Naruto rolled his eyes and promptly forgot about the spike he'd felt. Just like that, Itachi's emotionless facade was back up. "Sure thing, Captain Bastard," he muttered. Oooh, how he hated that deep, arrogant voice the young teen had! It was so wrong! Sure, _he_ was only seven, but still, why did his have to be so...squeaky in comparison?

Then, the blonde Uzumaki thought about it for a moment and realized something Perhaps the question wasn't why his voice was squeaky but why Itachi's voice _wasn't._ After all, shouldn't his captain have been going through puberty? Naruto wondered...

"Hey, 'Tachi-chan?"

The older male sighed. "What," he deadpanned.

"Do you take steroids?"

* * *

><p><em>12:20 p.m.<em>

Sarutobi swirled water around in a glass as he read over the reports his ANBU Commander had sent him. The information in them was making him rather uncomfortable. For several months after the Kyuubi attack, he'd stationed ANBU teams nearby the Uchiha in order to keep a close eye on that clan. That had been his first mistake. After finding nothing amiss, he'd eventually dropped most of the surveillance. That had been his second mistake.

The facts didn't lie. An Uchiha had been controlling the Kyuubi that night; they'd all seen its eyes and the same thing had already happened once before, so there was no point in denying it. Had the Uchiha been a missing-nin? Not likely, as all were supposed to be accounted for, but it was a possibility nonetheless. However, even if it had been an enemy, that would not have obliterated the second cold, hard fact: only a very few had even known of Kushina's jinchuuriki status, let alone the fact that she'd been so close to giving birth, and Mikoto Uchiha had been one of them.

The fact that her clan was now planning a coup made her the prime suspect.

Only one thing was saving them all from being killed: Danzo had also known. And it was _Danzo_ who had contacts in foreign lands and was already suspected of high treason in multiple areas. If he'd had any hard evidence, Sarutobi would _definitely_ have had his head on a pike by now. Without it, however, there was little he could do. He couldn't even take ROOT completely away from him for the simple fact that they still needed the shadowy organization to keep their enemies as few as possible. Besides that, the Fire Daimyo liked the cripple, though only the heavens knew why.

All things considered, politically, economically, militarily, and realistically, Danzo was yet untouchable. But as soon as the village had built up enough strength, his old rival would lose his ROOT program and perhaps even his head, if he could get just a little bit of evidence.

The Hokage sighed in irritation. He never should have made those concessions all those years ago.

"_Hiruzen, I've got a new training program I'd like to try. Just give me six months with your worst three Genin and I guarantee they'll improve three-fold when I'm through with them!"_

And they'd improved drastically, alright, just as Danzo had promised. And they'd even shown none of the brainwashing of his later trainees. No, the lack of emotions had come later, after his old rival had lost his son and started losing his mind slowly but surely as a result. By then, it had been too late; he'd already given Danzo his own ANBU division to train and even send on missions as he saw fit. ROOT always had answered to him and him alone.

At the time, the young Hokage had felt he'd owed it to his friend for taking his dream of being the Third Fire Shadow. They were mostly equal in terms of power even now, and it just hadn't seemed right. Besides, the reasoning had been that Danzo was completely loyal to the village, so what harm could possibly come of it? As it turned out, the answer was "quite a lot." It might very well have been the Third's most foolish mistake of his entire career. In a military, there should never be more than _one_ supreme commander. Sarutobi's mistake...had it already come back to bite him?

Or would it be his mistake of trusting the Uchiha that would destroy them all? The Third got the very uncomfortable feeling that he would find out very soon one way or another.

* * *

><p><em>July 8, 3:16<em>

Kakashi sighed and wiped the sweat from his brow. He was tired, very tired, and with good reason. Ever since Naruto had first come into his life as a toddler, he'd come to realize that he'd been relying on Obito's eye far too much. The training his sensei had beaten into his head as a child had been abandoned as he, the legendary Copy-nin, had let his skills get rusty.

The porn addiction probably hadn't helped, either.

So, there he was, in the middle of "winter," working on his fire jutsu. Practically everyone in the Hidden Leaf Village could use at least one fire attack, but not many had the control to sustain or properly power the techniques. Kakashi did, however, and had decided to take it a step further: shape manipulation.

When he'd created Chidori, he'd had in mind two things. Number one was power. The second was speed. He had wanted a fast and deadly attack—wish granted—but if there was one thing his brilliant mind hadn't counted on, it was the fact that it was _so loud._ It was an assassination jutsu in the sense that it was a one-hit kill. However, how the heck was he supposed to sneak up on anyone with a jutsu that practically shrieked its existence to the world? To be fair, he wasn't the only assassin with such a problem; noiseless techniques were pretty rare, and those that did exist were typically much weaker, anyway.

Kakashi wasn't giving up, though, just because so many others had failed. If Naruto had taught him anything, it was that it paid to be stubborn. Besides, he wasn't building a move from scratch. No, the last Hatake figured he could simply...recreate it using a quieter element.

First up had been water; it was, after all, _the_ element most commonly used for stealth. But a problem presented itself almost immediately. Water _flowed._ He needed something that could pierce, and he doubted it could ever be made sharp or sturdy enough. The element was just too flexible. In the end, Kakashi had not recreated the Chidori, although his newly-formed Water Whip was pretty impressive.

Next, he'd tried earth. Dirt was pretty quiet, not to mention easy to mold. Out of all the elements, in fact, more things could be made from the earth element than anything else. Kakashi figured he might as well try it and...got a crude spear made out of compacted ground. Useful? Yes. What he was looking for? No.

Since the Jounin couldn't use wind-based jutsu, his last hope was fire. But that element was _notoriously_ hard to control. It was the reason most people just stayed with giant fireballs and streams of flame; "aim and shoot" was about all the element was good for. But still, Kakashi persisted. Surely, he could salvage _something_ out of his old Chidori.

So far, he'd been getting what amounted to a hand-held torch of sorts. Kakashi wasn't disappointed, though, since most fire jutsu required the user to breathe out the flames and he was literally holding them. Also, he had yet to see if it could pierce, like it was meant to. He'd have to get right to that.

But first...he was pooped.

Time for an _Icha Icha_ break!

And just as he sat down against a tree with very little snow under it and pulled out his trusty reading material, an old friend decided to pop up.

A set of green spandex-covered legs with orange legwarmers came into view right on the edge of his vision. "Kakashi! My Eternal Rival! How goes this fine day for you?"

He sighed and hung his head dejectedly. He hadn't even read the first paragraph... "Hey, Gai. Day was going just fine."

Gai struck a pose and the sunlight glinted off his impossibly white teeth. "That is wonderful, Eternal Rival! And do I detect a bit of glorious, glistening sweat on your forehead?"

Kakashi wanted to cry. "Yes, Gai. I was training-"

"TRAINING! My youthful Rival, how could you train and not invite _me_? Are we not bosom buddies?"

_That_ sent a massive shiver up Kakashi's spine. "Uh, Gai, please don't ever say that about me again. I'm your friend, but we are not 'bosom' anything." He shuddered. "Geez, do you go out of your way to sound like a homosexual...?"

Gai blinked. "Uh...I am afraid I do not understand you, my Eternal Rival. But perhaps you could make up for your oversight by showing me how you have improved, and then I can show you the new taijutsu style I have been studying!"

"...I'm taking a break right now. How about we have a competition to see who can be quietest longest?"

His friend's eyes brightened. "What a youthful idea! I will be silent for thirty minutes! And if I cannot do that, I will-"

"Starting now!" Kakashi hurriedly interrupted.

Gai was immediately silent and sat down next to the Copy-nin and stared at him for the next half hour with a gigantic, eye-searing grin splitting his face the entire time. It seriously freaked out the slightly more normal Jounin, who did his best to ignore it and concentrate on his smut. Soon, he found himself coming up to his favorite part in the book—the scene after Junko found out his lover was a spy. Kakashi found himself squealing in glee as he read.

"_Oh, Junko," she moaned as he gently stroked her face, "I-"_

"_Shh, my love."_

Gai shifted and coughed. The Copy-nin twitched.

"_If it is only to be for tonight, I want you to know that-"_

"_No, this is for tonight and the rest of your life. Until death separates us, I am yours and you are mine," he told her softly. He loved her, even though he knew her to be a traitor and that she would not wake in the morning. This would be their last—in fact, their only night together. It was the only gift he could give her, and it was no small thing for a man to give his heart and break it in the same moment._

"Ahem."

"What," he deadpanned. He wasn't finished with the scene yet! Just a little longer...!

"It has been thirty minutes, my Eternal Rival."

"So?"

"It is time to show each other how our youth has increased! The day is still young! The sun is still bright! My friend, how can you spend such a wondrous day doing nothing?"

"...Been working since 4:00 a.m. without breakfast." He paused. "And I'm reading. I'm...feeding my mind," Kakashi replied vaguely. He was just about to get to the best part of the story, and no spandex-wearing, ADHD poster boy was going to distract him!

And then, Gai did the one thing that could always make Kakashi break down—and not in a good way. It was the Puppy Dog Eyes.

"Gai...no, don't! S-stop it! You're scaring me! GAI!"

The taijutsu specialist's bottom lip quivered and moisture gathered at the corners of his eyes, making them glittler and thoroughly creep out his fellow Jounin. "But, Eternal Rival! You gave me your Sacred Word!"

"Hey! I did no such thing and you know it!" He was panicking now. That face-! It always made him shudder.

"Yes, you did! Years ago, you swore that you would always see our contests through to the end no matter what they were!"

_'Oh, no...he's bringing _that _up? Why meeeeeee?'_ Seeing no way out of it, Kakashi finally, reluctantly, said, "Okaaaaay. Just stop with the face, please!"

Suddenly, Gai grinned (partially blinding his friend in the process) and stood, dragging the reluctant reader to his feet at the same time. "Right! You show me yours first, and then I shall show you mine!"

"...Are you sure you're not gay?"

Gai's smile never left his face as he simply replied, "Yes!"

Kakashi mumbled a few choice phrases before he put his precious literature back in his bag. "Alright, I suppose I can show you these, since they're pretty much impossible for even me to copy, anyway—not that you'd try. For several months, I've been trying to recreate the Chidori. As anyone who's seen and heard it can tell you, it's a great jutsu, but it definitely has its flaws."

The green-clothed man nodded in understanding.

"So, I thought I'd try it out with a different element to see if I could make the darn thing quieter so it'd be a real assassination jutsu. I wasn't _exactly_ successful, but...well, just watch."

Kakashi held his right hand out and focused until he'd managed to draw enough water out of the air to form a ball a little bit larger than his palm. With his left hand, he quickly formed a single seal meant to do only one thing: help him concentrate. Within a few seconds, the ball of water began to lengthen and draped over his wrist like a limp rope until it was four feet long.

Gai stared at the thin line of water in a mixture of confusion and awe. "Er, that is impressive, Eternal Rival, but what does it do?"

"This!" Kakashi snapped his wrist and deftly flicked it toward Gai, who suddenly found himself short one orange legwarmer.

The Green Beast stared at his ankle for a full ten seconds before looking back up at the Copy-nin and proclaiming, "What a youthful technique, Eternal Rival! And you say this is Chidori's replacement?"

"Thanks, Gai, but no. This doesn't have the stabbing power necessary to replace Chidori. It's a jutsu all on its own, and I doubt I'll use it much, besides."

"Oh? And why is that, my friend?"

"It's sort of...girly to have a whip. It...clashes with my manly youthfulness," he said, trying to state it in a way his friend would understand. But that didn't stop him from cringing and wanting to barf at his own words.

"Ah, I see, Eternal Rival! You worry for your reputation with the ladies! But fear not! For I have heard that some enjoy being whipped!"

_'Dear God, I did NOT need to hear that!'_ "MOVING ON! When that failed, I decided to try using earth instead of water. I got a useful technique out of it, but it's still not what I was looking for."

Kakashi knelt and placed both hands on the ground, one on top of the other. When he pulled them back up, his right hand was clutching a long, dirt-colored rod with a sharp point on one end.

Gai's eyebrows rose in surprise. "You...created a weapon out of naught but dirt! What a fantastic jutsu, Kakashi!"

"Yeah, I guess, but a spear's all I can make so far. Maybe if I work with the shape manipulation a bit more, I can come up with something more complicated, but this is all I've got right now."

"But that is fantastic! If you can do that, then you will never be short of weapons so long as you have chakra!"

"And that's the problem; I need my chakra for other things. It'll be useful only in emergencies because I'll have no need for it, otherwise. Just like the Water Whip, I don't think I'll be using this much..."

"Why? It seems to be an appropriate assassination technique."

"Hmm?"

"It is very quiet and creates a useable weapon that you can dissolve as soon as its job is over. There will be nothing to trace, except a pile of bloody dirt. Perhaps it is not something you will use in battle, but it was not intended for that in the first place. It is silent, convenient, and untraceable; what else is necessary for an assassin?"

Kakashi's one visible eye went wide. Gai had a point there. It was pretty convenient when seen from that perspective. But still, couldn't a kunai or any other weapon do the job just as well, if that were the case? He thought about it and realized that no, it wouldn't. Dogs and various hunter-nin would be able to track his scent if he kept a weapon with the target's blood on it, or even if he left it behind. An untraceable weapon was hard to come by and highly sought after for those reasons alone.

Also, most jutsu tended to leave a trace, typically in the form of what shape the wound took. Almost anyone who had ever seen Kakashi use Chidori knew that a giant, charred hole in the victim's flesh meant he'd been there.

Perhaps this new jutsu (which he hadn't even named yet) just might come in handy, after all. He'd need to field-test it to be sure.

"You have a point there, Gai. I didn't think of that, but I'm thinking the fire jutsu I came up with may be even better. It hasn't been tested or anything, so I don't know for sure, but...well, you'll see."

With that, Kakashi began manipulating the chakra in his hand to interact with and ignite the air around it. In order to do so, he literally had to imagine his chakra burning up the air around it—something that was not only difficult but considered next to impossible. Still, it was the only way to get that particular element without breathing it out, since imagining oneself breathing fire was considerably easier than imagining the air itself combusting. The limitations literally lay within each shinobi's mind, something that very few could overcome. And yet, he could and had done it.

When the fire around his hand was strong enough (and hot enough! Ouch!), he began to shape it as slowly and gently as he could without losing the flame entirely. After all, he had to make sure he brought in enough oxygen to keep it alive the whole time. Kakashi was brilliant, but even his mind had trouble concentrating on so many different things at once. The upside was the fact that, once he'd gotten to a certain point, it would be all but self-sustaining.

It took a grand total of five seconds—an eternity in shinobi battles—until he finally had his white-hot spike of flame. He chose a random tree and fiercely charged it, jutsu in hand. "Haa!" he cried as his hand slammed into its trunk and his technique hit home. To the Copy-nin's surprise and joy, the flame had gone in easily and was still active. But as he pulled his hand away, he saw that, while it could be considered an assassination technique, it would be precision-based if anything.

The Chidori was a one-hit kill for a very good reason: even a giant of a man could not easily recover from a foot-wide hole being blasted into his body. This...Flame Spike (he'd have to change the name later; it was so lame!) left a hole approximately three inches wide. It would work, of course, since three-inch holes were nothing to sneeze at, but he wisely decided to train with it for awhile before using it on a mission.

Actually, the fact that it was less destructive might even be a good thing. It'd leave a little less to clean up. Kakashi might be a killer, but he at least tried to be considerate when possible. All things considered, he was very pleased with his technique.

And then, Gai spoke. "What an excellent jutsu, my friend! It is completely silent and powerful! But it takes so long to prepare...training would help, of course. And the light it casts would make it difficult to hide in dark places, much like Chidori...still, Eternal Rival, I believe you have accomplished your personal challenge and created a silent sister to your prized technique! I am proud of you, my youthful friend!"

Kakashi found himself smiling behind his mask "Maybe, but it'll never amount to the Raikiri. Still...yeah, I guess I did." He found himself content with that for the moment and figured he could take a much-needed vacation now.

But fate (which was clad in spandex at that moment) intervened. "Excellent, my Rival! Now, it is my turn to show you my new technique!"

He groaned. Every time the eccentric Jounin had a new attack to show him, he always insisted on a participant. That meant pain. Kakashi didn't like pain. He liked _reading_. He liked _relaxing_. He liked them both _combined_, and preferably not while lying in a hospital after training with Gai.

"Come! Arise, Eternal Rival! I must show you my youth!"

So, said Eternal Rival subsequently found himself being thrown into the air, tied up like a mummy, and then almost slammed headfirst into the ground. Gai had graciously stopped his descent before breaking his best friend's neck. Kakashi was very grateful, but he had some suggestions to make.

"Er, very...terrifying, Gai."

"Thank you!"

"But how about adding a spin to it? It'd add a lot more force to the fall."

Gai's eyes widened. "That is an excellent idea, my friend! I knew you were the right one to come to for advice on the matter! I shall go and practice at once! Then, I shall return once I have it mastered!"

"...That's nice, Gai, but I actually have a mission I'm scheduled to leave for tomorrow morning. I need to rest for awhile." He hadn't been kidding when he'd called the move terrifying. The famed Jounin had almost wet his pants! And he really did have a mission; it was only a B-rank, but it'd be nice to have all his parts still working when he left for it. In fact...why hadn't he thought of using that as an excuse before?

"Ah! So, you were honing your skills for a super-dangerous mission! What a wonderful idea!"

"Yeah, sure. Uh, how about you go and get yourself one so that you can train for it, too? Say...how about a mission that lasts a month or two?" Kakashi's would only last a couple of days; however, he could use the break from green spandex nightmares. Just to increase the odds of it happening, he added, "You know, to increase your...youthfulness."

That did it. Moments later, the decidedly odd Jounin was running off towards the village, proclaiming something about running one hundred laps on his pinkies. He might also have mentioned something about being nude, but surely not! After last year's fiasco, there was no way that even Gai would pull a stunt like that twice in a row.

...Right?

He rubbed his forehead tiredly. Maybe it would be better if he stopped thinking about it.

.

.

.

_July 9, 5:00 a.m._

Kakashi groaned as he sat up in bed. Like many soldiers, he needed no alarm clock. He simply told his body when to wake up and he was up right on time every time. Sometimes, though, the Copy-nin would've loved to oversleep. It'd be a good and—for once—honest excuse for being late.

But it never happened. So, he dragged himself out of bed and reached for his mask first thing. It wouldn't do to forget _that._ No one had seen his face since age five, and he wanted to keep it that way. Hatake tradition had a part to play in it, but more than anything, it simply helped hide his emotions.

Once he was finished getting dressed, wrinkled Jounin pants and all, he headed into his kitchen. Along the way, he made sure to watch where he was going. Never again would he make _that_ mistake, October 10 or not. However, he did so without flipping on his lights. It wasn't necessary; the Hatake clan, while it wasn't considered a bloodline, did have the peculiar ability to see in the dark far better than most people.

Rumor had it that there was some Hyuuga in his family's veins, but Kakashi seriously doubted it, as there wasn't one scrap of evidence to support the claim. Of course, that hadn't stopped the Hyuuga leader of one hundred and five years ago from trying to put the curse seal on one of their men. Interestingly enough, the subsequent death of that leader...along with half his clan in the feud that had followed...was what had prompted them to seek asylum in the newly-built Konohagakure. The Hatake had joined a generation later, and no one had dared to touch them since.

...until Naruto, but the less said about that, the better.

Kakashi cooked himself a little bit of rice and steamed some seaweed and fish. Despite the cookbooks he'd read, he still wasn't great at cooking, but this he could pull off. He wrapped the seaweed around most of the rice and packed the small balls into a container for lunch, tossed the fish and the rest of the rice onto a plate, and grabbed some soy sauce. It wasn't fancy, but it was food.

After spending his usual hour (or two) at the Memorial Stone, he headed out the gate with his pack and a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Rin was also leaving on a mission later that day. It was her first A-rank since Konohamaru's birth, and even though she was going purely as support for her team, it still made the Jounin nervous and jumpy. She'd been a target since the Third War simply for being a student of the Fourth and teammate of the legendary Copy-nin.

However, the Third had managed to conceal her for several years, so it was also likely that no one would recognize her immediately. It was her distinctive tattoos that could expose her. There were none others like them in the world, even among the Inuzuka. Rin had had them ever since anyone could remember and still wasn't sure where they'd come from or their meaning. Being an orphan with no memory of her parents, she had no one to ask. Thankfully, she'd learned the value of using makeup ever since returning to duty.

The whole thing still made Kakashi very uneasy. If he could, he'd take his only living teammate and put her in bubble wrap for the rest of her life. He'd gladly marry her right then and there if it meant keeping her away from all sharp and pointy objects, but they both knew that was still a long ways away. While Rin's feelings were at last reciprocated, they'd agreed that they were still too young and the feelings too intense to allow their jobs to get in the way.

So, they carefully kept in contact even as they kept their distance, and not once had they ever gone beyond a simple kiss on the cheek.

But maybe it was time for that to change. They were both adults now, so perhaps moving beyond simple friendship would be alright. It'd have to wait for the end of both their missions, of course, so, with that in mind, Kakashi took a leap into the thick, icy trees to begin his journey...and quickly fell off when a shout surprised him.

"Kaka!"

"Whoa!"

THUD.

"Er...Kaka? You ok?"

The Jounin groaned. "Y-yeah, Naruto. I'm ok."

"Oh, good!"

"What'd you want?"

"Um...just wanted to say hi...Hi!"

Kakashi growled under his breath. "Hi." He stood, checked to see if anything happened to be broken—there wasn't—and turned to glare at his sort-of student. "Now, if you don't mind, I've got a mission. Bye." He prepared to leap back into the trees, but a small voice stopped him.

"But..."

"But what?" Kakashi had to sigh. The boy, while far more talkative than he'd been at age two, was still hesitant to discuss anything that was bothering him.

"I-it's my teammate."

"What about him?"

"Well, he's...been acting strange lately."

The genius of the Uchiha clan was being odd? Kakashi couldn't tell whether that was a good thing or not. "Strange in what ways?"

"Itachi's always been kinda numb—like the guy with all the bandaids, ya know?—but his chakra's gotten really scared lately. I mean, it's still numb most of the time, but it's like he's _making_ it that way, not like he's just following training. Most people probably wouldn't even notice the little spikes; _I_ wouldn't have noticed, except Itachi's my partner and I understand him a little and it's not right because he's never been like that before and it's scaring me a little and I don't know whom else I can talk to about this except you and Ikki but Ikki will have him examined so I can't do that and I'm worried he's going crazy and-"

"Whoa, whoa! Slow down, Naruto. One thing at a time. You said he's scared?"

Naruto nodded.

"Do you know why or what he's afraid of?"

The boy's face scrunched up for a moment. "I dunno. The first time I noticed it was about a few weeks ago. It was just with little things, ya know? I thought it was just stress. But the other day, it started getting worse."

"Do you remember what happened that day? Can you think of what might have made it worse?"

"Uh, yeah, sorta. It was pretty cold, like it is now, and Itachi and I were watching the gate—the one behind us, actually. I...think I said something that ticked him off..." Naruto drifted off in thought for a few seconds before continuing. "Oh! I remember! He grabbed me by my neck and started strangling me!" he concluded with a smile.

Kakashi's hands tightened. "He did, did he?" He'd have to have a little _talk_ with Itachi.

"Yup! It's one of my best breakthroughs yet! Do you have any idea just how irritating it is to talk to a rock all day?" The blonde shook his head. "He stands there like a statue and doesn't move the whole time. I saw a bird poop on his head once and Itachi didn't even blink! Seriously!"

Kakashi noted that as being typical Uchiha behavior and brushed it off. "Ok, ok, so he was strangling you. What else happened?"

"He said something, something that made his chakra spike a lot more than usual—well, a lot for _him, _anyway. I-I think he mentioned his brother..."

"His brother, hmm? Odd...didn't even know he has one."

"Yeah, I think his name's Sasuke."

Kakashi felt his head jerk slightly at that. The name of his now-dead friend still caused him to flinch even now, especially since the repercussions were still being felt by those who were left behind. Asuma still hadn't returned; he'd gotten an indefinite extension on his contract, probably in some immature effort to make his father feel bad. He probably still had no idea Satomi was dead, much less that he had a young nephew in the village. If only Sasuke Sarutobi hadn't died...! But this wasn't the Hokage's dead son. This was Itachi's living brother. The Copy-nin sighed slightly and brought himself back to the present. "Sasuke, huh? What about him?"

Naruto shrugged. "Beats me. He just mentioned him."

"So...Itachi Uchiha's scared of—no, that doesn't make sense. He must be scared _for_ his brother. I wonder why..." The Jounin thought for a minute. _'Considering his training, the fact that there's any emotion coming from him at all hints at a big problem, but what? Danzo was his instructor for two years, and he's not known for letting people go easily. Is he pulling strings from the shadows...again?'_ "Naruto," he said out loud, "I have to complete a mission, but I'll be back in a few days. Until then, I want you to keep an eye on Itachi. Use your sensor abilities to track him and anyone with whom he comes into contact, and do it from a distance so you don't get caught. When I come back, tell me what you've found out and we'll go from there. Don't tell anyone else until then unless lives are immediately at stake, and then only tell Ibiki. He'll know what to do if I'm not around, ok?"

Naruto nodded reluctantly. Kakashi could tell he didn't like it but would listen to his instructions, anyway. Then, they hugged—a rarity for the last Namikaze these days, as the young child was beginning to see it as "unmanly" or something of that nature—and the Jounin hopped into the trees and to his mission.

The only thought on his mind as he sped away was, _'I wonder if this will be a good chance to try out __one of those new jutsu...'_

* * *

><p>Naruto watched as his brother left before heading to the training grounds. It was early, and he still had to meet Itachi for training. With any luck, they'd be getting a new teammate pretty soon, so there was that to prepare for. Plus, his captain always insisted on him learning something new every time they met up. It was very likely they'd have a long day.<p>

And they did. Naruto learned a new stance involving tonfa, of all things. The style kind of suited him, since he was generally a close-range fighter, but he still preferred fists over using his arms. Perhaps they'd grow on him...

But as he left the training field later that night—about an hour later than Itachi, as he'd wanted to get some extra practice in— Naruto couldn't help but remember the strain his trainer had been under the whole time, and it worried him more than ever. He hadn't been kidding about Itachi. Any sign of emotion the human statue made had to be taken seriously, in his mind, especially if it involved the teen's clan. _'His folks, huh? Yeah...I definitely have to check this out! I wonder where Itachi's at right now...'_ He headed home to prepare for his spying session.

_._

_._

_.  
><em>

_6:00 p.m._

Once he'd locked himself inside the bathroom, he allowed his eyes to stop focusing for a brief moment while he concentrated on the chakra around him, and the world turned an indistinct black-and-grey blob with various blue flames with figures in their center dotting the landscape.

His brother, Idate, was in their shared room and doing something...suspicious. Though Naruto couldn't see what it was, exactly (he wasn't a Hyuuga, after all!), he did note the fear-excitement revving up Idate's energy in random, trembling spikes. _'He's probably reading Icha Icha. Kaka's gonna be ticked that he swiped it again...'_

Just outside the small cabin, he could sense two powerful ninja, probably their assigned ANBU guards, one of whom typically followed him around everywhere he went. One was hiding within a tree trunk—literally—while the other was sitting on the roof. If Naruto focused really, really hard, sometimes he could make out their masks, since they were a stark white and stood out against the darker world around them; why, he didn't know, as only chakra was supposed to stand out. But doing that all the time required an attention span he just plain didn't have. It was much easier to focus on their real faces, since the blue-colored energy flowed through every pore of the human body. Naruto could literally tell that the ANBU sitting on the roof had shaved his legs that morning, just as most in the black ops did to cut down on air resistance while running, jumping, and killing. No ninja outside of the elite bothered, however. The blonde often found it amusing that Rin's legs were almost always harrier than Ibiki's.

But he had other things to focus on at that moment, so he turned his attention away from the two guards and started gradually pushing his "sight" outwards, towards the other side of the village, where he knew the majority of the Uchiha stayed. The first thing he noticed was that something was off—_very_ off.

With a gasp, Naruto stopped focusing on chakra and blinked, immediately coming back to the real world with a jolt of terror lacing his blood. He jumped down off the counter, jerked open the bathroom door, and raced out of the cabin so fast that he plumb forgot his shoes. _'Itachi...what have you done?'_

And, oh, was Kakashi going to kill him when he came back from his mission! But there just wasn't time to tell Ibiki! And his ANBU guard was tailing him, anyway, so he'd be ok, right? He peeked over his shoulder just to make sure and saw the cat-masked Tenzou leaping through the trees behind him as they entered the village. "Hey, Mr. ANBU!" he called out as he raced towards his captain.

The ANBU didn't answer, of course, though he did speed up and land on the roof beside him.

"You're probably wondering why I ran out of the house like that, right?"

"..."

"Well..." he began as he flew over an alley, "just be prepared for a bit of a fight."

At this, the silent ninja finally spoke. "What, exactly, do you intend to attack?"

Naruto sniffed as he leapt down from the final building and began racing towards the Uchiha compound. "Attack? Nothing. Protect?" They passed the gates and the smell of blood hit both of their noses. "Anyone who's still alive," he said grimly.

He sensed Tenzou's shock and horror, but all the teenager did was nod his head and pass the blonde by in a burst of effort to find and eliminate the attacker, whomever it turned out to be.

Naruto waited until the ANBU was a few meters in front of him before bringing his hands together in a cross-shaped seal that Itachi himself had taught him just a few days earlier (after calmly informing the Sandaime that the regular clone was useless and that the Uzumaki had more than enough chakra for the Shadow Clones) and created five corporeal bodies. They ran off, already knowing what was expected of them.

He just continued straight, as he was able to sense the other attacker and knew he had to act quickly—not to beat him, of course, but to distract the living daylights out of him. However, Itachi he'd leave to Tenzou, because no one could disrupt plans like Naruto.

_'One...two...three...there! The fifth house on the right! That's where he is...'_ And where he was about to kill someone very small, probably a child. _'What kinda sicko is he?'_ Naruto abruptly stopped in front of the house and screamed, "AHHHH! HE'S NAKED!" and smirked as he "saw" the figure in the house stop the descent of his kunai.

It was exactly the opening he'd been looking for, and one of his clones, having already transformed, quickly Replaced itself with the child. Another clone standing by snatched him up and ran like the wind for the Hokage Tower. Not surprisingly, the enemy didn't notice the chakra being used; after all, that was the real beauty of the basics—they were notoriously difficult to pinpoint because it took so little energy to perform them.

The figure shrugged and turned back to the Uchiha toddler before him as he once again raised his knife. He brought it down and grinned maliciously as it entered the tiny body and-

POP!

Naruto, having hidden himself in the ground (he'd conned Kakashi out of it in exchange for prank immunity for his eighth birthday), snickered at the "sight" of shock on the man's face just before he began abruptly turning around in circles as he looked for the missing child in confusion. Anger quickly took over the shock, however, and the kunai left his hand in a fit of childish rage and flew through the front door and all the way across the street to a small store that had once sold fresh fruits and vegetables. It landed smack dab in the middle of a juicy, ripe tomato.

The blonde seven-year-old found himself holding back a chuckle.

And then, something prickled his senses. Someone was walking into the Uchiha compound.

For the first time in a long time, fear paralyzed Naruto, but only for a moment, because he was moving underground in the next. It only took him a few seconds to reach and drag the unsuspecting Uchiha underground with him, and only a moment after that to knock him unconscious. After that, he hurried away from the compound and found a nice, comfy dumpster in an alley for the boy to sleep in while he and Tenzou finished business.

He began running back towards the compound and staggered suddenly as another dispatched clone's memories came back to him. Apparently, the enemy Naruto had interrupted had high-tailed it out of there in the belief that he had been set up. "Itachi...you'll pay for this betrayal," the man had muttered before disappearing.

So, the only one left to deal with was his captain. Naruto wasn't stupid; he knew Tenzou would only be able to hold his own for so long, meaning he'd need backup. Maybe he'd even get to play that prank he'd been saving up on Itachi. No way would the emotionally-stunted man be able to keep a straight face! And then...it'd be time to say good-bye.

He found Itachi in what appeared to be a training dojo of some kind. Two bodies were behind him and Tenzou was being held by the throat. The moment the Uchiha saw him, he tossed the ANBU to the side (Naruto noted with relief that his guard was still breathing) and stared blankly.

"Naruto."

"'Tachi."

"What are you doing here?"

"Stopping you."

Itachi's eyes narrowed and his chakra spiked ever so slightly. "Do you have any idea how foolish you are?"

Naruto shrugged. "I'm sure you'll tell me. You wouldn't be a good captain if you didn't."

He huffed lightly. "I could kill you in a mere moment. It would be...easy."

The blonde felt the hair on the back of his neck stand straight up. That last word had been spoken behind him! He turned his head a tiny bit and saw a kunai at his neck and a hand (with black fingernail polish, no less) holding it. Then, he focused his blue eyes back on the Itachi in front of him, only to see him no longer there.

How had Itachi done that without him—a highly-trained sensor!-knowing about it? A Replacement? No, there was nothing behind him to Replace with. It had to be the Body Flicker. It was a B-ranked move specifically for the high chakra control required, but if done correctly, it was almost completely undetectable (Naruto made a note to _learn it as fast as possible!)_. Kakashi had scared him half-to-death at least a dozen times with his use of it. But even the Copy-nin couldn't do it _that_ flawlessly!

"Whoa...you really have been taking steroids, eh, 'Tachi-chan?"

Itachi didn't even blink. "They were going to try to kill him, you know."

"Who?"

"The Sandaime."

"W-what?"

"Not that they would have succeeded, but it would have been so...inconvenient." With that, the blade at his throat vanished and Itachi appeared before him once again.

"You...you killed your own family because they were 'inconvenient'?"

Itachi didn't answer and just stared.

"What about your brother? Were you gonna kill him, too? _Were you!"_

"No. He will be...the redemption of this clan."

Naruto just blinked. What in the world was his _obviously insane_ captain talking about?

"Will you watch over him?"

"HUH? Dude, you just went from killin' your relatives to askin' me to-"

"Will you protect him and train him as I have trained you these last two months? Teach him what it means to be a shinobi, what it means for a ninja to have honor, and even how to feel joy...please."

The seven-year-old was shaken to the bone. This wasn't right. Something was so very wrong about the entire situation, but his brain wasn't nearly focused enough to get it. "Wh-what's going on, Itachi?"

"You are a strange one, Naruto. There are enemies within and without, but you are always at peace. Did you know that?"

"I don't understand...what is it you want from me?"

Then, the Uchiha smiled, and though it was somewhat garish because of the blood splatter all over his clothes, it made the young Uzumaki's mouth gape. "For him to be like you," he whispered. And then, he vanished in a swirl of black crows.

As a dozen ANBU began landing around him, Naruto's mind was stuck on one thing and one thing only: nothing was as it seemed. Nothing.

.

.

.

In the end, thanks to his interference, twenty Uchihas had survived. All of them were children under the age of three, except for Sasuke. Apparently, the stranger Naruto had interrupted had been saving the infants for last. Evidence proved that Itachi had, at the very least, had nothing to do with their deaths.

The dead adults were another story. The differences in weapons used, the height of the attackers, and even the wounds themselves all pointed to two distinct killers. One had been quick, clean, and methodical while the other had been nothing short of vicious. It made Naruto shudder just thinking about it.

After he'd sent his clones out, one had gone to gather ANBU, others had rushed to help survivors, and the last one had taken the toddler straight to the Hokage, who, at that moment, had been in an apparently important meeting with three rather old-looking people.

The meeting had quickly descended into chaos, with the Third screaming at the three before him. Naruto had quickly figured out exactly what Itachi had been referring to and how unsanctioned the whole thing truly was. The man imitating a mummy had been demoted on the spot while the other two would be "dealt with later." It was debatable whether or not Hiruzen had been referring to execution, and that possibility left Homura and Koharu shaken as they left his office.

After getting _that_ memory, the real Naruto had promptly thrown up, but that had happened long after Itachi had left.

Now, he was sitting outside the Hokage's office as he waited to give his official report to the man he saw as his grandfather. It wasn't even 10:00 p.m. and the blonde was afraid of just what else could possibly go wrong.

And then, Ibiki showed up.

His fears were so far proving to be well-founded...

* * *

><p>Author's Corner:<p>

First of all, if you don't know what the initials B.S. stand for, then congratulations. You are one of the few in this world that has not come across such vulgar language, which I personally hate using and reading. Use a search engine if you're curious about what it means. Speaking of that, I actually once read a review (in a different story) that criticized an author for not explaining what "p.o.'ed" referred to. Really? He couldn't figure it out himself? Sad. Very, very sad.

And I have bone to pick with schools in this country.

"Possible" rhymes with "pimple." "Possibly" rhymes with "tree."

It's "an apple," not "a apple."

"Woman" is singular. "Women" is plural.

Why is it that people in their 20s haven't been properly taught the very basics? Literacy in America is sharply plummeting. Pretty soon, people won't be able to spell their own names or list the alphabet. We might as well be a third-world country where most people never go to school at all and live in abject poverty and even slavery. Anyone else noticing this rather embarrassing trend?

Aaaanyway, I meant to get this chapter out...quite awhile ago. That clearly didn't happen, but I didn't give a time estimate, so...*shrugs*

I hope you liked what I had Kakashi go through. Personally, I just have a hard time seeing the screeching, loud Chidori as an assassination technique. While you might sneak up on a deaf man, there is no way you're going to sneak up on anyone else. Ever. It makes sense to find a quieter solution, and really, even a howitzer would probably be better sound-wise.

As for the Uchiha, Itachi was trained by Danzo for awhile. That's all you really need to know about that. And I never agreed with the whole "We must kill the entire clan!" mindset. Seriously, someone as militant as Danzo would've wanted to preserve at least the children as future tools. It was "Madara" who messed all that up, in my opinion. But Naruto got in the way this time and made the wrinkly Uchiha back off. And Sasuke didn't even have to get mind-raped! Isn't that great? That means he'll be less traumatized and not nearly so emo...right? Hehehe...we'll see, my little friends. We'll see.

By the way, that comment about hairy legs...just use your imagination. Personally, I thought it was a nice touch :) And just admit it; you've always wondered about Itachi's steroid use, too.

Anyway, enjoy! And I so won that $20! Yay!


	7. Kisses from the Sky

_Longest chapter yet! ...Don't expect this to be a regular occurrence._

Ah, when to the heart of man

Was it ever less than a treason

To go with the drift of things,

To yield with a grace to reason,

And bow and accept the end

Of a love or a season?

-Robert Frost, from _Reluctance_

* * *

><p><em>July 10, 104 A.F., 1:22 a.m.<em>

"You should never have had to see that, Naru-chan."

Silence was his only answer.

"You're not handling it well, are you?"

Naruto shook his head, eyes obscured by his blonde mop of hair.

"Can you tell me what's been troubling you?"

"Were you gonna order them to be killed if the negotiations hadn't worked out?"

Hiruzen nodded. "Yes, but only the ones conspiring against us, never the innocent, and I certainly never would have forced Itachi to do it. What Danzo ordered was...beyond cruel and completely unacceptable. Some of the adults were on our side, after all."

"He just made Itachi kill his whole family for no good reason, then?"

"Yes."

Naruto started breathing faster. "B-but why? Why would anyone want to...? I just don't get it!"

The Third felt himself sighing. He kept forgetting just how utterly young the blonde was. "Power, Naruto. It's all about power, nothing more and nothing less."

"Huh?"

"The ability to control life and death is not meant for mere mortals. In reality, we only have that authority because heaven grants it to us, but it is addictive and so easy to abuse. We leaders are often corrupted because of this power's dark influence."

"Dark...influence?" his tiny voice squeaked in horror.

Something specific, he could see, was bothering the boy. "Naruto?"

"Sasuke's never gonna know, is he?"

Ah. So that was it. Naruto was asking if Sasuke would ever know _why_. Like with Ibiki, truth was one of the most important things in his life. "Honestly, it's going to take a long time before he's ready to learn of it, if he ever does, so that's really up to him. But I do not intend to tell him regardless."

At this, the seven-year-old's head shot up. "But he needs to know! He needs to understand! If he doesn't, then who knows what he'll do!" The boy's breathing became even quicker. "H-his brother killed...k-killed-"

"Naruto, calm down!"

He didn't calm down, and it quickly became apparent that he was having a full-blown panic attack.

"ANBU!"

One appeared before him.

"Get Doctor Yakushi in here immediately."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," he replied and then disappeared.

Then, Sarutobi gently picked the hyperventilating child up in his arms and subtly began weaving a genjutsu specifically designed to increase feelings of calmness and tranquility. Occasionally, it was used during an interrogation, but its main purpose was simply to be used as a sleep aid. It was extremely popular with parents. However, it wasn't doing much for Naruto, except that he did stop hyperventilating, because the boy wouldn't respond to anything he said. _'Where is that stupid doct-'_

Yakushi burst into the office. "Hokage-sama! Is everything alright?" Then, he caught sight of the child and immediately rushed over. "Naruto..."

Naruto was staring at the floor with empty eyes, and that worried the Hokage far more than a panic attack.

The Head Medic placed a green-glowing hand over the blonde's forehead and closed his eyes in concentration. A moment later, the seven-year-old was asleep. Yakushi sighed.

"Will he be alright?" the Hokage asked.

"I honestly have no idea. Physically, he was going into shock, but he didn't have any injuries, so I can only assume the wound was of the mind. Since I'm not an expert in psychology, I can't say one way or another."

"He's a strong kid," a voice from the shadows spoke. "He'll be fine."

"I hope so..."

"Thank you, Dr. Yakushi. You may go now. We'll alert you if there are any more problems."

The doctor nodded at the interrogator and the Hokage before leaving. An ANBU shut the door behind him.

"Now, Ibiki," the Hokage said, turning towards his ninja, "what did Naruto tell you?"

"Not much. He could barely talk. But he did say that our mystery man seemed to know Itachi and thought the kid owed him something. Said Itachi had betrayed him..."

Hiruzen hummed thoughtfully. Debts were forbidden in ROOT; one could not owe another _anything_, unless it happened to be Danzo and the village—in that order. Therefore, despite the fact that his old rival had ordered the massacre, this strange killer probably didn't have anything to do with the organization. "A partner outside of ROOT...I seriously doubt he would've approved such a thing."

"Itachi didn't tell him, then. Or ask him," Ibiki added as an afterthought.

"Unless it was someone Danzo felt was unquestionably loyal to his version of a strong Konoha, that is, or someone he could use to further that vision. Still, he was most certainly not of ROOT."

Ibiki nodded. "Yeah, that's true. But he went after the children—something I know that warmongerer would have never allowed—so he must not have followed the plan, if that's the case."

"Ah, but whose plan?"

The interrogator shrugged. "No clue. Wasn't Itachi's idea, that's for sure. His kills were mercifully quick and he didn't touch the innocent. Weirdo did, so either Danzo was wrong about his loyalty-"

Sarutobi interrupted. "-or he truly had nothing to do with him." He sighed and leaned back in his chair, Naruto tucked in his arms. "Either way, this is an unprecedented disaster for _all_ of us."

"Well, they are killing bloodline users in Mist..."

"Under the Mizukage's orders, yes, but this? This was treason, pure and simple." He looked at the tiny blonde in his arms and winced. "And it would've been a _complete_ catastrophe if Naruto hadn't stepped in."

Ibiki nodded. "But," he began, "mark my words; if the public ever does find out about this-"

"And they probably will."

"-it's likely the village will turn against them and quickly _make_ it a complete catastrophe. Ninja will see it as their duty to kill off the rest of the traitors, despite the fact that the kids are innocent."

"I know. That's why I wanted to solve things peacefully. This has only made things worse. For all his scheming to supposedly make the village stronger, Danzo has done nothing but weaken and divide it."

"Indeed. And I bet the Uchiha kids wouldn't take too kindly to this, either."

"They can never know, then," the Hokage realized. "No one can ever know, apart from us."

It was Ibiki's turn to sigh. "Then, you know what we have to do."

Sarutobi turned eyes filled with sadness to the child he held for a brief moment before deciding. "Bring Inoichi here."

As his trusted subordinate left, the aged Hokage had to wonder if it would ever end—if he'd ever get the time or opportunity to heal from all the horrific things he'd seen...and done, and if he'd ever be able to look himself in the mirror again.

He wondered when it'd be his turn to rest.

* * *

><p><em>May 4, 109 A.F., 8:00 a.m.<em>

"You want me to do what?" the twelve-year-old standing before the desk asked with his mouth hanging open.

The Hokage looked at the blonde preteen without a shred of mercy showing in his eyes. "I want you to join a Genin team."

"...I'm a registered ANBU, trained by Ibiki Morino, Kakashi Hatake, Itachi Uchiha, Inoichi Yamanaka, and Tenzou themselves. I'm pretty sure I'm at least a little bit past Genin level, Old Man," Naruto deadpanned.

Sarutobi chuckled a little at that. "Oh, I'm quite sure you are. But you're also isolated. You have little to no interaction with those your own age. In fact, you barely have any contact outside of your family and your team _at all._ I'd actually be willing to bet that most of the village has forgotten what you look like, since you never went out into public without a disguise after Ibiki took you in."

Naruto shrugged, a clear sign that he was not taking this well and intended to be stubborn. "So?" What the Hokage had said was true; he never went out without using Transformation. Why shouldn't he? It made things so much easier when he wasn't forced to remember...

The Third's eyebrows rose. "'So?' So, how do you expect to become a successful shinobi—isn't Hokage your goal, after all?—if no one even knows you exist? Can't do that by staying in ANBU your whole life, unless, of course, you intend to keep to the shadows like Danzo."

The twelve-year-old snapped, "I'll never be like that freak! And I hope he rots in the lowest dungeons of Hell for all eternity!"

Hiruzen smirked. "Then, what do you intend to do about it?"

Naruto growled. That was hitting below the belt, and the Old Man knew it!...just like he knew the wise Hokage was perfectly correct. "Fine, I'll join this stupid Genin team, but I want a higher rank than that. I know I've earned it by now."

Sighing contentedly, Sarutobi's smirk widened as he said, "Never intended to do otherwise, Naruto."

"GREAT! So, what's my rank?"

"Jounin..."

"YEEESSSS!"

"...which you'll get a few months after you pass the upcoming Chuunin exams and not a moment before."

Naruto's celebrating was rudely and abruptly put on hold. "W-w-what...?"

The Old Man's eyes gleamed with suppressed glee...and not-so-suppressed mischief. "My dear boy, if you ever intend to make Hokage, you have to be in the public eye. You have to be seen as strong—a hero! The Chuunin exams are the best way to do that, and you can't take the exams if you're already a Chuunin or a Jounin. So..." Sarutobi leaned forward.

Naruto copied him, hoping to hear it was all a joke.

"...you'll just have to wait till then!"

It wasn't a joke.

Naruto clenched his teeth in anger and frustration. "And my teammates?"

"You'll be on Team 7 with Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno. Your sensei will be Kakashi."

"WHAT! YOU'RE PUTTING ME ON KAKASHI'S TEAM? DIDN'T HE TORTURE ME ENOUGH GROWING UP?" Ok, so he was being a little overly dramatic, but still!

The Third glared at the blonde's loud voice and snapped, "My decision is final. You meet your team at the Academy in room 204 at 11:00. Don't be late."

"But-!" That was so unfair! Even Idate was Chuunin rank now, and he was loads better than his brother!

"Dismissed!"

Naruto left in a huff. It was going to be a long six months.

* * *

><p><em>10:30 a.m.<em>

Sakura was excited. No, she was _beyond_ excited! This was going to be her first day as a proud Genin of Konoha, so she could hardly wait! And best of all, she'd calculated the odds in her head and she had a 75% chance of getting on Sasuke's team, thanks to being the best in the academics! They'd be paired with the dead last, of course, but sacrifices had to be made for the good of...well, herself. Ino could spew declarations of undying love until her voice gave out, but Sakura would be the one spending day after day with the gorgeous boy.

What could Ino possibly do about that?

"Nothing, that's what!" Sakura shouted out loud while she fixed her hair in the mirror, making sure that every pink strand was in place.

"Did you say something, sweetie?" her mother called from downstairs.

Her cheeks went a little red at that. "Nothing, Mom!" Had she really just been giving herself a pep-talk in the mirror? How embarrassing! She hoped Sasuke never found out about it; he might think her mentally unstable, after all!

The pink-haired girl promptly dropped her brush in shock at the thought. If...if he believed something like that, then she'd never have a chance with him, and Ino...Sasuke might turn to her, instead! NO! She couldn't allow such a thing to happen! Not to her beautiful Sasuke! Never!

Sakura hurriedly tied her hand band on and flew down the stairs to where her mother was drinking tea and reading the newspaper. "Sorry about the noise from earlier, Mom. You see, I dropped something on my toes and yelled. I'm just glad it didn't bruise, because black toes look gross! I saw Kiba with a finger like that one day, and it looked like he'd just drawn over it with permanent marker. It was so nasty! No wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend."

Her mother just sat there and stared at her.

"Uh, Mom?"

That seemed to bring the woman out of her daze. "Honey, what are you talking about? What noise?"

Oh.

She'd already forgotten.

"Um...never mind! Gotta go or I'll be late to Orientation!" Sakura rushed to the door, opened it, said her good-byes, and shut the door.

As she hurried out, she noticed Ino just slightly ahead of her, so she rushed to keep up. "Good morning, Ino-pig," she said as snidely as possible without wrinkling her face.

Ino sniffed disdainfully. "Hello, Billboard-Brow. Out getting your daily dose of sunlight so you don't look _completely_ like a vampire?"

Sakura huffed. "What about you, Pig? Aren't you worried someone's going to make a leather purse out of your skin with all your tanning? Oh, and let's not forget all the wrinkles and skin cancer you'll have down the road. Sasuke certainly won't want you then."

The blonde rolled her eyes imperiously. "Oh, please. All men like a woman with a tan. It shows she gets out more than _some people_, and guys always like a more active lady. And the risk is worth it if it gets me Sasuke."

She smirked. "'Active,' huh? I'll be sure and let Sasuke know all about the possible diseases he'll get from associating with you, since you don't mind the 'risk' and all."

Ino blinked in confusion before the certainty that she'd been horribly insulted set in. "Why, you-!"

But the pink-haired girl started running and called back over her shoulder, "Gotta go, Piggy! Can't be late for Orientation!"

"You liar!" Ino screamed back as she, too, started running. "You just wanna steal that seat by Sasuke!"

Sakura just laughed, because her friend was exactly right. But for all her head start, the blonde kunoichi trained slightly more and was therefore faster. So, they arrived in the schoolroom at the exact same time, and despite all their efforts, they looked up to see that someone else had already taken the seat beside Sasuke.

It was some weird guy wearing an old-fashioned ninja mask with a single, rectangular slit that showed the eyes and nothing else—not even his hair. And even the skin around his eyes was covered by...was that black makeup?

"Hey," Sakura said as she nudged Ino, "who's the guy sitting by my Sasuke?"

"Don't you mean _my_ Sasuke? And I don't know. Maybe it's not even a guy. Maybe it's some girl moving in on territory that's not hers."

But she shook her head. "No, it's a boy. If it were a girl, she would've started flirting with him already." It was a well-known fact, after all: no female could resist the gorgeous Uchiha's suave charms. It HAD to be a guy.

"True," Ino replied.

"So...who is he?"

"Geez, Forehead, if you wanna know so badly, just go and ask him!"

Right. She could do that. Yup. No problem. Sakura wasn't shy anymore; she'd gotten over that years ago..._right_? Of course she had! She'd go up to that strange boy and demand his name and that he _get out of her seat!_

Sakura stepped forward to do just that. Each step she took up the stairs was punctuated with a resounding "clip" of her sandals. Her hair gently blew away from her face and bounced around her in gentle waves as she neared her objective. Then, she was there, and her perfectly manicured hand reached out and grabbed his shoulder, ready to spin him around and glare an answer out of hi-

The girl suddenly found herself face-down on a desk with her arm twisted behind her back painfully. She gasped in sudden fear. She hadn't even seen him move!

Then, he spoke. "What do you want?" the strange boy demanded.

Sakura was surprised at just how gruff it was. It made her wonder if he was actually older than the rest of the class. "N-n-nothing! I j-j-just wanted to sit in my seat!"

"This is your seat?" he asked skeptically as he tightened his grip slightly.

The pink-haired girl got the impression that, should she lie, he would know. "W-w-well, we don't have _assigned _seats, but-"

"Then, you're sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. Go find another seat, and don't _ever_ throw your Killing Intent at me again."

And just like that, she was free. Sakura immediately brought her hand around and began rubbing her wrist, which she was sure would bruise later. Then, she fled to the other side of the room in terror, wondering all the while what exactly "Killing Intent" was and how she had "thrown" it. Something about it sounded awfully familiar...

She jumped when a hand reached out and touched her on the shoulder.

"Relax, Forehead," Ino said. "It's just me."

"Oh...Ino. Thank goodness it's you and not..." She shuddered at the thought.

To Sakura's surprise, her blonde friend shuddered, as well. "Yeah, totally. That guy's seriously creepy. And he could've really hurt you! Who does he think he is? I'm gonna go and give him a piece of my mind!"

"NO, Ino! Don't!"

"Why not? I mean, what's he gonna do, Billboard-Brow? It's not like he could actually kill us or anything."

But Sakura wasn't so sure. However, before she could convince her friend, Iruka-sensei stepped into the room, to the pink-haired girl's immense relief.

"Good morning, class!" he boomed out with his usual, happy voice and smiling face, though it wasn't exactly reaching his eyes, for some reason. "Most of you here are about to begin your careers as ninja of the Leaf."

_'What did he mean by "most"? Is there someone here who's already a ninja?'_

"It is not a life for the weak or the weak-willed. Every single day, you will be putting your lives on the line for your friends, family, village, country, and Hokage. You will kill or be killed, and there will never be a time when you truly retire. This service is for life; never again will you truly be considered civilians, and never again will you be completely free to live as you please. At any point, you could be called forward to fight and even die for this country. You are our future, and I am proud to see that our village is in good hands. May the Will of Fire be with you all!"

A resounding cheer exploded from the mouth of each person in the room...except for one. The boy with the full-face mask didn't so much as twitch, but even so, Sakura got the distinct impression that he was not impressed in the least.

"Now it's time to announce the teams. Keep in mind that I had little to do with your placements, beyond recommendations to the Hokage. That means that your assignments are subject to change at _his_ whim and not your own, so there will be no trading teammates. You're going to be stuck with each other for the foreseeable future, so put your differences aside and work together."

The stranger sighed audibly, and Sakura had to hold back a glare. What was his problem? And who was this guy, anyway? Perhaps he was some super-secret spy sent by a foreign nation to steal information! Perhaps he was watching the graduation only in order to see if the rumors about Sasuke's strength were true! Maybe that's why he was sitting by their future Hokage! (What else could someone as cool as the Uchiha be?) She had to tell Iruka! She had to-

"Team Seven will be Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha-"

"YEEEAAAH! I BEAT YOU, INO-PIG! TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL!" she shouted, forgetting her earlier thoughts entirely.

"Noooo!" a dozen other female voices rang out.

Sakura liked the sound; it sounded like...victory.

"Ahem," Iruka-sensei said, with a tinge of irritation, "as I was saying, Team Seven is Sakura, Sasuke, and Naru...to...Uzu...maki..." Their scarred teacher looked up with wide eyes and started looking around frantically for a moment.

Then, the strange, black-clad boy raised his hand. "Right here, Iruka...sensei."

The Chuunin gulped audibly. "R-r-right. A-anyway, Team Eight will be Hinata Hyuuga, Shino Aburame, and Kiba Inuzuka."

A chorus of disappointed sighs met Sakura's ears. A lot of the boys had wanted to be on her team, for the simple fact that they thought she'd be easy. Sakura had no clue what that meant, but she'd heard several people saying it. Kiba and Shino had never paid the pretty Hyuuga much attention, though, so she wondered how they'd get along.

"Team Ten is Ino Yamanaka, Choji Akimichi, and Shikamaru Nara."

Ino groaned and complained about being with "Lazy-bones" and "Chubby," neither of which paid her any mind, except for Choji, whose eyes gleamed with the promise of revenge.

It made Sakura smirk.

"We're going to break for lunch so that you can get to know your teammates a little better. Meet back here at noon sharp so that your sensei can pick you up. Dismissed!"

Sakura blinked. There was no way she was eating with—what was his name? Naruto? Yeah, it wasn't going to happen.

"Sakura, right?" a voice behind her said, with barely a shred of interest showing through.

She gulped and then slowly turned around to see her new teammate, the creep. And she was afraid to not answer him. "Uh, y-yeah, that's me. And y-you're Naruto?"

He sighed. "Yes. Where's the Uchiha?"

Blinking rapidly, Sakura realized she'd missed her love's grand exit. "I...didn't even see him leave."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "He went out that open window," he said as he pointed somewhere behind her. "I just figured you'd know where he goes, seeing as how you're one of his stalkers. Looks like I'll have to do it myself."

Sakura bristled. "I do not stalk him!"

But the boy was ignoring her. She could tell because his eyes were glassy and unfocused. Then, suddenly, he blinked and his eyes were clear again. That was when the pink-haired Genin noticed what a beautiful and rare shade they were, and she found herself staring rather than listening.

"Hey! Pay attention!" he snapped.

She promptly jerked back to reality and apologized.

"Yeah, yeah. Like I was saying, he's in the attic. Probably went there to escape from _you._ God knows I would..."

"WHAT!"

Iruka-sensei, she suddenly realized, was watching them—no, he was watching _Naruto_ very carefully, almost as if he were afraid of the boy. Weird.

Naruto huffed. "Are you deaf as well as weak?"

Her mouth dropped open in a mixture of rage and shock. "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! I AM NOT WEAK!"

"You live ten minutes away from the school, and that's with walking. You and that Ino girl ran all the way here and showed up seriously out-of-breath. That tells me that you haven't been training for endurance."

"I-"

"Then, you crash into this classroom and start shoving past all the people in your way to come at me—a complete stranger—while exuding KI the whole time. That tells me you haven't a clue how to control A.) your chakra or B.) your emotions."

"That's not-!"

"And since you looked like you didn't even know what KI is, that tells me that you probably haven't bothered to even read about what _real_ shinobi battles are like, much less actually been in a fight that was remotely threatening."

"Hey-!"

"And when I twisted your arm behind your back, it was so easy to do that I could immediately tell you had absolutely no muscle mass. You were about as limp as a wet noodle, which brings me to the conclusion that you don't work out at all."

"Yes, I do!"

"No, you don't. You do the minimum amount to keep your figure, and that's it. No kunoichi worth her headband would ever call _that_ 'working out,' and no real ninja would ever find a wimp like you even a slight challenge. You'll most likely be killed the first time you get into a fight with a freakin' bandit, much less an actual shinobi. I can't believe the Old Man put me on a team with some useless fangirl..."

She gasped. The JERK!

"...we'll probably end up carrying you around like a little baby," he spat, "because _someone_ thought it'd benefit Konoha to give a waste of space like you that headband." Naruto threw a none-too-subtle glare in Iruka-sensei's direction, indicating exactly where he placed most of the blame for that. "Why don't you just quit and go back home to play with your dolls?"

"You...you BASTARD!" Sakura screamed and suddenly lunged at him, fist raised and eyes aflame.

But Naruto simply stepped to the side, and she landed on the floor painfully. There'd definitely be a bruise on her hip tomorrow to add to the ones on her wrist.

"Naruto Uzumaki!" Iruka-sensei shouted. "Outside! NOW!"

The Creep shrugged and followed the Chuunin out the door, not even a flicker of fear showing in his eyes. It made Sakura wonder just what her teacher could do against someone like that, if he could do anything at all.

She didn't realize she was trembling till Ino touched her shoulder. "Sakura...you ok?"

That's when she noticed that most of the class was still in the room, and they were all staring at her, some mockingly and others pityingly. All of it made her feel a strange, burning sensation in her gut, and it took her a moment to realize that it was a mixture of shame and outrage. She focused on the outrage and let it fester as her various classmates left with their new teammates.

When Naruto came back in the room (looking entirely undefeated) with Iruka-sensei right behind him (looking entirely frustrated), she felt said feelings spike. Then, her teacher left and the only two in the room were...

"Calm down, will ya?"

Sakura's eyes, already narrow, narrowed further, but she didn't respond.

"You're throwing that KI again, and it's rather pathetic. Now, cut it out."

Oh, so he was feeling threatened, was he? She smirked.

"Please," he scoffed, as if he'd read her mind or something, "Killing Intent refers to the desire to end another's life or to force another to submit. Since you literally can't do either..."

"Are you some sort of sexist pig or something? Because, if you are, I-"

Naruto started laughing. "First of all," he managed to get out, "I am not, nor have I ever been, a 'sexist pig.' Is that really...ha!...the only thing you can think to say?" Then, abruptly, he stopped laughing. "Second, if you're going to threaten someone, make sure you actually have what it takes to back it up."

Her mouth closed. Oooooh, that arrogant jerk was going to suffer. She'd make sure of that! But Naruto just rolled his eyes and pulled something out of a pocket before tossing it to her. Sakura caught it on reflex and realized it was a nutrition bar—not a ration bar, as those were for desperate times _only—_and _then_ realized it was close to 12:00 and she still hadn't eaten. There wasn't any point in grabbing lunch now, either, since people had already started trickling back in.

But she was on a diet. Really, she couldn't.

"Eat it," he insisted. "You look like a skeleton or some prisoner-of-war."

"Stop insulting me!"

"Stop making it so easy."

"I-"

"Geez, are you two _still_ at it?" a bored voice from close to the front of the class drawled. "Go get some boxing gloves or something."

Choji, who was sitting next to him, just chuckled as he munched on some chips.

Naruto blinked. "Who are you?"

"Shikamaru Nara, world's laziest Genin. You?"

"Naruto Uzumaki, next Hokage."

Ino, who was sitting a row above Shikamaru, snorted. "Sorry to break your bubble, creep, but Sasuke's going to be the next Hokage. A joke like you doesn't stand a chance."

Sakura smirked, loving the thought.

But the blue-eyed boy just laughed. "Hate to break it to ya, but all I have to do is make Jounin before the Old Man can legally make me his successor whenever he decides I'm ready for it."

"W-what?"

"Besides, Sasuke's not really all that great."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HE'S NOT THAT GREAT?" both Sakura and Ino shouted at the same time.

"I mean just what I said. He's not that great. Actually, that's more due to his lack of serious training than it is his lack of talent, but either way, I really doubt he'd be interested in the job, anyway."

This time, it was Choji who asked the question. "Why do you say that, Naruto?"

"Simple. He's got his hands full trying to raise his nineteen cousins. Sure, people are there on the Hokage's orders to help, but his pride insists on him doing the bulk of the work. He doesn't have the time to seriously train right now."

"But he's the Rookie of the Year!" Ino protested.

"Like I said, it's not due to lack of talent but lack of time. Plus...I really don't see much competition here."

Sakura growled, but Shikamaru spoke up before she could start screaming. "If he doesn't have the time, why is he even making the effort to be a shinobi in the first place?"

"Because you can't be a clan leader unless you're at least a Special Jounin first. Once he makes that—and I have no doubt he will—he's probably going to retire and take care of his family. Being Hokage would be-"

"A waste of my time," Sasuke himself interrupted as he entered the room. He sat down in his usual seat (which was rather distant from both Sakura and Ino) before turning and staring at her. "I also have no interest in wasting my time on two useless 'kunoichi' who don't even take the shinobi lifestyle remotely seriously. The only one in this class I'd even _consider_ marrying is Hinata, and that's because she actually cares whether or not she improves."

Hinata, who had walked through the door just then, squeaked and stopped dead in her tracks. Sakura could vaguely hear Kiba complaining about her standing on his foot, but the Hyuuga princess paid no attention.

"Unfortunately," Sasuke continued as though he hadn't heard anything, "our families don't exactly have the kindest history, so that's a no-go. Looks like I'll have to look elsewhere."

At his words, both Sakura and Ino became quiet and depressed until the blonde girl's sensei came and got her. She didn't even have the energy to pretend to be angry at her longtime rival as a bearded man came and picked up Team Ten. A visible cloud just hung over her head as she and her team waited and waited...and waited for their sensei to show.

Naruto, Sakura noticed, just pulled out a book and started reading it, and she took it to mean that he was purposefully and pointedly ignoring her. And Sasuke...he took one look at the book and immediately went to sit by The Creep (still far away from where _she_ was sitting) to read over his shoulder.

She could only stand being ignored for so long, so she stomped over and demanded to know what they were reading.

"The _Kokinshu_," Naruto replied without even blinking.

Sasuke didn't so much as glance her way.

"And what, pray tell, is that?" The title sounded familiar, but her angry, depressed mind couldn't place it.

This time, the Uchiha did speak. "Geez, Sakrua, don't you know anything? It's one of the classics."

"Poetry," The Creep supplied helpfully.

Then, Sakura blushed. The _Kokinshu_! She knew that book! She'd read her way through half of it at age seven as a challenge her father had given her. But then, he'd died and she'd...lost interest. "O-oh." She quickly sat back down and proceeded to ignore the two as she waited for time to pass.

And it passed at the speed of a sloth, making her mood even worse.

Eventually, a man with silver hair finally walked through the door. "Team Seven?"

They looked up.

"Meet me on the roof," he ordered in a bored tone, just before he disappeared.

The boys glanced at each other before getting up and following. Sakura stood a little more hesitantly, though, as she was curious about something she thought she had seen as Naruto had walked out. She quietly crept to the desk he'd been sitting at and looked.

Sure enough, there was a small streak of blood on the back of the chair.

Naruto The Creep was injured?

She blinked uncertainly for a moment before she, too, followed their new teacher to the roof, where she was the last to arrive.

Both Sasuke and..._he_ had left plenty of space on the stairs for her to sit down, and her depression turned to irritation. Really, there was no reason for treating her like that! She sat with a huff.

"Now that we're all here," their unknown sensei said with a pointed look in her direction, "how about we introduce ourselves?"

Sakura was confused. "What do you mean, sensei?"

"Tell me your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and any dreams for the future. Here, I'll start us off. My name is Kakashi Hatake, I like...well...my dislikes...I have lots of hobbies, and my dreams for the future are none of your business."

Even Sasuke grumbled at the sparse introduction. "All you told us was your name..."

Kakashi merely smiled. "Now it's your turn," he said as he pointed to Sakura.

Her eyes narrowed as her irritation worsened. "My name is Sakura Haruno. I like..." She couldn't help but glance Sasuke's way, although she managed to avoid saying his name out loud. "W-well, I like reading. I dislike a certain _creep_," she growled with a not-so-discreet glare shot at the black-clad boy sitting to her left, "and Ino-pig. My hobbies include, um...well, my dreams for the future..." Actually, she wasn't sure _what _her hobbies and dreams for the future were apart from Sasuke.

Their sensei blinked (or did he wink?) before he pointed at Sasuke and said, "You next, dark-haired...child-thing."

Sasuke's glare could've frozen the sun (though it didn't seem to affect Kakashi). "My _name_ is Sasuke Uchiha. I like my family and training. I dislike everything else. My hobbies are none of your concern. I don't have any dreams, but I do have goals that _will_ be reality: To rebuild my clan to its former glory and to find out the truth of what happened that night."

Sakura was curious. _'What did he mean by, "that night"?'_

"Alright! Now it's your turn, Naru-chan!"

The Creep growled. "My name's Naruto. I like a lot of stuff, I dislike politics, my hobbies are whatever I want them to be, and my dreams for the future are to become a Jounin and then the Hokage."

To her surprise, their silver-haired sensei protested. "Ah, Naruto, don't be like that!"

"Why not? I don't wanna be here, and I have no problems making sure you know it," he said as he clenched his teeth.

Kakashi crossed his arms over his chest. "Hmph. You always did have a short temper, but isn't this a little extreme?"

"No!" Naruto (The Creep) snapped back. "A freakin' GENIN? The Old Man made me—ME—a Genin! Do you have any idea how insulting that is? I've completed TWO A- and THREE B-level missions in the last month!"

"Yes, and they were all solo, weren't they?"

"Except for one, of _course_ they were! Why do I need teammates when I've got my Shadow Clones? We work together perfectly. This whole assignment is...it's just a waste of time!"

Sakura noticed that her mouth wasn't the only one on the ground with the information they'd just heard. Naruto (The Creep) had done _what_? No freakin' way...

"And that's your problem, Naruto. You can't be a Chuunin, much less a Jounin, without the ability to work with others. You have to be able to lead, but you're too used to being alone. A Hokage needs more than just strength, you know. He also needs to have the ability to guide, inspire, and play well with others. Your mind's been screwed up ever since..._that_, and Hokage-sama's trying to help."

Naruto scoffed. "Help me with what?"

"Healing."

Their strange teammate visibly flinched at that, but he didn't respond otherwise. In Sakura's mind, it just upgraded him from The Creep to The Freak. Seriously, what was this kid's dysfunction? She didn't get it and didn't _want_ to get it, and surely Sasuke felt the same way, right?

No, the pink-haired female realized as she glanced at him from the corner of her eye, he didn't look like he felt that way at all. In fact, if anything, he looked intrigued and curious. _She_ had no interest in finding out what had screwed up their teammate's brain, but the Uchiha clearly did...which meant she needed to act interested in order to catch his attention. Who knew? Maybe she still had a chance, despite what the dark boy had said earlier. Quickly, Sakura schooled her features into something she hoped looked fascinated rather than disgusted.

With any luck, she'd get a date with Sasuke!

* * *

><p><em>Earlier that day...<em>

Naruto had left the Hokage's office with one goal in mind: find out as much about his classmates as he could. And it turned out to be pathetically easy to do. Of course, he'd already known a lot about Sasuke, as he was one of the ANBU typically assigned to guard him. (It had been...difficult for awhile, though he'd eventually gotten all the flashbacks from looking into their Uchiha faces.) But still, they'd never had any actual contact since..._then_, and it was making him nervous and jumpy.

The Uchiha preteen was fairly skilled, all things considered. He had decent abilities in taijutsu and ninjutsu, and his theoretical work showed he was also rather skilled at tactical planning. Most of his opponents on the field, Naruto knew, would find Sasuke's ability to predict their moves almost shocking. With talent like that, he would be able to overwhelm much stronger enemies with little more than traps and aces-in-the-hole. It was admirable, to say the least. Sasuke was a teammate he found himself looking forward to working with.

When the boy sat down next to him, he did nothing more than turn his head and nod. He understood that, like Itachi, the simpler acts of respect were often more appreciated—not that he'd ever followed that logic for his captain.

The Haruno, however, was a different story altogether. Her file was simple: brains but no brawn. And by "brains," it meant that she scored well on tests and assignments and had a high IQ. She excelled in theory and not in reality, something that had been getting more and more common in these times of relative peace, and was one of the lowest-ranked in terms of actual skill. There was no drive to succeed in her, unless he counted her desire to marry the Uchiha prince—and he most certainly didn't! The Haruno would be a waste of space and a security risk, to say the least, and had the highest chance of getting someone killed in the field.

Naruto was resigned to the team, but he refused to allow this _girl's_ stupidity to put everyone's life in danger, all because she wanted to be a pretty princess in some fantasy world of hers.

So, when she came charging through the door (huffing and puffing, no less), he was not impressed. When she began stomping up to him in an effort to demand he give up his seat to her, he was downright disgusted. He was an unknown opponent and yet she was challenging him? What was the Academy teaching these kids, anyway?

The ANBU decided to break her of that notion right away, and to his surprise, he nearly broke her arm in the process. Sakura was barely more than skin and bones. The fear he felt radiating from her made him feel a little sick to his stomach, but Naruto knew it was necessary. He shuddered to think what would happen if she took that attitude into battle.

She finally sat down and life went on, except for him. All the people in the room were starting to make him rather nervous...and so many of them were girls crowding around Sasuke, who was sitting right next to him. Naruto had seen behavior like this before, but only when a group of male dogs smelled a female in heat. It was amusing, disgusting, and somewhat frightening, but it did keep his mind occupied well enough to calm him down.

However, once he _was_ calm, the blue-eyed boy realized he'd just compared Sasuke to a bi-

"Good morning, class!" a brunette Chuunin announced as though the kids should be _proud_ to be killers at age twelve. "Most of you here are about to begin your careers as ninja of the Leaf."

_'Nah, reeeeally?' _Naruto had to roll his eyes as he heard the Chuunin (what was his name? Irukua?) prattle on and on about things said teacher really didn't understand. It wasn't so much the topics as it was the fact that if the students couldn't work together by now, someone along the line had really dropped the ball. If they weren't intelligent and mature enough at this late in the game to put aside differences, then they were most likely in the wrong profession.

And if the village was in good hands with _these_ Genin, he might as well hand himself over to the enemy _right now._

Oh, there were some that weren't so bad. The Nara, for one, was decent, but he was so lazy that Naruto got the impression he wouldn't understand how to take things seriously until it was too late. The Akimichi had a similar problem; he was more obsessed with eating than he was training. Of course, in that clan, the members had to be larger than average to use their jutsu, but that didn't excuse his lack of study. The Yamanaka was another disappointment, and a heavy one, at that. He couldn't see one ounce of her old man in her. She was just one more whiny fangirl that needed to get her head screwed on straight.

Team Eight was perhaps the most prepared. Shino Aburame was a considered a genius in his clan for his use of strategy and high taijutsu skills. Ninjutsu and genjutsu were a little shaky, but he was definitely Genin material. Kiba was almost the opposite. A fairly intelligent Inuzuka, he had most of the clan techniques for his level down (but not mastered) and definitely excelled in ninjutsu. However, he was also arrogant and brash. One day, if he weren't careful, he'd challenge the wrong opponent and get his head separated from his shoulders.

Hinata Hyuuga was the real gold-mine in the team. She was shy and downright timid, but those were literally the only two things holding her back from being Rookie of the Year. Being a Hyuuga, she was a powerhouse in taijutsu and immune to most forms of genjutsu, and her chakra control was likely nearly perfect. So what if she didn't have the best grades? From what he knew, the only thing Hinata needed to be successful was a confidence boost, something she'd probably never get from her family. (Although it was considered something of a secret Naruto was well aware of the fact that she'd been removed from her abusive home some years ago, though she still went there for training. He wondered whom her guardian was...)

As for Team Seven, his team, he was half-satisfied, half-disappointed. The Uzumaki had no doubts that Kakashi had pulled strings to get him in his team, and that would not be tolerated. When his birthday came around again, he was going to go all out on his brother. Still, he might as well make the best of it.

Naruto walked up to the pink-haired female and figured he should break the ice...since it was a bit thicker than usual due to recent events. That was when he noticed that Irukua had given them a lunch break and that Sasuke was climbing out the window. The ANBU almost laughed but then realized the Uchiha had given him a better way to break the ice. Surely, Sakura would join him for Mission: Find Sasuke.

The second he looked at her, however, an image flashed through his mind. _Blood...it turned the water in the pond a delicate pink...bits of bone crunched underfoot...where was it? The clone had sensed a flicker of life just a moment ago..._ Naruto shook his head, banished his thoughts, and quickly composed himself as he walked up to her.

"Sakura, right?" he asked her in a bored tone. He got a kick out of hearing her stutter, however. Sometimes, Naruto just had that effect on women, and he specifically meant those who didn't know he was a jinchuuriki (such as enemy kunoichi, teenagers, or..._preteens_). Why, he didn't know, but he found it hilarious—when he wasn't seeing images he would've given his right arm to forget.

"And y-you're Naruto?" she asked.

Wow. Was that a short attention span or what? Hadn't the Chuunin just said his name? Sakura really needed a lot of work. "Yes. Where's the Uchiha?"

"I...didn't even see him leave."

Naruto rolled his eyes. This was going to be a looooong assignment. "He went out that open window. I just figured you'd know where he goes, seeing as how you're one of his stalkers. Looks like I'll have to do it myself." Seriously, was the Haruno really that bad or was this just a bad day? He hoped it was the latter.

She blushed and then snapped, "I do not stalk him!"

_'Suuure ya don't. Now, let's see where that little chicken-butt went...'_ He "looked" around for a moment before spotting the Uchiha's chakra signature above them, in what was probably the attic. "Huh. Looks like he climbed up to the attic...I guess he knows that chakra control exercise, then. You know how to get up to the attic, Sakura?"

But she was just staring at him with glazed eyes.

_...their eyes were all the same—open, staring...blank...the little girl sitting next to a woman's body looked up at him emptily..._

"Hey! Pay attention!"

The Haruno blushed again and quickly stammered out some sort of apology.

He ignored it and kept praying that she wasn't _this_ bad. He didn't want to die young! "Like I was saying, he's in the attic. Probably went there to escape from _you._ God knows I would..."

"WHAT!"

Oops. He hadn't meant to say that last part out loud, but oh, well. The damage was done. Might as well reap the rewards. "Are you deaf as well as weak?" Naruto mourned his lack of a camera at her next statement.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! I AM NOT WEAK!"

The blue-eyed boy stilled for a moment. Whoever was lying to her should be kicked off the edge of a cliff, because the girl was clearly delusional. Naruto quickly went into detail why exactly she needed to step up her game after that. No way was he going to let her drag her fantasy world on missions with them! He concluded it with the statement, "Why don't you just quit and go back home to play with your dolls?"

If that didn't get her eyes open, nothing would!

"You...you BASTARD!" she screamed as she very awkwardly lunged at him.

He moved half an inch to the left and she landed on the floor with a painful-sounding thump. His earlier fears had just been confirmed; she _was_ that bad.

And it was then that the sensei of the class decided to make himself known. "Naruto Uzumaki!" Irukua shouted with a cherry-red face. "OUTSIDE! NOW!"

Naruto shrugged and followed the Chuunin out the door. He wasn't worried; the teacher couldn't do anything no matter how much he didn't like him.

Irukua led him down a few rooms into what appeared to be the Teachers Lounge. As soon as the door closed behind them, Irukua let his temper loose.

"Who do you think you are?" he whispered in one of the most rage-choked voices Naruto had ever heard.

"Naruto Uzumaki. And you?" the ANBU replied calmly.

"Their teacher, the one who knows them best!" he hissed. "And you had no right to pass judgment on her like that!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Look, Irukua-"

"It's Iruka!"

Oh. "Ok, then, Iruka, is she or is she not my teammate?"

"Clearly, she _is_," he all but snarled.

"Then, her well-being is my concern, as mine should be to her. Correct?"

"Yes, but that doesn't give you the right to criticize, humiliate, and mock her!"

"Oh? And we ninja have it all so easy, do we?"

"That should come from the enemy, not from comrades, people who are supposed to have her back!"

"And yet, she came at me with Killing Intent just because I was sitting in 'her' seat! She's a selfish little girl who couldn't care less about 'comrades' when they're in the way!"

"That's not true," Iruka growled.

"It sure is! Or were you just not paying attention when she stomped her way to my chair?"

"I wasn't even in the room-"

"You were standing right outside the door!"

Iruka became oddly silent.

"That's what I thought. You dare to stand there and smugly lecture me about how to treat comrades with the proper respect and yet have no problems turning your back on me without a second's hesitation. All your double standards make me sick! You know what I am, right?"

The teacher looked away. "An ANBU."

"No, not that. I mean the other secret."

Iruka's eyes widened. "You mean the—"

"The fox? Yes."

"Y-you think _that's_ what this is about?"

"Isn't it?" Naruto pointedly asked. "It sure is for everyone else. Why not you, too?"

But the Chuunin just shook his head. "It's got nothing to do with that."

"Then what? What is it that makes you hate me so much? I can feel it practically dripping from you, ya know."

Two brown, fire-filled eyes met his own. "Mizuki was my best friend, and you killed him, you bastard!" he admitted venomously.

Naruto was stunned. It had been one of his recent B-ranked missions...to think chasing down and eliminating a _traitor_ would come back to bite him-! "Are you _serious_? That idiot broke into the Hokage's office, stole the Forbidden Scroll, and ran off to Orochimaru with it, and you dare to stand here and get mad at _me_ for enforcing the law? WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM!"

"I know—_knew—_Mizuki, and I'm telling you that wasn't him! He would never have done anything like that! Either he was being controlled or being threatened, but he wasn't the type to ever steal from this village of his own free will!"

The blonde ANBU thought about it for a moment. Although Iruka wasn't aware of all the details, the Hokage had thought it prudent to inform the teacher of his best friend's demise to see his reactions and test his loyalty, but the twelve-year-old was beginning to think this Iruka...what was his last name?...was just an ordinary guy who only thought he'd known his friend.

"Well?" the impatient teacher snapped. "I'm waiting."

Naruto rolled his eyes and decided to test the man himself. "I'll say it once and only once: your so-called friend was a fake. He played you and his fiance like cheap violins that he had no problems throwing away once he was finished." _'Just like Itachi...'_

"That's not—"

"Yes," the boy insisted, "it is. What yo don't know is that ANBU had been keeping tabs on him for the last five years. Wanna know why?" Without waiting for an answer, Naruto went ahead and told him, "It's because he was strongly suspected of having killed a loyal ninja of the Leaf for doing nothing more than slowing him down."

Iruka gasped. "T-that's not true! That ninja was injured and died because of that! Mizuki didn't do anything to him!"

"Wrong! And how strange that you know _exactly_ which incident I'm talking about. The injuries your comrade sustained were from two different sources, only one of them fatal, and Kakashi Hatake himself used his dogs to track the scent of blood...to one of Mizuki's own kunai!"

"Maybe he just kept the one the enemy used! Ever thought of that!"

Naruto nodded. "Sure, and that's what kept us from formally charging him with murder. It was when we discovered he'd had a meeting with Orochimaru that we knew for sure."

"What are you-?"

"I don't know the details," he interrupted, "but six months ago, Orochimaru and Mizuki apparently met up and exchanged a few...pleasantries. Your friend left with some sort of scroll and Orochimaru left with a smirk. It clearly wasn't even their first meeting. Sure sounded like a partnership to me. How about you, Iruka?"

Iruka couldn't speak. He was in shock.

"Before you convince yourself that the snake did something to alter his mind, let me go ahead and tell you that I was trained by Inoichi Yamanaka himself. That means that I know a few interrogation techniques." Naruto was careful to leave out his relationship with Ibiki, since it wasn't relevant, and anything unnecessary was worth holding back.

"You can...read minds?"

"To a certain extent." He didn't bother explaining further, since he was technically lying. "Turns out he'd been screwed up since before the two of you met. Don't feel bad about not noticing; even the Old Man missed it. Mizuki was just that good at playing games, and several people are dead right now because of that fact, including an innocent kid who just happened to be in the way." He remembered other innocent kids who had just happened to be in the way... "Because of that, when I'd gotten every piece of information I needed from him, I did what I've done to many other traitors: I killed him."

Iruka, taller than he was by a good two-and-a-half feet, just closed his eyes and slumped his shoulders as though a sudden weight had settled on them. The expression of grief on his face nearly made Naruto flinch. He was so used to masks of all kinds that it took him by surprise to see something raw and unhidden. "Then, it was all fake. Our friendship never meant anything to him."

Naruto disagreed and figured Iruka had passed his little test well enough to let him know what else he'd figured out. It wouldn't change facts, but it might ease the teacher's mind just a bit. "No, on the contrary. Before he met up with Orochimaru, it looked to me like he'd really been trying to change things. There was a part of himself that you helped create—the part that his fiance loved and that loved her back, the thing that made him want to teach children, and what drove him to essentially see your life as a guide for his own. That piece of himself was your friend, and it simply died years ago after Mizuki first met up with the poison that is Orochimaru. True, Mizuki was never an angel and he committed horrible deeds, but he would've snapped a long time ago if it hadn't been for you. What you did probably saved lives. So, I'd have to say no, your friendship meant everything to him, even if he didn't know it."

By this point, the scarred instructor had covered his face with his hands. "But why? Why did you have to kill him? Couldn't you have just locked him up?"

"Weren't you listening? There was nothing left of your friend to lock up. It was over years before I came on the scene."

Iruka nodded and removed his hands to show a tear-streaked face. Although he still couldn't look Naruto in the eyes, the blonde figured it was good enough for now.

After all, they still had one other issue to discuss. "Now, as for Sakura, can you honestly stand there and tell me that anything I said was wrong?"

The Chuunin's eyes snapped back to his. "I...no, what you said wasn't wrong. It's _how_ you said it that I really have a problem with."

Naruto thought about it for a moment and decided...he had no idea what this older man was alluding to. "She's a soldier now, isn't she?"

"Yes."

"Then, why? That's how we're trained at ANBU. Sticks in your head better when there's a little pain and humiliation built in."

"But it's your sensei's job to train her! Not yours!"

Now the twelve-year-old had to scoff. "I'll be shocked if he doesn't do worse. He's very big on teamwork and has been known to put people in the hospital for not falling into line. Trust me; I'm doing her a favor."

Iruka made a sound in the back of his throat that was probably some sort of protest.

Naruto held up his hand. "However, I'll try to tone it down some. Ok?"

The teacher looked frustrated but said "Ok" with a grimace, as though guessing it was all he'd get.

Which was perfectly true, so, with that, they both headed back to class, where Sakura was sitting in the same seat with a rather...irritated expression on her face.

_'Oh,boy. This girl's gonna be such a problem.'_ "Calm down, will you?" he said out loud. It was far more polite than what he could have said.

But Sakura was apparently unaware of that. Her output of KI (it wasn't much to begin with, but still) increased rather than decreased.

Naruto was not impressed. He'd sensed more from the Fire Lord's wife's cat. "You're throwing that KI again, and it's rather pathetic. Now, cut it out."

She actually smirked at that—not the brightest thing she could've done. It reminded him of the look Mizuki had had on his face after murdering a little girl, who had been out past her bedtime.

Did this brand-new Genin actually think she had what it took to bring him down? Naruto found it annoying. So much for the polite response. Now it was time to play hardball. "Please," he scoffed as he answered her unspoken arrogance, "Killing Intent refers to the desire to end another's life or force another to submit. Since you literally can't do either..."

"Are you some sort of sexist pig or something?"

The ANBU frowned in confusion. He honestly had no clue where she'd gotten that idea, but he found it ridiculous and started laughing. Nice Naruto was dying a fast death with her around. "First of all," he managed to get out, "I am not, nor have I ever been, a 'sexist pig.' Is that really...ha!...the only thing you can think to say?" Then, abruptly, he stopped laughing. "Second, if you're going to threaten someone, make sure you actually have what it takes to back it up."

Her jaws snapped shut with an audible click, and he pulled a nutrition bar from his pocket in the hopes that getting her mouth to work on eating would stop it from talking. Besides, she looked like a prisoner-of-war, and he told her so.

Of course, that pissed her off. "Stop insulting me!" she snapped.

"Stop making it easy," he said with a raised eyebrow. How was that an insult, anyway? Wasn't that what girls like her wanted—to look half-dead?

"I-"

"Geez, are you two _still_ at it?"

Naruto turned around in surprise. He hadn't sensed the Nara's arrival at all, or, he noticed, Iruka's absence. Arguing with Sakura was turning out to be a rather distracting habit. Was that a good thing or a bad thing...?

"Go get some boxing gloves or something," the Nara finished.

The chubby boy next to him—Choji, Naruto remembered—chuckled.

Naruto blinked. "Who are you?" He didn't ask because he didn't know but rather because he was curious about how the dark-haired twelve-year-old would answer. The kid's IQ was rumored to be very high, after all. The ANBU would pay attention to every twitch, every flinch, the Nara made.

"Shikamaru Nara, world's laziest Genin," he said (Translation: "I enjoy rest and relaxation, but I'm smart enough to pass with minimal effort, so don't underestimate me.") Naruto saw the slight smirk as Shikamaru then asked, "You?" He'd caught on to the blonde's game and offered him information in return for some.

"Naruto Uzumaki, next Hokage." (Translation: "I'm serious and take my profession seriously, and I fully intend to be your boss one day, so it'd be in your best interests not to get on my bad side.") He was finding it a lot of fun going back and forth like this!

And then, Ino just had to go and ruin it. "Sorry to break your bubble, creep, but Sasuke's going to be the next Hokage. A joke like you doesn't stand a chance."

_'Oh, geez, not this again! What is it with these girls? I swear, it's a freakin' cult!...and I think Kakashi has one in the village somewhere, too...'_ Still, the look of absolute conviction on her face made him laugh. These girls were so clueless! "Hate to break it to ya, but all I have to do is make Jounin before the Old Man can legally make me his successor whenever he decides I'm ready for it." Truthfully, that would probably be at least a few years away, but he knew he could make it if he kept working hard. Sasuke, however, didn't want it at _all._

"W-what?"

"Besides, Sasuke's not really all that great." It was true; he'd seen the boy practicing, and it just wasn't all that impressive. Oh, sure, he could pull off some neat tricks, but the hard work needed to advance to such a high position and the dedication to lead others not of his clan weren't there.

The girls didn't agree with him, though and literally began screaming at the top of their lungs at him for daring to speak such "blasphemy." And the more he explained why their crush wasn't interested in the job, the more they screamed.

Until Sasuke himself showed up and agreed that such a thing would be nothing more than "a waste of my time. I also have no interest in wasting my time on two useless 'kunoichi' who don't even take the shinobi lifestyle remotely seriously."

_'Ah! Poetic justice! Just look at their faces! Hehehe!'_ Naruto thought to himself as he watched Ino and Sakura's reactions.

But the Uchiha wasn't finished just yet; he had one more, massive bomb to drop. "The only one in this class I'd even _consider_ marrying is Hinata."

Naruto paid no more attention. He was too busy trying not to laugh. To distract himself from the rising guffaws, he pulled out a copy of the _Kokinshu_. Darn thing was hard for him to understand, and Kakashi was bound to quiz him on the poems about Autumn later on in the week. _'Let's see...Chisato's poem is about a guy looking at the moon, but what the heck? That's the only part I get! I swear I've read this one five times and I still can't understand the darn thing!'_

A few moments later, he sensed Sasuke making his way over to read along with him. "Naruto," he said in his dry monotone, "you mind?"

"Not at all. Maybe you can help me out a bit, actually."

The boy seemed amused...vaguely. "With what?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Well, ya see...I'm just not all that good with books and stuff. My brother makes me read and study poetry all the time, though, and it's really hard."

Sasuke looked surprised. "You're having trouble? But you seem intelligent enough."

"Different kind of intelligence. I can speak and write 'properly' and read well enough, but books aren't ever going to be my thing. I read when I have to and nothing more. Stuff gives me a headache..."

To his relief, the Uchiha merely nodded and sat down beside him. "Which one?"

Naruto pointed.

"A thousand thoughts of tender vague regret

Crowd on my soul, what time I stand and gaze

On the soft-shining autumn moon; and yet

Not to me only speaks her silv'ry haze."

Sasuke blinked once, twice, three times after reading it out loud. "I...don't get it."

"Yeah, me, neither!" Naruto said with a sigh. "I mean, I know he's lookin' at the moon, but what the heck is up with all that 'thoughts of tender vague regret' stuff?"

"No, I mean, how in the world is that confusing? All he's doing is looking up at the moon while he thinks about all the things he regrets doing."

That sounded waaaay too easy. "...Are you sure?"

His...friend rolled his eyes. "Yes, Naruto. I'm pretty sure."

"Then, what's up with that last line?"

"That's still referring to the moon. He's saying-"

"What are you two reading?" a shrill, strident voice demanded.

Naruto jerked slightly as he barely held himself back from tossing a live weapon her way. Her voice...it hurt! "The _Kokinshu_," he growled out. Seriously, he was going to have a headache now!

Sasuke did his best to ignore her, but the blonde ANBU caught the grimace and flinch. He very likely had a slight headache now, too.

"And what, pray tell, is that?" she insisted, in the same, jarring voice.

The Uchiha lost his patience. "Geez, Sakura! Don't you know _anything_? It's one of the classics, for crying out loud!"

Naruto did nothing but sigh discreetly and prompt her memory with the word "poetry." That did it, and the female sat back down with clear embarrassment. Naruto and Sasuke merely exchanged a look and returned to studying the poems until the blonde felt a familiar presence heading their way.

_'Kakashi...I was wondering when you'd show up. You're only late when you either want to test someone's patience or just really, really want to piss someone off. I wonder which one it is today.'_

"Meet me on the roof," Kakashi ordered in a tone Naruto recognized as amusement.

_'Definitely wanted to piss us off,'_ he decided.

He and Sasuke looked at each other with raised eyebrows before simultaneously standing and following their new teacher to the roof. They didn't feel the need to speak to each other as they took their seats, but both noted the absence of Sakura and left plenty of room for her to sit...whenever she decided to show up.

Naruto decided to take a "peek" and see what she was up to. His blue eyes lost focus for a moment as he locked on to her chakra and noticed her eying the back of his chair. Immediately, the ANBU snapped himself back to reality.

So, she knew.

He shrugged, neither caring nor wanting to care. The injury on his back wasn't particularly dangerous or painful, so he'd been ignoring it. Besides, B-ranked missions and higher tended to result in blood loss. Naruto had been used to it for awhile now. And Kyuubi never healed anything that it deemed "unnecessary."

The twelve-year-old thought back to how he'd gotten it...

"_Falcon," the Old Man had commanded him, "one hour ago, three Kumo shinobi broke into the Uchiha complex and stole approximately twenty scrolls. They contained details regarding both the Sharingan and many of the Uchiha clan's signature jutsu, as well as many of their copied ones. There is no one better at finding ninja than you, so you and Cat will leave immediately to retrieve them."_

_A teammate? That was rare. The mission must be rather sensitive or risky, then. Still, at least his partner was someone he knew and trusted. "Yes, sir. Any prisoners?"_

"_None. Leave no witnesses and no evidence behind. We do not want a repeat of the Hyuuga incident, so there must be nothing directly linking us to their demise."_

"_Sir, the Raikage will know what happened, won't he?"_

_The Hokage nodded. "Yes, but he won't be able to prove it and most certainly will not dare to openly admit he sent a covert team to steal an ally's scrolls. It would send a horrible message to his other allies and likely leave him with none. Any evidence, however, and he'd simply lie his way out of it. No bodies and no proof means there's nothing he can do."_

"_But couldn't we just steal the scrolls back instead?"_

"_No, Falcon. As underhanded as they are, the Raikage's actions could easily trigger a war." He sighed. "I had hoped A would be wiser than his father, but he, too, is a fool. We have to send him a message that we will not stand for such attacks and will retaliate with lethal force."_

"_Yes, sir," Naruto said softly. He'd killed before, but he didn't like it and truly wanted to spare lives when he could. The Hokage knew this and was never upset when the blonde asked. The Sandaime had even stated that it was the mark of a good leader when he shied away from using excessive force, so Naruto never hesitated to ask if there was another way that avoided death. But there was no other way this time._

_He bowed to the Hokage and left, heading straight towards the gate, where he met up with Cat. "Hey, Tenzou."_

"_Naruto," the ANBU captain greeted back._

"_Just give me a minute to get my bearings," the young boy replied. He knelt on the ground and placed his hand directly on the dirt as he closed his eyes and focused. The blonde sensed a faint trail coming from the opposite end of the village and going in a wide circle around the walls. The three Kumo shinobi had managed to avoid all the patrols and were now making a direct run straight towards Cloud. Naruto noted that they were several miles away already and that their opponents were two Chuunin and one Jounin. He stood. "Found 'em."_

"_Good. Let's go."_

_Without even a bit of wind, the two of them took off after their enemies, following them by a faster trail that only Leaf ninja would know. It wasn't particularly difficult to catch up to them because of that, and the three, sword-clad ninja were soon in sight—so close, in fact, that the two ANBU could hear their conversation._

"_Rokurou, what's our ETA?"_

"_We'll be at the border in four hours and twenty-three minutes, Yasu."_

_Rokurou cursed._

"_What's wrong?"_

"_We're being followed, Youta."_

_Immediately, all three of them stopped leaping through trees and turned around to face their pursuers. The one called Rokurou growled. "ANBU...should've known it was too easy."_

_Tenzou signaled that he would be handling the leader; the others were Naruto's business._

_Youta didn't seem nearly as worried. He scoffed. "This'll be easy. One of them's just a kid."_

"_Hold your tongue! He wouldn't have that mask if he couldn't handle it. Konoha's ANBU are no joke, no matter how old they look."_

_The nin known as Youta simply scoffed again and said, "Yeah, yeah. Don't worry; we've got this one."_

_Naruto smiled behind his mask; he loved being underestimated._

_Youta and Yasu glanced at each other and exchanged some hand signals before attacking simultaneously with drawn swords._

_Falcon had to roll his eyes. Seriously? They were just going to charge straight at him? The two dark-skinned teens had no clue what they were doing. Granted, he wasn't the strongest around, but ANBU were ANBU for a reason, and they should've heeded their leader's advice._

_Letting his eyes go unfocused, he got a good look at the confidence their chakra showed. He also caught the slightly higher concentration of energy in their hands holding their weapons. Clearly, the only thing they were prepared for was his immediate death. Idiots. _

_All Naruto had to do was grab their weapons with his wind chakra-infused hands and, suddenly, there _**were** _no more weapons. The blades lay in shattered pieces upon the ground._

_The two Cloud shinobi pulled back and eyed in shock the hilts and small bits of metal that remained. "Ninjutsu," one whispered to the other._

_Which, of course, Naruto heard, and it made him chuckle slightly. Kumo ninja specialized in lightening-based attacks; he was wind. They could send bolts at him all day and it wouldn't do any good. Did they not realize that was how he'd broken their swords? _

_Apparently not, he realized, as they both began forming hand signs for Lightening Dragon—a jutsu that even Kakashi hadn't gotten around to copying yet, since so few ever mastered it. He wondered if these two had..._

_The two half-formed creatures flying at him confirmed they hadn't. Still, that ninjutsu was the most dangerous of the dragon techniques for a reason; it was nearly impossible to dodge. So, Naruto just stood there and waited for a quarter of a second before Replacing himself with a log just as they hit._

"_Did we get 'im?" one of the enemies asked._

"_No, I think he's still around here somewhere. Be on your guard."_

_Really, was this the best Kumo had to offer? 'Cause those guys must've bribed someone for their Chuunin jackets. True, he was above such a level regardless, but not that far. Two-against-one should've made it a challenge. _

'Or are they just inexperienced?'_ he mused as they spotted him and began throwing fireballs at him. The fact that he was unable to stop those attacks with anything wind-natured and was being forced to dodge multiple bursts of flame at once should have drastically increased the likelihood of him being hit. However, he was from Konohagakure; he'd been trained by Itachi Uchiha himself—the prodigy of the clan that had invented the Phoenix Sage Fire Jutsu. Did they really think he wouldn't know the precise trajectory of each attack?_

_Naruto sighed and decided he'd had enough. Quickly, he Body Flickered behind Yasu and sank a kunai into the back of the teen's skull, killing him instantly._

"_Yasu!" Youta called out as he saw his friend fall to the ground beside him. "What have you done?" he screamed at the ANBU he and Yasu had so foolishly thought they could play around with._

_But even as he shouted obscenities at the Leaf nin before him, a voice behind him spoke. "You should have listened to your teacher." Then, Naruto ended his life just as abruptly and mercifully. He took no pleasure in killing._

_Falcon looked up to see Cat and the Kumo Jounin still fiercely going at it; apparently, they were evenly matched, or so it seemed. Naruto hadn't exactly been paying attention, so he wouldn't know. Even as he watched, however, Rokurou suddenly smirked._

"_I know I can't beat the two of you," he panted, "but I can sure make you regret ever coming after us." With that, the Jounin unexpectedly shot towards the younger ANBU._

"_Falcon!" Tenzou yelled._

_But the enemy's speed was no joke, and Naruto barely managed to avoid a lethal hit in the chest. Instead, the blade passed through his shoulder. "AHH!" he screamed. Then, he brought his hands up and broke Rokurou's sword the same way he'd destroyed the those of the two Chuunin._

_Cat took care of the rest of it after taking his ninjato and slicing off the man's head. At once, he was at the boy's side, looking at the piece of sharp steel still poking through his subordinate's shoulder. "Naruto..."_

"_Yeah...?" he replied through tightly-clenched teeth._

"_You really need to learn how to use a sword."_

_Naruto couldn't help it; he started to laugh._

That had been three days ago. The mission had turned out to be a success, and the weapon had missed hitting anything vital, meaning that Kyuubi wasn't going to heal all of it of its own free will. And Naruto also had no interest in going to the hospital for a couple of popped stitches. Obviously, Sakura's sharp eyes had caught sight of a little blood.

Big deal.

Kakashi simply rolled his eyes at the girl's absence and took out a book Naruto easily recognized.

"Icha Icha? Really, Sensei, what would your wife say?" the blonde asked with a hidden smirk.

His older brother looked up with a peculiar gleam in his eye. "She'd say...'I'm feeling like page 72 tonight.'"

The twelve-year-old couldn't help but blush and sputter. Kakashi was such a pervert!

Sasuke, however, was chuckling.

Everything stopped the moment the door to the roof opened and Sakura stumbled into the sunlight. Sasuke and Naruto scooted closer to the end of the step in the hopes that she'd leave plenty of room between them and her, but as soon as the girl noticed the extra space, her eyes narrowed into evil little slits.

As soon as she sat down (much closer than they wanted), Kakashi began the introductions. "Tell me your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and any dreams for the future. Here, I'll start us off. My name is Kakashi Hatake, I like...well...my dislikes, hmmm...I have lots of hobbies, and my dreams for the future are none of your business."

Sasuke's eye twitched. "All you told us was your name..."

Kakashi grinned. "Now it's your turn," he said as he pointed to Sakura.

Her eyes narrowed even further, something Naruto had thought impossible. "My name is Sakura Haruno," she began. "I like...w-well, I like reading."

The blonde boy rolled his eyes. _'Riiiight.'_

"I dislike a certain _creep_ and Ino-pig."

Naruto merely polished his fingernails on his black jacket. It'd only been a few hours and he'd already gotten first place on someone's hate list! That took mad skills!

"My hobbies include, um...well, my dreams for the future..."

The ANBU waited with bated breath for her to continue, but it didn't happen. He blinked in confusion. Sure, she was a fangirl, but surely she had more to her life than that!

Kakashi's blink mirrored his own. "You next, dark-haired...child-thing."

Sasuke glared vaguely before he began his introductions. "My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I like my family and training. I dislike everything else." He shot a grimace at Sakura, who seemed blissfully unaware. "I don't have any dreams, but I do have goals that _will_ be reality: to rebuild my clan to its former glory and to find out the truth of what happened that night."

Naruto knew exactly which night he was talking about, too, because it was the same one he hadn't been able to get out of his mind for more than five years. The haunting nightmares had given him such a bad case of insomnia that he'd literally been forced to learn a genjutsu designed to get infants to sleep. It was the only one he could do and the only thing that worked. He was consequently glad that Inoichi had been able to erase that entire day from Sasuke and the other survivors' minds. The kids did not need to remember and should never find out.

Kakashi smiled. "Alright! Now it's your turn, Naru-chan!"

Naruto growled low in his throat. His brother knew better than to call him that, especially in public! "My name's Naruto. I like a lot of stuff, I dislike politics, my hobbies are whatever I want them to be, and my dreams for the future are to become a Jounin and then the Hokage."

Their sensei, perhaps sensing he had earned himself a nasty prank, protested. "Ah, Naruto, don't be like that!"

"Why not? I don't wanna be here, and I have no problems making sure you know it."

"Hmm. You always did have a short temper, but isn't this a little extreme?"

"No! A freakin' GENIN? The Old Man made me—ME—a Genin! Do you have any idea how insulting that is? I've completed TWO A- and THREE B-level missions in the last month!"

His brother's eye turned sad. "Yes, and they were all solo, weren't they?"

"Well, except for one, of _course_ they were! Why do I need teammates when I've got my Shadow Clones? We work together perfectly. This whole assignment is...it's just a waste of time!"

"And that's your problem, Naruto. You can't be a Chuunin, much less a Jounin, without the ability to work with others. You have to be able to lead, but you're too used to being alone. A Hokage needs more than just strength, you know. He also needs to have the ability to guide, inspire, and play well with others. Your mind's been screwed up ever since..._that_, and Hokage-sama's trying to help."

He scoffed. "Help me with what?"

"Healing."

Naruto couldn't help but flinch at that. Inoichi had already tried to "help" once and had done nothing but make the memories worse. Therapy had helped somewhat, but he still couldn't handle being around too many people at once. Already, just with Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi on three sides, he was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic. He really needed to get away soon, before the images came back...for what felt like the thousandth time that day already. As far as Naruto was concerned, staying away from others was the only thing that could help.

(He pointedly ignored the tiny voice in the back of his head that reminded him he'd gotten over some of his flashbacks thanks to being around Sasuke's family, even if only as an unnoticed guard in the background.)

And what was Kakashi thinking, saying that out loud? He neither needed nor wanted his teammates to know anything about him that wasn't absolutely necessary! And he sure didn't want their pity if they ever found out! The ANBU slyly took a glance at Sasuke and saw, to his relief and irritation, that there was no pity but instead a burning curiosity.

Then, he looked over at Sakura...and shivered. He'd never met a cannibal before, but from the look on her face, there was a first time for everything.

…...

_May 5, 5:00 a.m._

Naruto blinked blearily as he stared at his clock. It was time to get up. Kakashi had mentioned something about a second test today and told them to meet at 6:00 a.m. at their team's private training grounds, but the blonde sincerely doubted he'd show up on time. Still, it was a golden opportunity to get some training in and perhaps learn a bit more about his teammates.

So, reluctantly, he got up and quietly grabbed his clothes. Idate was on a mission outside the village, but it had become a habit for him to be as quiet as possible, so he entered their shared bathroom without a sound and washed up. He put on the outfit he usually wore in town and carefully made sure that even the smallest glimpse of skin was covered. Then, he put on Eye Black as a finishing touch.

That early in the morning, he found he wasn't hungry. However, he made sure to take some bentos with him, since he'd certainly work up an appetite. Plus, he got the feeling that Sakura and Sasuke would follow his instructions to the letter and not eat breakfast.

"'Don't eat it or you'll throw up,' he says. Yeah, right," Naruto scoffed. "What's your game, Kakashi?" he muttered to himself as he leapt through the dark trees and headed towards the training grounds. As he traveled, he noticed that it was sprinkling ever so slightly, and he stopped just short of the village to enjoy it.

In recent years, he'd come to love the rain; there was something peaceful about it, something that lifted his spirits even more than bright and sunny days. That feeling had started after Inoichi had so thoroughly failed to erase his memory of the Uchiha massacre and Naruto had gone to Ibiki to recover.

"_Ikki?" the tiny blonde said as he stared out the window of his room. The mass funeral for all the massacred Uchiha had just ended an hour ago, and Naruto found himself starting to fully accept the fact that they weren't ever coming back._

"_What is it, Naru-chan?" his scarred brother, who was sitting right next to him, asked._

"_Do you think the sky's sad, too? Is that why it's crying?"_

_Ibiki had merely smiled and told him, "I think it's sad when we're sad, but I don't think it cries."_

"_Then, what's it doing?" He couldn't help his childlike tone of voice. His brain had been damaged, and it would take some time for him to return to normal._

_His brother paused for a moment. "When I was about your age, my sister, the person whom I loved the most, died. She had been sick with some sort of disease her entire life, something even Tsunade-sama couldn't fix, and I...held her hand as she took her last breath. It was raining that day, too, and I asked my mother the same thing you just asked me."_

"_What did she say?" Naruto asked, voice cracking._

"_She said that the sky poured down water to comfort us..." Ibiki turned toward the child. "...to wash all our tears away. She said it was God's way of throwing kisses from the sky...to help us heal."_

_Tears fell from the seven-year-old's eyes as he listened. But he had one more question he wanted to ask, though it was hard to get out through the strange feeling in his throat. "What...a-about w-w-when it doesn't...rain?"_

"_When it's sunny...the light reminds us that there is still life even in the midst of death, and that darkness can't last forever. When it's cold, it's to make it so that we have to draw closer to the people that are left in order to stay warm. And when it's stormy, well, sometimes I think God is just plain mad, but Mom said it's Him showing us that He's in charge and we aren't. That's what I believe, Naru-chan, and there's nothing on Earth or in Hell that can change my mind."_

_Naruto cried as Ibiki held him and the rain lulled him into his first dreamless sleep since the incident._

He'd loved the rain ever since and often found himself holding out his hand to catch the "kisses" his brother had told him about. The ANBU wasn't sure about this "God" person, but he wanted to believe that even someone as lowly as he was mattered. Naruto wanted to be more than just a living prison or some sort of weapon, and the thought that someone that powerful would willingly wipe away his tears _just because_ made him feel a little less empty.

Ten minutes later, the sprinkling had ended, the sun was starting to rise, and Naruto went on his way thinking that, just maybe, it wouldn't be so bad to be around other people, after all.

* * *

><p><em>5:15 a.m.<em>

Ibiki heard him in the bathroom, took in the sounds of the door closing, and listened to the silence after the boy had gone. He really, really hoped this plan they'd come up with worked. Everything else had failed spectacularly, and this was sort of their idea of a last-ditch effort.

The bald-headed man had nearly killed Inoichi for what he'd done to Naruto. Accident or not, that was his _son_, and his blood screamed for revenge even now. At the same time, those feelings were precisely the reason he and Inoichi had been able to somewhat repair their bond. It was the closest thing to a love/hate relationship Ibiki had ever had, a fact that he found darkly amusing.

After all, they, too, had once been like father and son. Many people assumed the rift between them had been caused by Naruto's existence, that their disagreement on the boy's value as a human being had driven them apart, but that wasn't true. Or, rather, Inoichi had hated Naruto and it had been a source of contention, but they had parted ways before that. The simple fact of the matter was that his former sensei had a dark, dark secret.

Ibiki stood up and stretched, contemplating all the ways the day could go wrong (and probably would) with everything that had to be done.

Naruto had to pass Kakashi's test. Would he? It was regarding teamwork, something the blonde was...less than proficient in, considering his reluctance to work with more than one person at a time. Not that the interrogator could blame him, all things considered, but still, the little runt needed to loosen up if he expected to pass.

Naruto had to keep from killing his possible teammates. Sasuke was mostly a loner, but he was also very competitive and driven to succeed. If the dark-haired preteen made it some sort of game, the Uzumaki (who took all missions seriously) would be tempted to throw him through a tree. However, Sakura Haruno presented the biggest problem. She was an immature fangirl with no concept of reality, and her inability to keep her mouth shut would drive the blonde up the wall in no time. A crazy Naruto was a _bad_ Naruto; those two words mixed like gas and a match.

He had to meet with Inoichi. Unfortunately, the Yamanaka was the kid's therapist. Fortunately, the man had changed his mind about the boy somewhere along the way, so they probably wouldn't end up knocking each other's teeth out.

But before that..._wonderful_ meeting could take place, Ibiki had a job to do. A missing-nin from Iwa had been caught just a few miles east of one of Fire Country's border villages. Since the Hidden Leaf Village had no alliance with Hidden in the Rocks, it was his duty to complete an assessment of the young woman to see if she could somehow be integrated into their forces, civilian or otherwise. It largely depended on her reasons for leaving, but if everything went well, she could become a probationary citizen by the end of the week.

With that in mind, Ibiki reluctantly yanked his covers away and stood up. He felt the loss of his high-end feather mattress immediately and nearly cried in disappointment. It was a new design, imported straight from the Land of Iron, and made it feel as though he were sleeping on air. Also, he was currently the only person in all of Fire to have the mattress. Not even the Daimyo had managed to scrounge one up yet, and the only reason Ibiki had gotten ahold of one was because he had recently taken a vacation in that country. He'd sealed it up in a scroll and—presto!—the world's comfiest bed was his.

He was practically cursing the clock that was making him leave it behind and flung his clothes on in a grumpy rage. So what if they were wrinkled? He was dressed, wasn't he! Although, if Anko saw him acting in such a way, she would doubtless make fun of him. But he was her boss, so if she wanted to keep her job, she'd tone it down at least a little.

With that thought (more like vain hope) in mind, he grabbed a few rice balls and headed out the door. Unlike Naruto, he chose to walk. Why not? The day was beautiful, the sprinkling had ended, the birds were singing...oh, who was he kidding? The sun was barely up! _He_ was barely up! All that worrying last night had cost the interrogator some serious sleep, and no matter how badly he wanted to crawl back into his _gorgeous_ feather bed, he couldn't.

Darn it.

The oldest Morino walked through the trees in a dark and stubborn mood, even as the sun began throwing stunning colors upon the world. In fact, it wasn't until three hours later that his attitude began to change, and the reason for that difference was simple: His and Inoichi's meeting was going to take place very soon.

Ibiki left his office with a scroll containing various paperwork in hand; the kunoichi had passed the preliminary assessment, but she had categorically refused to enter into their ninja ranks. Apparently, the woman had had too much death thrown at her and simply wanted to live the rest of her days in peace as an ordinary civilian, even if it meant having her chakra permanently sealed off. The scarred man, however, had offered her a compromise: a position as an academy teacher, a daycare worker, or a secretary in the Hokage's offices. Should Miu accept, she would immediately undergo a thorough mental screening and a probation lasting anywhere from six months to two years.

He figured he'd give her a few days to think it over. No need to rush such a monumental decision.

And he needed to hurry so he wouldn't be late.

Not ten minutes later, the interrogator had arrived at his former sensei's flower shop. He'd been standing there for two of those minutes, debating the wisdom of simply walking away versus the necessity of finding a solution for a boy who could barely look at most people without feeling somehow panicked. Fingers clenching and unclenching, the bald man finally opened the door and walked in.

"Good morning! Welcome to Yamanaka Flowe—Ibiki? Is that you?" a feminine voice greeted.

"Yes, it's me, Tomomi. I'm looking for your husband. He around, by any chance?"

Her grey eyes blinked for a moment (she was just a bit scatterbrained) before she put her finger on her chin. "Hmmm...I think he was in the plant nursery last time I saw him, but then she said something about a meeting, so he's probably there now..."

Ibiki resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yeah, that meeting's with me. I'll just go look around for him, ok?"

She smiled and bobbed her blonde head. "Ok!"

He gave her a tight-lipped grin and headed around to the back, where a small shed was located. Sure enough, a tall, blonde figure was just inside the door, tending to some plant-looking thing. "Yo."

Inoichi jumped in the air and pulled off a pair of gloves as soon as he saw his old student. "Ibiki! I wasn't sure if you were coming or not, but I'm glad you did."

An uncertain hum was his only answer.

"Um, well, let's head to my office, ok?"

"Sure."

The both of them walked back inside the shop and headed up a set of stairs concealed behind the register. That was Inoichi's house, and it was unique in the fact that the other members of his clan lived spread out in the rest of the village. Unlike most large families, they had no clan compound, as they rightly believed it benefited the village more to live among the people. But each and every Yamanaka still answered to the family leader for nearly everything from marriage contracts to starting up new businesses. They were lucky Inoichi was hardly a tyrant like he'd heard certain _others _were.

The house was well-decorated, probably by Tomomi, and featured several paintings on the walls. Ibiki saw one...two...three bedrooms as they walked through, one of which had once been his. He took a brief peek into the room to see how it looked now and saw, to his shock, that they hadn't changed a thing since he'd moved out more than ten years ago. _'Why?'_ he wondered as he stopped in his tracks.

"Didn't seem right to change it," Inoichi said in his ear.

Ibiki jumped. "W-what do you mean?"

The blonde just shrugged. "C'mon. Office is at the end of the hall."

They arrived to what had once been a storage room. The scarred Morino could remember having seen random, stacked boxes full of clothes and various out-of-season or -style items, but all that had been cleared out and replaced with a nice-looking desk, some bookshelves, and some chairs. It was both simple and nice—much nicer, he had to admit, than the thing he had back at Torture and Interrogation.

To his surprise, Inoichi didn't sit behind his desk but rather sat in one of the various chairs in the room, pulling out another for Ibiki to do the same.

"First things first," his old boss started out, "I have to say that I'm...I'm sorry..for what I did all those years ago."

Ibiki shifted uncomfortably. It wasn't an unexpected topic, but it was definitely one he hadn't wanted to deal with just yet. "For what?" he asked, in a last-ditch hope that it wasn't _that_ topic, after all.

Inoichi just looked at him. "I think you know exactly what I mean."

He looked away, not wanting to acknowledge the truth behind that statement.

The clan head sighed and looked down. "I also wanted to thank you for never...telling anyone about it. Even Tomomi doesn't know, even though she's _sure_ your leaving was my fault. What I did was wrong and I definitely would have deserved punishment. You would've been right in informing the Hokage, but you didn't. You didn't tell anyone, and for that, I'm very grateful."

Ibiki closed his eyes. "I really don't want to talk about it. Please. We both did and said things we weren't supposed to. There's no going back and fixing it now, so let's just...bury it."

But Inoichi shook his head. "You know that doesn't work. Burying things is the worst way to deal with problems, and this is the first time we've spoken in private in more than a decade. We've put this off long enough, and you know it."

Something inside the 27-year-old, something old and bitter, cracked. "Oh, really? And how do you suggest we 'fix' this, hmm? This isn't some sort of..._art project_ you can just paint over! Might as well bury it, seeing as how _I've already buried HIM!_" He was shouting now, but he couldn't seem to stop. "What do you wanna do, _dig him up? 'Cause I'm all for that!_ You remember where he's buried, don't you? You know, that little plot next to my grandparents? C'mon! Grab a shovel and let's go! We've got plenty of time; God knows my _**father's not going anywhere!**_"

Inoichi hung his head. "I know," he whispered. "I visit it every week. I can't...forget what I've done. But," he stated as he lifted his head and looked Ibiki straight in the eyes, "even though I know it was wrong, I can't bring myself to regret it."

"_What?"_ Ibiki hissed.

"You know what he was better than I do—an abusive drunk who not only not only beat his wife and children but also was directly responsible for his wife's death and nearly caused yours."

"He was my father!"

"He was a murderer!"

"_**So are you!**_" he shouted back as he stood, flinging the chair behind him as he did so.

Inoichi followed his example and stood, too. "Are you telling me you wouldn't have done the same thing if Idate had been in danger? Because, if your father had lived, he would probably be beating your brother right now! And what about Naruto? Are you saying that you wouldn't do whatever it takes to keep _your_ adopted son safe?"

Ibiki shoved his former sensei against a bookcase in anger. The chair fell to the side with a loud bang, and he held Inoichi by his throat while he growled. "You killed my father. Your reasons don't matter to me, _Sensei_, because if there's one thing I've learned from _my_ adopted son, it's that even a dead-beat dad's better than a _**dead**_ dad! All I had to do was get custody of Idate to protect him; he didn't have to die!"

"Except," the clan head gasped, "you n...never w-would've...done it!"

"I would've!" He squeezed harder.

"N-not un...til it was...too..._late_!"

Ibiki let go of him abruptly and watched as the blonde slid to the floor. "I guess we'll never know, will we?"

His former boss coughed and held his throat. "No, y-you forget; I did your mental assessment. I knew you better than you knew yourself," he rasped. "It wasn't until you'd joined the Interrogation Department that you had stopped shying away from confrontation, and even then, it took an hour of mental preparation just to sucker a confession out of a suspect. You were in no condition to do anything."

The Special Jounin grabbed the chair and righted it before sitting in it again. He sighed tiredly, as all the anger suddenly drained out of him. "Maybe," he admitted, "but it was still my decision, not yours, to make. It was always mine, and you took that away from me."

Inoichi didn't even bother to get up. He just sat against the bookshelf and rubbed his throat. "That's the only part I regret. That's the only reason I still go and visit that bastard's grave; in spite of everything, he was your father and I overstepped my bounds. But I did it to protect you, and any punishment would've been well worth that."

"Why?" he whispered.

The Yamanaka smiled. "Because, like I told you before, you're my son, and that's something that nothing can ever change."

Ibiki Morino put his head in his hands. "Like Naruto."

"Yes, like Naruto, whom I know you would do anything to protect."

A bit of anger flashed through him at that. "I've thought about killing you, if that tells you anything."

Inoichi chuckled deeply. "It does, indeed." Then, the laughter stopped and the smile vanished. "And because of what happened, I can't blame you. The jutsu to erase his memories should have worked; why it backfired in such a way, I don't know, but at least he's learned to deal with them."

Ibiki scoffed. "Deal? More like, NOT deal. That boy can't walk into a crowd without feeling panicked. He can't sleep at night without that stupid genjutsu. The only reason he can deal with it on missions is because of the control you taught him. Actually, the whole thing makes me wonder if _it_ isn't causing problems just to get a kick out of the whole thing."

"The Kyuubi? Yes, I have to wonder the same thing. In fact, I suspect that it took advantage of the stress Naruto was under that night to send some of its chakra through the seal. That, in turn, would have interfered with the jutsu and...I think it's responsible for those memories being enhanced. There's no proof, of course, and it could've just been the boy's mind itself; each one is different, after all."

"But it makes sense," the Special Jounin interrupted.

Inoichi nodded. "Exactly. And it's only through careful therapy that we've been able to give him some sort of mental wall to deal with everything. But it's still not enough."

"Because the only way he's ever going to get over it is, as we've just...demonstrated, to deal with it. We can't let him push it to the side forever."

"Hence, the team placements."

"Right. Now, if Kakashi can just manage to _pass_ the little boogers, we'll be in business, right...Sensei?"

The blonde's eyes lit up and he smiled gently. "Right, Ibiki. Right."

* * *

><p>Author's Corner (yay! I'm in the corner! I'm in the cor...ner... Wait, that's a bad thing...)<p>

This chapter was a challenge to write. First of all, there were issues with the manga. Secondly, there were issues with my own work (plot continuity and all that). And thirdly, I didn't want it to be too dark and angsty. But, for all of us who have read the manga, there are certain facts that we must accept:

1. There will be angst, typically in the form of PTSD. Sasuke can't have it this time (he didn't witness their deaths, after all). Naruto, however, _did_ see the massacre, so...guess who's got PTSD! (Not too much, of course; just enough to give him an attitude problem for right now.) Besides, Naruto's in ANBU. He wasn't gonna stay soft and cuddly regardless.

2. Plot continuity is not as high on Kishimoto's list as it should be. If you've kept up with the manga, you know exactly what I mean. I have the same problem for different reasons. As any writer could probably tell you, the further you get into a work, the harder it is to keep track of where you wanted to go versus where you really _did_ go. This is where editing comes in handy. I edited the **** outta this thing. If there's anything I missed, please forgive this poor college grad who can barely afford her own apartment, let alone luxuries such as food (*sniffle sniffle*). No, seriously, if I missed something, let me know.

3. Early Sakura—she is perhaps the most realistic of the manga's early characters. I mean, seriously, have any of you gentlemen ever spent time around a twelve-year-old whose crush was nearby? *Whistles* It ain't pretty, let me tell you. I know that because I'm a girl. I was once that age, and...I'm ashamed to say it, but...there are some girls who reeeeeally do think like that. Anyway, I actually like Sakura, so I'm not bashing her. I'm actually making fun of all twelve-year-old girls. Eventually, she'll grow up, and then my fun will be over.

4. Naruto...I can't quite seem to figure the canon character out. He's dumb with books but not with people. He also learns extremely well kinesthetically. I tried to do that description justice. If I succeeded, wonderful! If I didn't, well, better luck next time, right? By the way, keep in mind that he's also only twelve years old; don't take everything he says as the gospel truth. That's why there are two, slightly different viewpoints in this chapter. There are always at least two sides to every story.

Moving on...

Questions you might have:

Kakashi has a wife?

Answer: You shall see, my friends. You shall see.

Danzo/Homura/Koharu—dead or alive?

Answer: Yes.

Sarutobi plans on making Naruto his heir?

Answer: Why not? Mr. Smokestack thinks he's got a few more years under his belt before he's gotta hand over the reigns. If he thinks Naruto will be ready by then, who am I to argue? (Ok, so I'm the writer; big deal.)

Um, yeah, that's it, so, er, BYE!

...No, wait. I wanted to bring something else up, too. I'm thinking about writing another story, a Naruto crossover with the Justice League or something like that. I LOVE reading about how Naruto and Batman piss each other off! But that'll be probably after I'm finished with this. Unless I hit writer's block.

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

_Now_ that's it. BYE!


	8. Taking Me Down

"_Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's hwy people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, rising everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."_

_-Erica Jong_

* * *

><p><em>12:30<em>

"So, how exactly _is _Kakashi planning on getting them to pass? Naruto and teamwork don't mix too well. Besides, he knows the Bell Test, so the whole thing would be pointless."

Ibiki smirked. "I asked hm the exact same thing, and he apparently has a little plan up his sleeves."

Inoichi leaned forward. "Oh? Do tell."

The Special Jounin's grin turned feral. "You know all those pranks the brat's pulled on him over the years?"

The clan head nodded.

"Kakashi's been planning his revenge for a loooong time..."

* * *

><p><em>1:00 p.m.<em>

Kakashi eyed his possible Genin team with amusement. He liked this arrangement very much! Sasuke was just as he'd read—aloof, somewhat cold, highly intelligent, and powerful enough that the title of Chuunin would've fit better. Sakura was just as expected, too—a preteen who had a romanticized view of ninja life, had an IQ of at least 180, and was rather insecure and shallow. Basically, except for the IQ, she was a typical twelve-year-old.

The two of them as Naruto's teammates made for some highly comedic moments. Blondie was in his usual gear (head-to-toe black) and had his usual attitude ("_don't_ touch me") as he stood and glared at Sakura for...something Kakashi had missed. Sasuke was just leaning against a tree and rolling his eyes. If the Copy-nin hadn't known better, he'd think he was looking at a snapshot of his old Genin team, except Rin was Sasuke, Obito was Sakura, and Naruto was Kakashi. Really, it was just _too_ good to pass up getting this team.

He'd just have to ignore his more sadistic tendencies and graduate them. Darn.

Kakashi Body Flickered right next to the Uchiha, who didn't notice, and blatantly eavesdropped on the arguing preteens' conversation.

"I don't care _how_ many A-ranks you've done! You're an arrogant snob!"

"_Arrogant?_ You don't even know me!"

"And YOU don't even know ME!" she screamed back at him.

The Copy-nin still remained unnoticed.

"You wanna bet?"

"Yeah!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Kakashi's eyes practically sparkled with mischief. Did he hear wedding bells in their future? Oh, yes, and the yells were music to his ears! This was his idea of Heaven—someone had finally gotten under the blonde's skin and reduced him to a child his own age! This team would indeed be good for his little brother. But being ignored was beginning to grate on his nerves, so he loudly cleared his throat.

Everything in the clearing stopped and every eye slowly turned in his direction.

Perfect! He was now the center of attention. "As wonderful as all of this bonding is," he drawled, "I think we should probably get started now."

Sakura's mouth opened in a snarl. "YOU'RE LATE!"

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "We've been waiting on _you_, Kakashi."

He quickly whipped out his book and pretended to read. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

The boy growled. "Kakashi! I'm not Gai!"

The Jounin patiently ignored that statement.

Sasuke slapped his forehead. "Can we please get started?" he begged.

Kakashi smiled. "Wonderful idea, small child!"

The Uchiha glared. "And just what are we going to do, anyway?"

"Better not be the bell exercise, Sensei," Naruto advised. "I already know the trick to that one."

He sighed. "Now, now, Naruto...would I ever do something you expect?"

"...You mean, besides the porn?"

That little jerk! "Yes, besides the porn," he replied with a smile and a touch of KI. Darn kid was getting too uppity.

Naruto didn't even blink. "Whatever."

Kakashi gritted his teeth, but the grin never left his face. "_Anyway_, today, we're going to play a little game...called Retrieval."

Even the stoic Sasuke and fuming Sakura blinked in confusion. Naruto just deadpanned, "Oh, happy day."

"Aw, don't be like that, Naruto! Trust me—you'll love it."

"Okay, I'll bite. What are we supposed to do?"

"We-e-e-ell, the first step is to..." He hurriedly pulled out a seal tag from his sleeve, activated it, and slapped it on his brother's forehead before he could react. "...level the playing field a bit."

The boy's blue eyes widened for a moment before he suddenly leaned over and began gasping for breath. "What...did you...do?" he hissed.

"Oh, just lowered your chakra by half..."

"I'll _kill_ you," Naruto snarled as he unsuccessfully tried to peel the paper off. (Too bad for the blonde it would react to Kakashi's chakra _only_.)

"...and took away, say, fifty percent of your chakra control at the same time."

A tiny squeak of rage left Naruto's mouth.

Kakashi took it as some form of shocked, wordless wonder. "I think that'll make it rather hard for you to kill me, too. Hmm."

"KAKASHI!"

"Alright, already, Naruto!" Sakura snapped. "We need to figure out what we're supposed to do!"

The blonde boy fumed but wisely remained silent.

Sakura smirked in wicked glee. "Guess you're not such a hot-shot, after all, Naruto."

Naruto snarled. "Shut up, you pink-haired pansy!"

They argued for another minute or so, until Sakura managed to bop the boy on the back of the head, sending him to the ground. If the ANBU had been at full strength, she could never have managed that, but Naruto was significantly weakened and off-balance. His level was now no higher than his teammates'...for the most part. He'd still have to watch the boy's taijutsu.

The blonde gingerly raised himself up from the ground with a few rude comments. Other than that and a few death-ray glares in her direction, though, he was silent.

Really, those two were so _cute_ together! He couldn't wait to tell Rin! She and Konohamaru would love hearing about every last detail. "Thank you, Sakuta," he said with a gigantic, beaming grin. (She sputtered something about her name being "Sakura," but who cared about such minor details?) "Now, then, you three will be chasing down...this!" he joyously shouted as he pulled out a copy of the most wonderful literature in the world.

"_Icha Icha_? Sensei, are you serious?" Sasuke spat in disgust.

Sakura's jaw dropped. "Aren't those things banned in, like, three whole countries, eighteen cities, and almost every—"

"A-_hem!_"

They all went silent again.

"Good. Now, as I was saying, your mission is to retrieve this _wonderful_ example of what true literature should be from these guys. And it has to be back in my hands by, say, 6:00 p.m."

"...Er, Kakashi, which guys?"

He blinked as though he'd forgotten—which he hadn't, of course. "Oh, right!" Quickly, he pulled out a scroll from his vest and swiped a little blood on it. A burst of chakra later, and a large group of dogs was lounging around his feet.

Naruto slapped his forehead. "Oh, this is a nightmare," he muttered.

"What do you mean, Naruto?"

"You ever tried to catch a squirrel that just drank a shot of caffeine, Sakura?"

"...No, but I can imagine it'd be difficult. What does it have to do with this, though?"

"They're worse," he moaned. "Those are nin-dogs; they know how to use _chakra_."

Sasuke sputtered. "Aw, shi-"

"Now, now, children. Watch your language." He turned to his dogs. "Pakkun, you remember the plan?"

The Copy-nin only paid the slightest attention to the sound of Naruto's whimpering.

"Yup," the bored pug replied. Then, it leapt up and snatched the book from his hand before running off. As though that had been the signal—and it had—each of his dogs followed. They disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Naruto's whimpering grew louder.

Kakashi's smile grew bigger. He was loving the game already.

* * *

><p><em>2:09<em>

"That—_that's _what he did to Naruto?" Ibiki whispered in horror.

"I'm not sure. I only caught a glimpse and the memories are so shadowy and vague that it's hard to tell, but it looks like it and would explain quite a few things."

"Is Sarutobi aware of this?" Ibiki asked.

His former teacher shook his head. "No, the Hokage doesn't have a clue what I saw. I told him a few things but not everything."

Ibiki cursed. "And the side effects...were those intentional?"

He shrugged helplessly. "I've no idea. Maybe it was meant to be some form of protection, just in case, but it backfired. Combine that with the Kyuubi and the massacre and we've got a very emotionally unstable boy on our hands. We _can't_ allow him to stay this way."

The bald man pinched his nose in frustration. "We've tried everything we can think of to bring back that smart-mouthed, fun-loving kid, and we still see him sometimes, but...it hasn't worked. You know, at first we even thought it was just the ANBU training that was getting to him. I mean, they put him in the more intensive stuff right after the incident, so we figured that was it."

"But it wasn't."

"No, and when I found out he'd sought help from _you,_ of all people, I..." The words _'I felt so useless'_ went unsaid.

Inoichi cleared his throat. "Naruto came to me because he didn't want to worry you or anyone else. He also knew you'd be too close to the situation to think rationally."

Ibiki looked up in surprise at that.

"Don't be so shocked. You should know better than anyone that, while he's not book smart, he's amazing at reading people and situations; that's where he gets his ability to create crazy, working strategies on the fly. Sometimes, Naruto understands people on a level I can't." He smiled faintly. "Did you know that I had offered to teach him my clan techniques?"

The Special Jounin's eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

Inoichi nodded.

"But—hey! You wouldn't even teach _me_ those!" There was a vague sense of jealousy, but Ibiki ruthlessly ignored it.

His old boss laughed. "What, like you needed them?"

The large man growled out, "Still could've offered, you jerk."

The blonde shrugged. "Could've, but I didn't. And it turns out that little brat didn't need them, either. In fact, he turned me down flat when I offered. You see, I can enter a person's mind and see his memories; he can look at the same guy and see his _feelings_, which is something I can't access. Lying, fear, hatred—he can read them all and easily use them against that person. In the end, the only thing I could teach the boy was how to build up a wall to block off his own memories for short periods of time." He sighed and settled back into his chair. "Believe me when I say that wasn't easy."

"This is ridiculous," Ibiki muttered. "He had the opportunity to learn clan-only jutsu and turned it down. What was he thinking?" Okay, maybe he wasn't ignoring that jealousy as much as he'd thought.

Inoichi smirked. "Oh, they still would've been clan-only. My teaching them would've come with a betrothal agreement to my daughter."

"Y-you were going to make him your son-in-law?" he yelled as his jaw dropped.

The clan head nodded. "You bet I was. He's the most powerful ninja of his generation and knows _waaay_ too many of this village's secrets. Not only that, but even with his power he's actually fairly humble, compared to most ninja I've met. If you don't count his occasional bad attitude, that is."

Ibiki broke in. "That's because he knows the cost of such strength. Take a look at what Itachi was forced to do just because he was strong. Just the thought of it makes him bitter and resentful. Naruto once told me that, regardless of his orders, he would never kill us for peace," Ibiki finished with a snort. "It's hard to believe because he's so rude sometimes..."

Inoichi chuckled. "Agreed. It was very difficult for me to earn his respect. But even aside from his personality issues, keeping him in the clan would be in our best interests. Plus, it _would_ have had the added bonus of keeping Ino out of fangirl-mode. Not sure if I can ever forgive him for turning me down..." he finished with an irritated huff.

Ibiki laughed. "You're going to blame Naruto for Ino's obsession with Sasuke? Oh, that's rich!" Then, he stopped laughing. "Hey, would you have made me marry some girl in return for the techniques?" That'd be one way to get a wife; though not the ideal method, it was worth considering.

"Of course," he replied matter-of-factually. "Right after her birth, I would've betrothed _you_ to Ino, instead."

Ibiki choked. That was _not_ what he had in mind at all. "P-p-please tell me you're kidding."

The blonde blinked in genuine confusion. "Why would I do that?"

"Because she's just a kid! I'm more than ten years her senior!"

Inoichi rolled his eyes. "Betrothal, not marriage. The actual wedding would've waited until she was of age."

"_So_? It's not just about years; it's also about generational differences. I saw war and torture," he replied as he pointed to his covered head. "She's seen gossip and makeup disasters. We'd never have anything in common."

His former teacher chuckled. "Just wait until she matures. Maybe then you'll see something you like."

Ibiki was flabbergasted. Was this guy actually implying...? "You mean, you _still_ want me to—you really are nuts, you know that?"

The man snorted. "There are only a few men I would ever trust with my daughter, and that would be you, Naruto, Shikamaru, or Choji. I'd add the Aburame boy to that list if I thought she could handle the bugs, but the Uchiha boy I will never be able to fully trust because of his family history." He sighed. "And for your information, I don't expect you to marry her. I'm just saying that if you ever become interested, you already have my permission to court her, as do the others I mentioned."

Like that was any different! He'd be robbing the cradle! "Yeah, well, thanks but no thanks," the Special Jounin replied, feeling vaguely nauseated at just the thought.

Inoichi shrugged. "I didn't expect you to say yes, either, which is the second reason I never offered to teach you my jutsu. Otherwise, I would've the second we found out Tomomi was carrying a little girl."

Ibiki shuddered inwardly at the thought, and then his eyes narrowed. What was the old man playing at? "Then, why even tell me?"

A sad smile appeared on the blonde's face. "Because I've always wanted you to be my real son. This is as close as it gets and I want you to consider it."

The scarred man winced and grimaced on the inside. This conversation was _not_ making him comfortable. They were supposed to be making plans for Naruto, not Inoichi's future grandchildren. "Look, I really," as in really, really, _really_, "don't see it happening." Never. Not in a million years. "But I'll k-keep it in mind," he managed to force out. It was a blatant lie, the first and only one he'd ever told to his former sensei, and the interrogator felt no shame for it.

Inoichi's smile seemed to brighten up the whole office. "That's all that I ask."

_'Thank God.'_

"Now, about Naruto...do you think he'd be interested?"

That was _not_ what Ibiki had meant.

* * *

><p><em>3:18<em>

Two hours later, Naruto was close to screaming, Sakura was almost in tears, and Sasuke had a visible tick above his eye. Occasionally, the dark-haired boy would even twitch; combined with the peculiar light in his eyes, it gave him the appearance of a homicidal maniac.

Naruto didn't blame him and was pretty sure he looked about the same underneath his mask. So far, they'd been bitten, run down, chewed, dragged along the ground, bowled over, and peed on...several times over. And the mongrels could run up trees and across water because they could use chakra, so there was no cornering them. Their endeavor to retrieve that ridiculous book was proving to be less than successful.

It wasn't that they couldn't _find_ the book. Oh, no, Pakkun made sure to stay within sight at all times, sleeping beneath a large tree with _Icha Icha _sitting on his paws. He never moved. The problem was that the other dogs tended to run interference and were excellent at dodging projectiles like weapons and fireballs (and there had been plenty of those). It quickly became clear that, in order to get to the pug, they had to get through the other dogs first. Sasuke and Naruto were getting pretty tired, though, so the fireballs were coming less often and they were running out of options.

They could sniff out traps pretty well, too, so those were of no use. Sakura had been surprisingly helpful in that regard, forcing Naruto to reevaluate some of his opinions regarding her. She'd created some rather deadly and interesting traps that he would not have thought her capable of making. For that alone, he figured he shouldn't be so hard on her. Not everyone grew up like he had, anyway. Maybe he could help her train or something later as a way of apologizing.

But in the meantime, they had to get to that pug!

"Don't you have any plans, Naruto?" Sasuke demanded.

"Oh, you mean, aside from the seven that have already failed?" he snapped back. "How about you propose one?"

"Because you know Kakashi-sensei and this mutt; Sakura and I don't. You're the logical choice for it."

"Yeah, well, there's a reason I've never beaten them!"

"Why? 'Cause you're a loser?"

"No, because it's Kakashi-freakin'-Sharingan!"

"He has the Sharingan? How the heck did he-"

"How should I know?"

"What are you, some sort of idiot?"

"Bastard! You take that back!"

"Make me...if you can!"

Just then, Sakura broke in. "Guys..." she muttered darkly, "I'm gonna count to three, and if you two morons haven't shut up by the time I'm finished, I'll pummel you both into the ground. Got it?"

For some odd reason, neither he nor Sasuke bothered to doubt her (for once) and they promptly shut their mouths.

"Now that you two are quiet, let's go over a few facts." She grabbed their arms and pulled them into a small huddle to hide their voices from the amused dogs that were just sitting and watching them. "First of all, they always stay where we can see them. Second, our target is Pakkun, not the others. Third, they're _dogs._ Can you two boys guess which of these facts is the one we should find most useful?"

Naruto was drawing a blank. He'd gone up against the pug and his posse numerous times as punishment for not doing his homework, as training, or just because Kakashi had been bored or in an especially bad mood that day. Not once had he ever beaten them, although this was also the first time he'd been told to retrieve something. (All other times, the orders had been to "survive and hide," and, as previously stated, he'd always failed.)

Sasuke looked every bit as confused as Naruto felt and shrugged to show it.

Sakura slapped her forehead. "Great. My two teammates are morons..."

"Hey!" the dark-haired Uchiha said, as he was evidently not used to being insulted by this particular female.

"Shut up!" she yelled. "I don't want to hear one more peep out of you unless you've got something useful to say!"

Naruto snickered, finding the situation suddenly hilarious.

She turned to him with fire in her green eyes. "And that goes for you, too!"

He stopped and coughed nervously at her dangerous tone. "Uh...okay, then, what ideas do you have?"

She sighed. "They're dogs. Think about it! What do dogs like?"

"...Food, belly-rubs, females in heat if they're male, and things to chase and play with," Naruto answered hesitantly.

"Right! Naruto, can you make any more clones?"

He grimaced. "Yeah, but it takes a lot out of me, thanks to this seal. I could probably spare seven or eight. What do you have in mind?"

Sakura smirked and turned to Sasuke without giving him an answer. "And you're pretty decent with genjutsu, right?"

The dark-haired Uchiha blinked. "Yeah...why?"

"Simple; you're going to make the clones, Naruto, and Sasuke's going to place a genjutsu over them to make them look and smell just like a herd of deer."

"I can take care of the Transformations, but those don't incorporate scents. I guess that's the reason for the genjutsu, but why deer?"

"You ever seen a dog chase one of those animals?"

Both boys shook their heads.

"They're almost impossible to stop. It's like they can't help themselves, and I think it has something to do with how they smell. So...what do you say? You guys up for it?"

"Sure, but what will you be doing?" Sasuke asked.

Her eyes narrowed. "Grabbing that pug."

"Need some explosives?" Naruto offered.

"I've got some high-quality wire and razor-sharp shuriken in my pouch," Sasuke said, just a bit too eagerly to be healthy.

But their female teammate shook her pink head. "No, this requires stealth. All I'll really need is to be sneaky—don't look at my hair like that! I always managed just fine in the academy, so I'll manage fine h—Naruto, what are you doing?"

"Giving you my mask. Despite what you say, Pakkun _will_ notice your shampoo, if nothing else. This'll at least help hide it," he said as he finished pulling it free from his face. "Here," the blonde said, handing it out to her, "put it on."

Sakura got a strange, glazed look in her eyes and stared at the item he was giving her. "Uh...o-okay. Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet; it probably smells like sweat."

"...Wonderful." The pink-haired girl placed it over her head, covering nose, mouth, and ears. "Ewww..." she groaned.

"Does it smell like sweat?" Sasuke asked a little too eagerly.

"That, and—Naruto! Get some breath mints!"

He shrugged and rubbed the back of his head. "I had something spicy in my food. Probably garlic, too. Sorry."

"Good job, loser," Sasuke said as he slapped the ANBU on the back.

"Geez, can you two just go ahead and do your part? Go...hide in the woods or something till you're ready. I'll start sneaking up on that pug."

They stared. Naruto, because she was a lot better than he'd given her credit for. Sasuke watched because...actually, he had no idea why the Uchiha was staring, but it sure annoyed _her_.

"Go!" she snapped. "Idiots..."

As the two boys ran off to do as she had ordered, Naruto realized something both horrifying and funny; he _liked_ his new team. It was fun getting to yell at someone other than his brothers, for a change. And he'd been so busy arguing with them that he hadn't had a single flashback the whole time.

At that realization, the blonde stopped dead in his tracks, shock all over his face. "No...no way..." Was it true, then? Did he just need to get used to being around living people in order to forget the dead? Or was it just waiting for later to kick in? For once, Naruto honestly hoped it was the first.

Sasuke, who was now ahead of him, called over his shoulder, "Hurry up, loser!"

Naruto's head shot up and saw how far behind he was and hurried to catch up. Once they were both within the cover of the trees, he created his clones—and wasted a lot of energy in the process, thanks to his now-lousy chakra control—and Sasuke immediately began weaving a genjutsu around them once they'd been Transformed. It brought a question to Naruto's mind.

"Genjutsu are illusions that affect the chakra within the mind, right?"

"Hn," Sasuke agreed.

"Then, how does putting one on my _clones_ affect the _dogs'_ sense of smell?" He'd always wondered about that but had never actually asked. Now he wanted to know for future reference.

The Uchiha paused for a second to answer. "Simple. It's a genjutsu based on proximity. The first thing we do is use a basic Transformation to affect sight; your clones already take care of sound, since they're solid. Then, I use the genjutsu to affect smell, and it only activates once another chakra signature is close by, which would be the dogs, in this case. It literally has to get close enough to affect their brains and senses of smell."

"Sweet. Maybe I should take a closer look..." With that, he unfocused his eyes and concentrated on the chakra coming from his teammate's hands. It looked like a mist of blue settled over his clones and hovered around them, except that thin tendrils were making their way to both his and the Uchiha's nose as though being drawn by a magnet. "So, that's how it works. No wonder I can't do it; that's gotta require some fine-tuned control."

"Huh?" Sasuke spat out in confusion. "What are you talking about? What do you mean, 'that's how it works'?"

Naruto shrugged. "It's just something I can do. I'm a bit of a chakra sensor, so I guess you could say I 'saw' what the genjutsu did."

"You mean...like the Sharingan or the Byakugan?"

"Uh, no, not really. I mean, I can see chakra, but that's it. There's no x-ray vision like the Hyuggas have, though walls don't restrict my vision, and I also can't copy or memorize techniques, although I do get a better idea of how they work. Heck, I've even started noticing the differences in the elements the chakra is attuned to. Water sort of...flows more smoothly." He didn't bother telling Sasuke that it occasionally changed. He wasn't sure why, but when the moon was brighter, his second sight seemed to...intensify. All he and his brothers had been able to figure out was that it had something to do with moonlight, though what was still a mystery. No other eye techniques—genetic or otherwise—reacted that way.

"...Why are you telling me all of this?"

Naruto shrugged. "You're my teammate. You should know. Now, how about we go and back Sakura up? She's in position now."

Sasuke smiled. "Right."

Those mutts would never know what hit them.

* * *

><p><em>3:27<em>

Sakura was rather surprised the dogs hadn't followed after the boys; they'd merely sat or laid down and waited patiently, as though knowing the boys would be back, which they would...but how did the dogs know?

Either way, her job was top priority right now. It was essential that she sneak up on that little..._mutt_ and snag that book from him, and though she was loathe to admit it, the black mask Naruto had provided probably helped her blend in much better than she would've otherwise. Pink hair had a tendency to stand out, after all.

So did shampoo, now that she thought about it. In fact, as she snuck up on the pug—who was contentedly lying beneath a tree snoring while, unknown to him, all his guards were _just then_ running off after a herd of deer—Sakura noticed that she could not only smell the shampoo but also identify it.

_'HEY! That's MY signature scent!'_ she realized with shock. But she couldn't pause now; she had a job to do and could not fail! Each movement was precise, measured. Every breath was quietly shallow. Sasuke would be so impressed! Not even her clothes rustled, and...

_Step..._

Pakkun didn't so much as twitch.

_Step_

He hadn't moved. She hadn't been caught! It was working!

_Step_

It was working! Still working! Her hand inched forward and her fingertips touched the book on the dog's forepaws-

"Finally!" the gruff pug exclaimed.

Sakura shrieked and jumped high in the air. She landed on her butt and quickly scrambled backwards. In the background, the girl noticed two distinct voices belonging to her teammates shouting in worry. They were heading her way, but would they arrive in time? She _really_ didn't want to be peed on again.

"You know, you pups take forever!" Pakkun snapped. Then, without further delay, the pug took the book in his jaws and flung it at her. "Here! Take it and leave me alone!"

Sakura stared and blinked at the orange...thing that was sitting on her chest. It was half-covered in slime; there was no way she was touching _that_. "W-w-wha-?"

Pakkun began muttering to himself as he sat up and looked forlornly at the dirt. "Just wanted a li'l nap, but no-o-o-o. Your pack and mine just _had_ to make it noisy. And it's been going on for hours." His soul-searching eyes met hers. "I'm tired and I want to go home. Take the porn to Kakashi and pass, already." The tiny dog looked down again, sadness radiating from his body. "He won't dispel us till you do..."

"Ooookay." She was rather...confused.

"Sakura!" Sasuke called, running up to her through the trees with Naruto right beside him.

Naruto...his face wasn't gorgeous, like Sasuke's was, but still! Why would anyone cover up _that_? And those marks on his cheek were so cute! Ino would just die when she told her!

"Sakura, you okay?" the subject of her thoughts asked her.

"Y-yeah, I think." She glanced down at the disgusting thing still sitting on her chest. The pink-haired girl reaaaally didn't want to touch it, but neither did she want either one of her teammates to reach for it. That would be...awkward due to its location. Reluctantly, she used two fingers to gingerly grasp the very edge and quickly dropped it on the ground. "Pakkun gave us the book, so we should take it to Kakashi-sensei now so that we can pass." She stood and glanced at the two males. "Er, would one of you mind carrying it?"

Naruto sighed and snatched it up. "C'mon, now, let's go find Ka-"

Before the blonde—Ino would be so jealous when she heard that there was another blonde around—could finish his sentence, a burst of smoke surrounded all three of them, and once they'd stopped coughing (Sakura remembered the mask and pulled it off), a voice spoke.

"Well, well, so you succeeded, after all." Kakashi's eye creased. "I think I'm really beginning to like you, my cute, little students!" Then, the strange, silver-haired Jounin clapped his hands, dismissed his dogs, and said, "Now that you have passed my test, it's time for..."

Sakura was excited. "Our first mission?"

Sasuke was equally excited. "Will we be protecting a princess?

The mask fell to the ground as she jumped around and Naruto sighed and picked it up. She ignored him. "Escorting a noble?"

"Fighting off a group of missing-nin?"

"Tell us, tell us!"

"Yeah, Kaka-sensei," Naruto snickered through his mask, "tell us."

Kakashi's one eye was wide and blinking. "Er, actually, I was about to say that it's time for a snack."

The Uchiha and the Haruno fell down. Naruto was clutching his stomach and laughing.

"W-what?" she asked as she got to her feet, confused.

Their sensei scratched the back of his head. "We-e-e-ell, it's after 3:00. It's really too late for lunch and too early for dinner, but you're all probably hungry, anyway, so...it's time for a snack!"

"O...kay," Sasuke said as he, too, stood back up. "What are we going to eat? We didn't exactly bring anything."

Naruto shifted guiltily for a reason she couldn't figure out. "Right," he muttered.

"Ah, that is an easy thing to solve!" announced Kakashi with a flourish. "We shall..."

Sakura and Sasuke leaned forward eagerly. "We shall...?" they repeated.

"Oh, geez," Naruto sighed.

"We shall...go home!" And with that, their obnoxious sensei disappeared, leaving just fast enough to avoid the kunai and shuriken that had been lodged his direction.

It was not the best of times.

She headed home with her hair in disarray and her outfit ripped and stained. Thank goodness she had ten more sets just like it! In the meantime, she wore a basic Transformation go avoid the worst of the gawkers, even though Sasuke—the only one who mattered—had already seen and smelled her. In fact, now that she thought of it, she was rather glad they hadn't gone out to eat; she was in no state to be in public! People were already staring enough as it was.

The moment she walked in the door, though, her mother (who was conveniently sitting on the couch) took one glance at her and shrieked. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?"

Oh. She'd forgotten to Transform that, too. Oops. Sure did explain a lot of the stranger looks she'd seen on the street.

"Er, I met my new team today, Mom, and we were doing some training."

Lady Haruno was _not_ convinced. "Oh, and just what sort of 'training' includes bits of nature as souvenirs?" she asked as she walked up and plucked a twig with foliage still attached right out of her hair.

Sakura thought there might have been a worm hanging onto one of the leaves, but she refused to take a closer look to make sure.

"We were training outdoors, Mom."

"You did that all the time at the Academy, but you never came home looking like this."

"Yeah, well, the Academy went easy on us. Kakashi-sensei showed us that in no uncertain terms..."

"Kakashi?" her mother repeated. "As in, Kakashi Hatake?"

Sakura blinked. "Yes, I'm pretty sure that's his name. Why?"

Lady Haruno looked extremely worried. "Oh, honey, I don't know about this..."

"'This' what?"

"This ninja thing, that's what! You're my only child! I don't want to lose you like I lost your father!"

Sakura rolled her eyes. Her mother had been doing this for the last several months; every time she came home with a scrape or a bruise, the woman would fret. She couldn't figure out the reason for the sudden change in attitude, and it was quickly getting old. "Mom, I'm a ninja now and there's no changing that."

"But you don't have to go on all those higher-ranked missions, do you? You could just stay home and take a desk job-"

"NO! That's YOUR life, not mine! I refuse to sit around at home all day just so YOU'LL feel better! I'm not made of glass!"

"But you could—probably _will_ die!"

"Gotta go sometime, Mom. Might as well be in a way worth remembering."

"Sakura!"

But the girl simply climbed the stairs to her room. She understood the woman's fear; the life of a ninja was filled with grief and violence. However, despite that, Sakura just knew the life of a civilian would never suit her. It wasn't about honor and glory in battle. It was about protecting what little she had left after her father's death. Her obsession with Sasuke had made that desire...foggy over the years, but something about being yelled at (by Naruto), peed on and bitten (by the dogs), and the slight gleam of respect in Sasuke's eyes had reminded her that she'd really let herself go.

Naruto, as cruel as his words yesterday—and this morning—had been, was right. She needed a lot of work before she was ready to go on practically any real missions. But that didn't mean the blonde wasn't still a jerk, and Sakura had gladly told him so to his face! The result had been less than pleasant, and yet she was ridiculously pleased with herself for having stood up to him.

But now what? Just because she'd screamed her head off didn't mean she didn't have some serious work to do. The pink-haired Genin needed to train, but with whom? It being virtually impossible to refine and learn certain skills by herself made it imperative that she find a trainer or partner, and preferably as soon as possible. However, even as she squeezed her eyes shut to consider it, only a few names were coming to mind: Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi-sensei.

Kakashi was a given; of course he'd teach her. Sasuke...maybe it'd be better if she didn't count on him. Every time Sakura got close to the dark-haired Uchiha, her brain went all to mush. _'With good reason, too,'_ her mind supplied. _'Who could concentrate around a face like that?'_ And Naruto was an automatic "NO!" Even though there was probably much to learn from the cute blonde, he'd only treat her with contempt, and she didn't need that right now. In the meantime, there was something she'd noticed and wanted to try out...

Ten minutes later, the girl was stripped and staring at a bathtub full of water. After a full minute of staring and thinking about how Kakashi's dogs had run across a small stream, she directed a small amount of chakra to her feet and stepped into the tub.

For a moment, she stayed and thought, _'I did it! I actually did it!'_ But just a split second later, her feet slipped below the surface. Sakura blinked in confusion and tried it again, thinking her concentration had wavered, only to be met with the same results. It took the girl a few more tries to get the hang of letting a constant flow of chakra out of her feet, but once she had it figured out...

"Hey, this isn't so bad! It's pretty easy!" She danced around on the water until she remembered her wonderful Day at the Park, as she decided to sarcastically call it, and got down to scrubbing every inch of her body free of...certain fluids from dogs with full bladders and much drool. _'If I get even one scar because of their claws, those mutts are gonna pay...' _The whole thing made her shudder in disgust, though even that could not take away her excitement at having made some sort of progress in such a short time span.

Sakura, after some food and relaxation, passed the night away dreaming of success, Sasuke, and their future children. Perhaps if she used that new conditioner she'd seen in the store the other day, he would notice! (Despite her improvements, she was, after all, still twelve.)

* * *

><p>Preview of a future chapter (just for fun):<p>

_A strange scraping sound filled his ears, forcing him to look up from the small child desperately clutching his hand. The bridge was supposedly only a few feet away, but with all the fog surrounding them, it was impossible to tell where, exactly, the noise was coming from, much less where he and the tiny girl were standing. It was nerve-wracking, to say the least. He had to get her out of there! But how?_

_The scraping sound was getting louder, and his eyes darted left and right. He'd have to take a chance. Bending his knees and applying a small amount of chakra, he prepared to leapt to the right, hoping it would be the right direction, but to his shock, a hand reached out and grabbed his ankle. The girl began to scream at the sight of the half-dead boy with one eye hanging out of his skull._

"_Help...me...!" Sasuke groaned._

_Naruto realized with a shock what was going on. "No...this never happened..." he muttered. "It never..." Anger filled his heart, and the hand that was not holding onto the child clenched so hard that a fine stream of blood flowed down his knuckles and onto the ground. "Leave me alone!" he whispered harshly. "I'm sick of this!"_

_The hand grasping his ankle spasmed in pain. "Naru...to...help!"_

_But Naruto glared and wrenched his leg away. "No. No more." With the little girl, who was crying and whimpering, in his arms, he turned his back on the grotesque scene before him and walked away._

End of preview. I'm sure some of you can figure out what was going on in that little snippet, but don't ruin it for those who can't. Anyway, let's just say that, whatever chapter that happens to be, it will go a long ways towards explaining Naruto's mental condition.

* * *

><p>Author's Corner:<p>

I don't particularly feel like anything needs to be stated here, except for the following: I knew that I'd attract some God-like Naruto lovers by putting "ANBU Naruto" in this story's summary. For those of you that fit in that category and are still reading right now, I have one thing to say to you...

This is not and never will be an overpowered Naruto story. Throwing a tantrum by saying I "ruined" it for you because Naruto's "not the strongest" doesn't move me in the slightest. You want overpowered characters? Go read the manga. This is my story; if you don't like it, write your own. He's twelve, short, and temperamental. And comparing him to Itachi and Sasuke is stupid. Naruto is Naruto, and he's not a genius, much less Itachi or Sasuke. It's the same as saying that, because Suzy is doing well in Math, Bobby should be doing well, too, since they have the same class with the same teacher and everything. Use your brains, sweetheart.

For all others who are reading this story and do NOT fit in that category, please excuse the rant. I tend to be rather rude when dealing with idiots.

Ah, to answer another question before it becomes a problem: There are no pairings at this stage of the story with Naruto. He's twelve. There might be childish crushes, political maneuvering, etc., but true love? Nope. Not gonna happen. There will be no voting over this issue. Maybe when he matures and becomes an adult, but not a moment before.

As for my issue regarding reviews—I don't need them to survive. I think they're a nice gesture, but I'll continue writing what I want regardless of what they do or don't say. And there will never be any kind of poll. Ever. This story (not the characters or parts that belong to Kishimoto, of course) belongs to me and I am very possessive of it.

Lednacek—in answer to your question about the timeskip, yes, I did mention it. It just wasn't exactly obvious. In essence, you're absolutely right. *shrugs* My bad. Actually, thanks for pointing that out. I meant to put that first part at the end of chapter six but forgot and just pasted it to the first part of chapter seven. I'll probably go back and fix it later, but I just plain don't feel like it right now.

Oh, keep an eye on Sakura's emotional outbursts. That's all :)


	9. Day by Day

_My friend must be a bird, _

_Because it flies! _

_Mortal my friend must be, _

_Because it dies! _

_Barbs has it, like a bee. _

_Ah, curious friend, _

_Thou puzzlest me!_

_-Emily Dickenson_

* * *

><p><em>May 12, 10:00 a.m.<em>

Naruto, having already been a ninja for quite some time—albeit a black-ops member only—knew enough about the horrors of Genin-hood so that he wasn't surprised at the "missions" they were required to take for the first few months. Of course, that didn't mean he wasn't annoyed, anyway.

So far, they'd painted fences, picked up trash, cleaned out a dusty attic, mowed a lawn, cleaned out a koi pond, walked and washed a few dogs, cleaned the Nara clan's personal library, sanitized the Inuzuka clan's kennels, caught a vicious cat (three times in one day), and (Naruto's all-time favorite) taste-tested a few of the Akimichi clan's new recipes.

Where was the action? Where was the adventure? Where was the killing? Alright, so there was a little action when chasing down Tora, and perhaps there was a little bit of adventure and risk of dying when tasting new recipes, but really! They were ninja! Academy students should have been assigned such duties!

He stated just as much when they'd finally caught Tora for the last time and handed the beast to the Fire Lord's wife.

Sarutobi smirked. "Actually, Naruto, academy students are assigned missions like that."

Sakura nodded. "I remember cleaning a house for extra credit a couple years ago."

"I babysat," Sasuke supplied helpfully.

Naruto blinked. "Seriously? But...last I heard..."

"We changed the curriculum not too long ago, Naruto. You never attended, so you couldn't have known, but students can now receive extra credit or make up a missed school day by volunteering for a D-ranked mission. We also assign a few as punishments for misbehavior." His eye gleamed for a moment. "If you had pulled off one of your pranks in the academy, you could've been made to clean all the toilets in the Hokage Tower."

The blonde's heart leapt in fear at that prospect. The tower had a lot of bathrooms...

But it was Kakashi who at last came to the rescue. "Eh, Hokage-sama, I think they're probably ready for a higher-ranked mission."

Sandaime was not convinced, if the look on his face were any indication. "I do not doubt their skills, Kakashi. What I'm interested in is their teamwork."

The Jounin nodded. "It's better, but it'll never become great with them just doing random chores. They have progressed through the drills adequately and now it's time to use what they've learned."

"Hmm...we'll see." The Third made a lightening-fast gesture and a ninja with a needle in his mouth appeared. "Bring in Tazuna," the old man said before turning back to Kakashi. "This man is requesting an escort as he returns to his home in the Land of Waves, as well as a guard until his bridge is completed. Think they can handle it?" There was a strange tone in the Hokage's voice that made Naruto's ears tingle.

Their sensei's eyes—er, eye opened slightly wider. "Absolutely. And we can use Naruto's Shadow Clones to speed up the building a bit."

"And his other...skills?"

"Will they be needed?" This time, his one eye narrowed.

Hiruzen smirked slightly. "Perhaps. The reports I receive cover a wide range of subject matter."

"Ah." The Jounin nodded to show he understood.

He wasn't the only one; Naruto got that code pretty easily, too, but before he could ask the Old Man what he was getting them into, a vile stench hit his nose and he gagged. "Mprhrr!" was all he could get out before he rushed over to the nearest wastebasket and emptied his stomach. And since he'd eaten at Ichiraku's just that morning, there was a lot to empty. A random blur from out of nowhere replaced the already filled wastebasket with a clean one, and he kept going without even acknowledging the poor ANBU who'd sacrificed a lot of dignity doing that.

When Naruto had finished being ill and turned back around, he blinked at what he saw.

Every eye was on him, and each face looked distinctly green...and not with envy.

"Well...now we know where he puts it all..." Kakashi muttered.

An old man the boy didn't recognize spoke next, but only after he'd taken a sip of what had to be some very hard liquor. "Thish're da brashts that're gonna wash ov'r me?" he slurred.

The smell of his breath almost made Naruto run back to the trashcan.

"I assure you," the Sandaime said, "that this team is perfectly capable of completing the mission for which you hired us...and more, Mr. Tazuna."

Tazuna gulped visibly and seemed to instantly sober up. "I-I as-assure you, Hokage-sama, I-"

The Hokage held up a hand with an amused smile. "Enough. I can see I've already convinced you of their worth." He turned to the Jounin. "Kakashi, I'd like for your team to leave today before noon."

"Yes, sir." The silver-haired man turned towards his students with what passed for a grin. "Run along now, little children."

They glared at him, of course, but didn't dare disobey.

Except for Naruto. He lingered a moment and stared Kakashi directly in the eye. "So," he began with a smirk, "how's getting that dye out coming along?"

The older man growled and Naruto quickly dodged the kunai sent his way and left the room, closing the door behind him. As he turned back around, however, he bumped nose-first into a green vest—Jounin, he immediately noted, and a chain-smoker, he had to guess, going by the smell.

"Oof!" the blonde said as leaned back slightly to get a look at the older man.

"Watch where you're going," an irritable voice growled out.

"Er, sorry, mister," Naruto replied, "but you were the one standing right outside the door. Who wouldn't have bumped into you?"

The man—a brunette, the blonde noticed now that they'd gotten some distance between each other—muttered something rather cross underneath his breath.

"Huh?" the twelve-year-old wondered out loud.

"Never mind," he snapped and then stepped around the boy and left abruptly.

Naruto blinked uncertainly. Hadn't he been going to see the Old Man? And there was something vaguely familiar about that guy, too...something about the beard and goatee, the way his eyes slanted, his face...something about those things nagged at the back of his mind. Where had he seen that guy before?

After thinking about it for a minute, the former ANBU decided he had more important things to do and left to pack. A simple Body Flicker later, he was in his room facing a wall. He did not notice Idate in his bed, nor did Idate notice him, as he was far too distracted.

"Let's see," the Genin muttered to himself, "we'll probably be there a few weeks, so it'd be best to use a scroll..." Naruto trailed off as a sound, a low moaning, made itself known to his ears. A shiver worked its way up his spine and he closed his eyes and turned around slowly to face his brother.

"Idate."

The moans got louder.

"Idate."

They reached a crescendo.

"Idate, if you're doing what I think you are, I'll turn every pair of socks and all the underwear you own pink!" It was remarkably similar to the recent prank he'd pulled on Kakashi.

The...noises abruptly stopped, and Naruto hazarded squeezing his eyes open, to his eternal regret.

"Oh, geez, I so did not need to see that!" And he squeezed his eyes shut again.

A sheepish voice answered him. "Sorry, Naruto. I, uh, didn't see you there..."

He sighed. "Is it safe to look now?"

Cloth rustled for a moment before Idate answered. "Um, yeah. Yeah, it's safe."

Naruto opened his bright blue eyes once more and saw, to his immense relief, that his older brother had stopped picking his nose. "Really, 'Date, what is it with you and those boogers?"

The brown-haired boy shrugged. "My nose itches right now, and there's really only one way to scratch a nose on the inside."

"But do you have to be so...vocal about it? You make it sound like something perverted!"

"Well, it really itched! Still does, in fact..."

"Don't you DARE!" the blonde snapped as he pointed. All of a sudden, Naruto couldn't wait to get out of the village for a couple of weeks and hurried to put his pack together.

To his immense relief, he arrived at the village gates thirty minutes later. No one else was there, so he decided to take the time to relax and brought out a book the Old Man had given to him for making Genin. So far, he'd found Seals: Defying the Laws of Nature to be extremely interesting. (Not that he read it, exactly; mostly, he read brief descriptions, looked at the pictures, and figured it out from there.)

Paralysis Tags—anyone with enough medical knowledge or a nifty lightening jutsu can paralyze an opponent, but the effects are typically short-term or even nonexistent (if the target is wind-natured, for example, it is more likely for it to be canceled out). Seals, however, can easily override a contrary chakra nature or any attempts to heal oneself. With the correct knowledge, the paralysis can vary in intensity, from a single digit being incapacitated to the target's entire system, and last for days or even weeks. Making and using a paralysis tag requires Level Three anatomy comprehension and Level Two seal mastery-

"Yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah," Naruto thought as he skipped past the rest of the long-winded description. He'd been interrogating people for years; one didn't do that without a good education regarding anatomy, such as pressure points and what-bleeds-the-most. He was at Level Seven. And in seals...well, he kept skipping those little tests at the end of the chapters, so where he was at was really anyone's guess. "So...looks like a containment seal that's been modified, but how? What does it—oh! I see. It holds a set amount of the user's chakra to prolong the paralysis. Wait...no, that's not right..." Naruto scratched his head. He was confused. "Is that a release valve? And on the other side, is that...? Yes! I've got it! That thing's what the author called the Gate. Chakra enters through it, travels to the converter, and exists once the containment seal opens up. Looks like both voltage and time delay are adjustable, meaning the effects are, as well. Nice!"

"What'cha lookin' at, Bro?" a loud, annoying voice let out right next to his left ear.

Naruto, having been rather distracted, had not noticed the young boy dressed in a blue shirt with khaki shorts sneaking up on him (the child had a fine gift, that he did) and let out a rather undignified and girly shriek as he leapt into the air. Once he landed back on the ground (on his feet, even), he whipped his head around and glared. "Konohamaru! How many times have I told you not to do that!"

Konohamaru smirked unrepentantly. "Once or twice."

Naruto snorted. "More like a hundred," he corrected.

The brunette pouted. "Oh, c'mon, Bro! I'm just using what ya taught me!"

"Yeah, so you could prank Kakashi, not scare me half to death!"

The boy smiled darkly. "Oh, you don't have to worry about that. I get him plenty, and Mom, too."

Now it was Naruto's turn to smirk. "That's my little protege," he said with as much pride in his voice as he could muster. "Tell me how your latest mission went." He didn't mean a ninja mission, either.

"No sweat, Boss. It was easy. I just waited till he and mom were doing those weird exercises in their room before I made my move."

The blonde shivered. '_Exercises, my foot_.' He was surprised Ko was still so innocent, considering what perverts his parents were. Even with a little brother on the way, the Third's grandson honestly had no idea what Kakashi and Rin got up to at nights. "Well? Do you have it?"

Konohamaru dug into his back pocket and pulled out a rare, first-edition, autographed, and personally illustrated Icha Icha straight from Jiraiya himself. "Here it is, Boss! What'd ya want with this thing, anyway?" he asked as he handed it over.

Naruto, whose grin was positively evil, cackled as he held it aloft.

"Uh, Boss?"

"What?"

"Why'd you want it?"

The former ANBU turned the orange monstrosity around and showed his little brother the back. "You see this?"

"Yeah..."

"What do you think it is?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. "Some weird drawing, I guess."

Naruto shook his head. "Nope. It's a seal array."

Konohamaru was shocked. "That thing's a seal? Cool!" Then, "What's it do?"

"Well, supposedly, this and the other two just like it had seals put on them by the author himself in order to keep the books in perfect condition for all of eternity."

"Whoa! Really?"

"Yeah, but I have my suspicions now that I know a little more about seals," he replied as he studied it carefully. "No doubt it does keep this thing mint, but the array's much too complex for that to be all it does."

Ko blinked. "Then, what?"

"That's what I'm gonna find out." He took a moment to look at the sun's position before sitting underneath a green, leafy tree. "You'd better get going now, though. Kakashi and my teammates are going to be here soon."

"Right!"

And with that, the little boy scampered off to find and torture his friends. He was already a promising tracker, as Naruto had been teaching him personally and no one was better at it than he was. Though the Hokage's grandson wasn't a natural-born sensor, he'd still trained himself to the point where he could pick up particularly strong signatures, as well as get around them. At nine years old, Konohamaru could scare the fire out of most ANBU, as Naruto himself knew firsthand. He would one day make a fine ninja, though he'd wisely chosen to take his time getting there.

Not having taken his time was something Naruto regretted the most. Undoubtedly, he'd done a lot of good since joining ANBU, but his childhood was irrevocably shot. Naturally, he hadn't minded at the time. What a little fool he'd been.

"We're all fools when we're children, and as we grow, we only become more sophisticated in our foolishness. Never assume yourself to be wise," Kakashi had once said to him, the words sounding suspiciously similar to Ibiki's father's many sayings.

Hopefully, his little brother would not make the same mistakes, but going by the younger boy's insistence on becoming Hokage, Naruto doubted it.

And speaking of becoming Hokage, the blonde had started noticing a certain reluctance coming up more and more whenever he spoke to the Sandaime about it. Not that he hated the thought of taking the position—it was his life's goal, after all—but Naruto also realized that maybe he wanted to wait a little longer before doing so. Old Man, however, wanted him to take the position in a matter of years, not decades.

"What do you think about taking this hat from me by your eighteenth birthday?" Sandaime had asked him just a few days ago.

A month before, Naruto would've started dancing around in excitement. Now, though...something had changed. He had friends—well, teammates, actually, but they were becoming friends. What would happen with all that when he became Godaime? The twelve-year-old got the strange feeling that he'd...miss them. Maybe it would be better if he didn't become Hokage so soon, but it wasn't fair to leave the Old Man in the position he should've already been retired from.

It was all very confusing.

A voice coming from the tree he was sitting under interrupted his thoughts.

"Hmm..." the voice spoke, "aren't you a little young for porn, Naruto?"

"Tenzou? Where'd you come from?" There was no sign of the man, but all the blonde had to do was use his sensor ability to know the older man was right above his head. "And what do you mean by that?"

The older nin laughed. "You do realize what you're holding in your hands, correct?" he responded, completely ignoring the first question.

Naruto blinked and looked down. "This?" He'd forgotten all about that thing.

"Yes, Naruto, that's porn," Tenzou replied with just a hint of amusement. "Surely you aren't emulating Kakashi's bad habits after everything we talked about, are you?"

"Huh? No!"

"Then, what are you doing with his...literature?"

Naruto glared. His ANBU partner—well, former partner—could be rather irritating at times. "Checking out the seal on the back, of course!"

At those words, the masked man jumped down to stand over the twelve-year-old. "What seal?"

"The one Jiraiya himself put on three of his first-edition books. It's supposed to preserve them, but there's no way that's all it does."

Tenzou tilted his head—a rather creepy thing with his ANBU mask on—and hummed. "Interesting. You'll have to tell me about it later."

Naruto scrunched his face up in confusion before his sensor abilities kicked in and he sensed the forms of his two teammates coming closer. "Right," he said as he carefully tucked the book away. "Guess I'll see you later, then."

The ANBU nodded and turned to leave, but just before he walked away, he looked over his shoulder at his comrade. "Naruto."

"Yeah?"

"I look forward to working with you in the future as an equal." With that, the older man walked seemingly straight into a tree and vanished.

Naruto couldn't help the smile on his face. Words like that from an ANBU to a mere Genin were considered high praise. But more importantly than that, Tenzou especially was sparse in his compliments. The most common was, "Right," or a hum and a nod. It felt...nice.

"What are you smiling about, loser?" a somewhat rude person—Sasuke—said behind him.

Naruto turned to face his teammate. "Heya, bastard!" he said, still grinning ear-to-ear.

Sakura shot a glare at him but didn't protest the nickname, choosing to attempt to burn him to death with her eyes as he and the Uchiha kept throwing insults back and forth with gigantic smirks on their faces.

It was all very amusing to the former ANBU. Yes, he was definitely liking his team.

* * *

><p><em>10:27<em>

Sasuke was more than a little disgusted the moment the bridge builder entered the Hokage's office, but he, unlike Naruto, at least managed to keep his food in his stomach...barely. He found no desire to eat before leaving the village, though, and instead headed over to the hospital for a visit.

The receptionist at the desk didn't even look up as he silently passed her, which was how he liked it. Sasuke hated for anyone to fawn over him, since it implied a measure of disrespect on their parts as well as dishonesty. Some of his "fans" were overprotective—did they think he was weak? What an insult!—to the point of smothering, and it was only to gain favor with the future clan head, so it was doubly insulting and sickening to listen to their prattle. If that female receptionist had seen him pass by, she would have immediately started hounding and pestering him, which would have then alerted all his other "fans" in the area.

He hated the fawning so much that he had grinned happily at many funerals—not because of their deaths but because of the silence and the fact that the dead couldn't bother him ever again. How many restraining orders did he have to issue before the people understood he just wanted to be left alone to care for the family members he had left?

And speaking of that...he was in room 317, in the Long-Term Care section of the hospital. Sasuke's genjutsu allowed him to pass by completely unseen by all as he entered the room with its lone patient, a thin man with long, dark hair and deep tracks under his eyes.

"Itachi..." he whispered, "when are you gonna wake up?"

The young ninja—still a teenager, really—had shown up out of the blue about six months ago, badly injured, bleeding, and barely able to stand, but the power he'd radiated even then had brought ANBU running from all corners of the village to the Uchiha heir's old bedroom (of all places for him to appear) in order to stop the "threat." Upon seeing and recognizing him, the ANBU had immediately rushed Itachi to the hospital, where the head doctor had done his best to treat him.

It hadn't worked. The disease they'd found ruining his body could not be cured by Dr. Yakushi's hands, so they'd used the only option left available to them: they'd put his body in stasis, something only possible because the extremely rare disease was in its earliest stage. Itachi would neither age nor change, even if a thousand years went by, just as long as the seals were kept intact.

'_It's just until they cure him_,' Sasuke had to remind himself daily. '_Then...then, I'll have my brother __back_ _again_.'

But it still left questions lingering in the Genin's mind. For example, where had Itachi been that night? In fact, where had he been since that night? How had he gotten sick, and when? And those injuries—they were nothing to scoff at, so who had hurt him so badly?

But the most pressing question, the one that he simply couldn't find a single logical explanation for, was this: How come he hadn't aged a day? Itachi Uchiha was still thirteen years old, and no one knew why. The stasis seal had only been placed on him months, not years, ago.

And Sasuke still hadn't told the children. They knew something had happened, but not what. After all, what if Itachi didn't get better? Losing their parents had been bad enough—poisoned water, the Sandaime had said, though no one knew how or why and there were a few inconsistencies in the story—and the last thing the clan's remnants needed was one more blow, just one more reminder that stability did not exist for them.

Not that he could've told the rest of his family, anyway. Itachi's situation was an A-ranked secret, and, though Sasuke couldn't sense them, he knew there were at least half a dozen ANBU watching his every move. Being the next clan head had a few advantages, but not that many.

And no matter how many hours he waited by his big brother's bed, the older Uchiha wouldn't wake up. Not until his disease was cured, at least, and there was little enough hope of that. No, in order to cure him, they'd need to find a medic on par with the great Tsunade, at least, but she hadn't been seen in the village since Orochimaru had left. So, there was no hope, though Sasuke kept hoping and the doctors kept trying, anyway.

He sighed and stood up. Whether he liked it or not, it was time to go and pack for his team's new mission.

At the Uchiha compound's gates, as always, he found Hiro, the second oldest survivor and therefore technically his second-in-command. The boy would turn eight in just one more month, and how he always knew when his leader was coming home was yet one more mystery in the heir's life.

"Sasuke," the child greeted with a slight bow, "how has your day been?"

The twelve-year-old smiled. "It has been well so far. My team just received a C-rank mission to the Land of Waves."

Hiro grinned. "One more C-rank and fifteen more Ds and you'll be qualified to enter the Chuunin Exams in six months, right?"

"Yes, but you'll be in charge while I'm gone, which will likely be a minimum of two weeks."

Hiro fell silent at that.

"I know it's stressful, so I'm going to request an ANBU team to help out, alright?" Sasuke saw no reason to inform his cousin that there was always at least one on standby so that he didn't actually have to request anything.

"Alright," he muttered, "but I don't like it."

"You're young; you're not supposed to have this much responsibility."

The boy jerked his head around to stare at his superior. "Neither are you, Sasuke. How do you handle it?"

Without a shred of dishonesty in his voice, the ninja replied, "With the help of the ANBU, of course."

"Ah. The world's best babysitters," Hiro deadpanned.

Sasuke smirked, knowing perfectly well there were at least four ANBU watching them at all times and that they'd probably overheard that comment. "You have no idea."

Hiro rolled his eyes.

"Seriously. Who do you think watches after the Hokage's family while he's away? And how about the nobles and kids of famous ninja?"

Now the seven-year-old's green eyes widened. "Really?"

"Really."

"Cool!"

Hook, line, and sinker. Now the ANBU would have no choice but to help out his little cousin; no one could resist Hiro's puppy dog eyes full of hero worship. But Sasuke made a mental note to include a nice bonus in their payments, regardless. A very tiny pebble hitting him in the back of his head let him know that their conversation had indeed been overheard.

Sasuke smirked wider and just kept walking.

Along the way, he passed Mai and Sano, the two youngest remaining members of the Uchiha clan at five years old and betrothed to each other since birth, playing a game of tag with a few older cousins in the streets. Mai, Sasuke noted, was far more agile than Sano and should be placed in the academy soon in order to further develop her talents. The boy, on the other hand, possessed a downright brilliant mind and yet lacked any and all grace essential to shinobi. He'd have a private tutor teach the five-year-old tactics until he was sure Sano would not injure himself with taijutsu lessons.

But the real star, the one with the most untapped potential the Uchiha clan had to offer, was Hiro's half-sister Mikoto, lovingly named after Sasuke's own mother...before their clan's unfortunate demise, of course. Miko's green eyes and light, almost blonde hair all but screamed to the world that she was the result of an affair with a man outside their clan (after the woman's husband's death, thankfully), but that mattered little to the future clan leader. The Yamanaka had no clue they had an extra family member, and the biological father was dead, so there was nothing to worry about. Dark brown contacts and hair dye whenever she left the compound took care of the non clan members' suspicions, and the ANBU, Sasuke had found, were very discreet. (They had better be, for the price he was paying them to keep the little ones safe twenty-four hours a day.)

But whom should he betroth her to? Not that he'd hold her to the arranged marriage if she truly objected, of course; he just wanted the girl to have some options readily available to her. Perhaps it should be someone from outside the clan, even. The Sharingan was recessive, so it was doubtful she'd be able to pass it on, anyway. But even without the bloodline, she was clearly very, very talented. No doubt the six-year-old would pass her class's next Genin exam...if he let her take it. Sasuke was still rather undecided on that option.

He shrugged and continued on. There would be time for such thoughts later.

It didn't take long for him to get home—which was actually a mansion where all the children lived. With so many children and so few to watch them, it had made sense to keep them all in one area. Besides, many of the homes and shops had long since fallen into disrepair or even burned to the ground. Where else could they live?

Sasuke had fought tooth and nail to keep his own family home from the same fate, and he often found himself standing in front of his parents' room for a reason he just couldn't put his finger on. Then, he'd quietly clean and sweep up all the dust that had accumulated since his last visit—usually a day or two before. Sometimes, a whole week went by before he found himself visiting again.

There were days when Sasuke wished with all his heart that he could be a carefree child again. When the stresses of raising well over a dozen cousins began getting to him, he found himself standing inside his childhood home more often.

But today he had no time for such thoughts. He was going on his first C-ranked mission, a huge step towards his goal of becoming clan head and protecting what was left of his family. Special Jounin—he could practically feel it getting close enough to touch. That brought a sense of both excitement and dread.

As clan head, he'd be expected to immediately marry.

While he rummaged through his various clothes—his current shirt was dark enough to sneak around in; he'd be sure to pack it, but the white shorts would have to go—he idly wondered if he could afford to marry for love. Not that he was in love at the moment, of course, but who knew what the future would bring? A wimp was out of the question, so perhaps an older woman would be better than choosing anyone his own age.

Except for Hinata, but that would be nothing short of disastrous.

_'What about one of the ANBU? Yes, perhaps I could pay one to provide me with a few children. I'll make it a paid mission, and then I won't have to deal with an annoying wife. We can go our separate ways as soon as the kids are born. I won't even have to have sex with her; I can just donate or something.'_

With that hope-filled, yet naïve, thought, Sasuke finished his packing—at the last second, he chose outfits without the Uchiha insignia as a safety precaution—and headed out the door.

Along the way, he ran into Sakura, much to her excitement and his annoyance.

"Hi, Sasuke!" she called...as if he hadn't immediately seen her pink hair and turned around fast.

He stopped. Irritating or not, it was his job as future clan leader to be at least civil to each person he met. But it was such an effort sometimes! "Hello, Sakura," he replied tiredly.

"Do you like my new dress? I got it just for this mission! Well, actually, I got it and three others, just in case they get dirty, you know."

The Uchiha took in the red, Chinese-style dress and blinked. "Isn't that the exact same dress you always wear?"

Sakura gasped, clearly offended. "It is NOT! For your information, it's a darker red, just in case we run across bandits and need to hide!"

Darker? By, what, half a shade? It looked the same to him, but he let that fact pass. "And the white circle on the back helps, because...?"

Her jaw dropped. "B-but...it's...it's my clan's symbol! I have to wear it with every outfit!"

He blinked again. "Why?"

She stuttered out something about proper protocol for a moment before stating that he wore his clan symbol all the time, so he wasn't one to talk.

Sasuke barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes. "I'm not wearing it."

"W-w-what?"

"It's not safe; enemies wouldn't think twice about kidnapping me for my bloodline or killing me for the same reason. Uchihas are kind of endangered, you know."

She just gaped.

"But I didn't know you were part of a clan." That meant he'd have to be extra polite, depending on her family's political clout. Drat.

"Um, not exactly."

Sasuke felt his heart leap in joy.

"We—my grandfather, that is—came from Uzushiogakure before it fell. It was just him and his three sons, and I'm not quite sure why they left, but they registered as a clan when they arrived. My father said it was the only way to make sure they didn't split everyone up." She shrugged. "They called themselves the Haruno clan after that, but I'm the only one left now, aside from my mother. I guess I wear it to remember them..."

Now the future clan head felt like crap. Sure, it was great that she didn't have the slightest bit of political clout, but still! He hated feeling guilty. Sasuke sighed and began walking forward again. "What was your family's name before they migrated?" he asked, just to be polite.

"I don't know, but they traveled with a girl named Kushina."

He stopped dead in his tracks at that. Kushina, the woman his mother had always said was her best friend, had been from Whirlpool. "Sakura..."

"Yes?" she asked with hope lighting her eyes.

"This Kushina...what do you know about her?"

"Well...her last name was Uzumaki and she had hair the color of tomatoes."

"Uzumaki?" He hadn't known that. "Like Naruto?"

Sakura blinked. "I guess so. Strange..."

The Uchiha had to laugh at that.

The girl put her hands on her hips and glared a bit. "What's so funny?"

"Sakura," he managed through his laughter, "Naruto's probably your cousin!"

Her flabbergasted expression kept his spirits up for the rest of the day.

* * *

><p><em>11:38<em>

Kakashi sighed. He hated leaving on missions while Rin was in such a condition, but it really was to the betterment of the village and his little brother. She'd give birth to Kazuko soon, and the last thing he wanted was to miss it.

That, and he'd miss other things. Rin was a wonderful cook, conversationalist, ninja, friend, and she was literally glowing in her seventh month. If nothing else, he absolutely loved just sitting and looking at her for hours each day. Once she'd given birth, he'd have to get her pregnant again as soon as possible. Nothing could be better than watching her body become even more beautiful and perfect than it had been. Nothing could compare to seeing their child grow inside of her.

The Copy-nin literally had to drag himself away from her lips in order to get out the door in time. "Miss...you..." he said in between kisses.

She giggled and pushed him outside. "Go on before you're late, mister. The boys and I will be fine."

Kakashi smiled. He'd made sure of that with a team of ANBU keeping an eye on them, but his wife didn't need to know that. "Right. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Her eyes darkened with an emotion that immediately had Kakashi running back to her.

"I can be a few hours late," he whispered into her ear. "They won't mind."

With laughter in her voice, she told him he'd have to wait till he and his team came back. "It'll be something to look forward to."

The Jounin decided then and there that this C-rank had better be easy, or their client was going to get it. He wanted to get home quickly, darn it!

* * *

><p><em>May 13, 3:15 p.m.<em>

'_This is not a C-rank,'_ Naruto mused as he dodged a gauntlet dripping with poison. '_At least these two aren't particularly strong. Chuunin, I'd guess, and specifically meant for assassinations, not direct combat.'_

It was a relief, as it meant he and Kakashi had a better chance of protecting their teammates.

Except that Kakashi was playing hide-and-freak-the-newbies-out. Sasuke and he were handling it, instead.

The Uchiha was attacking the...taller one with fire—which impressed Naruto, as the boy hadn't even called out the jutsu—and doing his best to dodge the various kunai and shuriken sent flying his way, while Sakura was, surprisingly, standing strong (or strong-ish, at least) in front of their client. He'd expected her to run and hide behind a tree.

Naruto, of course, was barely finding the fight a challenge. Their attackers were the Gaki Brothers. Or was it the Gatling Brothers? Heck, maybe it was Catnip. Naruto couldn't remember for the life of him, and his eyes glazed over as he tried to remember.

The missing-nin noticed this and cursed. "Fight me! Take me seriously!" He swung his clawed hand towards the boy's face.

The twelve-year-old lazily moved his head out of the way and blinked. "Huh?"

He cursed again. "You...! I'll show you!"

With those words, Naruto's opponent attempted to do something that supposedly was noteworthy, but a quick chop to the back of his neck stopped it at once. "You Catnip Brothers really aren't much to speak of, are you?" he muttered. Then, he looked over at Sasuke and saw that he had also finished off his opponent...only a bit more permanently.

The ANBU whistled. The second half of the Gaki Brothers was burnt to a crisp and definitely dead—no, wait... "Whoa, is that guy still breathing?"

"Yeah," Sasuke panted as he leaned on his knees. "He pulled some stunt and put a water clone in front of him at the last minute. Didn't do much good, but I guess it kept him alive." The Uchiha straightened up and stared straight at his friend. "By the way, I knew you were good, but not that good. What are you, really? A demoted Jounin?"

"Y-you think I'm a demoted Jounin?"

Sasuke and even Sakura, he noted from the corner of his eye, nodded. "I actually thought Chuunin," she added helpfully, "or a contract ninja."

That was a depressing thought. A contract-nin was essentially a wandering ninja who accepted the occasional freelance mission from a village that didn't want the deed traced back to it. They weren't quite mercenaries, as they typically served only one village for life and were almost always either retired ninja or academy dropouts. Sometimes, they were even the children of ninja and had simply never joined the academy but were exceedingly strong, anyway. To put it simply, contract-nin were essentially ninja who had the skills but not the credentials.

They were highly romanticized in women's novels, too, and because of that fact, Naruto was irritated to realize that the description fit him a little too well.

He sighed. "Never thought of myself that way, to be honest."

"What way?" Sasuke asked.

"As a contract-nin, but I guess that's what I was before."

"Really?" an excited Sakura asked.

Clearly, she'd read some of those books.

"Yeah, sort of."

"Naruto never went to the academy, true, but he's not exactly a contract-nin," Kakashi announced as he suddenly popped back in to check on things. "Hmm. You three did a good job," he muttered as he nudged the burned enemy. "Getting back to the matter at hand, his credentials were given to him straight from the Sandaime himself. He was never assigned a rank because he never worked out in the open."

"'Never worked out in the open'?" Sakura muttered. "Then, does that mean that..."

"He's ANBU!" the dark-haired boy exclaimed.

Kakashi yawned and began tying up their enemies.

"Was ANBU," Naruto corrected. "Now I'm just a freakin' Genin." He was still mourning the loss, too.

"Meizu and Gozu...what are they doing here?" their Jounin instructor muttered to himself.

'I wonder whom they were after. It could've been Kakashi, but I doubt it. They only wanted him out of the way. It also could've been Sasuke, but once again, they just wanted him out of the way, too. Sakura is definitely not at risk, and neither am I, seeing as how no one knows me. That flow of logic leads us to...the drunk. Whose pop-tarts did he pee on?'

"But a member of the black -ops! Why are you a Genin?" their lone kunoichi wondered.

"Because no one knows me," he answered vaguely as he watched one of the Gatling Brothers—the less crispy one—try to roll over and escape. (Kakashi tapped a pressure point in the back of the man's head and took care of that.)

"...What does that have to do with anything?" Sakura asked.

"Can't become Hokage without a little fame." _'I wonder what level this is going to make the mission. It's gotta be at least a B, perhaps even an A if we get more attacks.'_

"Wait a minute...you were serious about that?"

"About what?" the Uchiha demanded.

"About the Hokage making Naruto his successor."

They both turned to him while Kakashi idly flipped through one of his many Icha Icha books. Their lone Jounin giggled, letting them know he wasn't about to get in the middle of their conversation...although he would be listening in on it.

Naruto was still thinking and therefore only halfway paying attention. '_These two aren't ready for a mission of this level. Kakashi and I would be fine, but they should be sent back.' _ He wondered vaguely whether his brother was thinking the same thing. The perverse laughter hinted at the word "no."

"Naruto."

_'I mean, sure, Sakura is at least taking things seriously now, but she's still a wimp.'_ But really, she had improved and could honestly call herself a Genin. It just wasn't enough to handle a mission of this caliber.

"Naruto!"

_'And as for Sasuke, if he isn't a target yet, as soon as they get a good look at those eyes of his, he will be. That would be a huge disaster.' _ However, the Uchiha actually stood a decent chance of surviving a B- or A-rank. If it weren't for the possible kidnapping...

"Hey! Blondie, wake up!"

_'And then there's my brother. He's got a fully-matured Sharingan in his head; there isn't a nation on this planet, ally or not, that wouldn't kill him to get it. Maybe I should handle this by myself, instead.' _Not that the last Hatake would allow such a thing, of course. The man was notoriously protective of his teammates. It tended to get rather annoying, actually. Naruto could clearly remember his own first mission when he'd been sent out to assassinate a bandit leader as some sort of test and a way to get his first kill over and done with. The mere thought of the man stalking him still made his hands clench in irritation.

"Naruto Uzumaki!"

"WHAT!" he shouted back without thinking.

The road got eerily silent.

As did the surrounding forest for around half a mile.

Everyone just stared.

Oops.

"Er, sorry," Naruto said as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

The others just blinked.

"Care to explain that?" Sasuke requested.

Actually, he very much would prefer it if Kakashi explained the situation. But that looked rather doubtful. Naruto was on his own. "Oh. Um, well...how should I put this?"

"You could try just spitting it out. That usually helps," their lone kunoichi blandly stated.

"In that case, I guess I should just go ahead and say that this mission is not C-ranked."

"..."

"..."

"What?"

"We kinda already figured that part out."

"We-e-e-ell, did you figure out the part that you're not ready for that rank yet?"

"Yeeeess..." Their voices were questioning, wondering just what the heck he was talking about.

Perhaps he'd overestimated their intelligence if they couldn't understand what he was trying to tell them. He'd have to use a more...blunt approach. "Kakashi and I have handled things like this before, but you guys should probably...headbacktothevillage," he finished in a rush, hoping that they hadn't quite understood him.

They had, and growled at his suggestion.

Kakashi laughed. "And I'd thought the Demon Brothers were entertaining."

The Demon Brothers? Oh. So that was their name. He'd been way off.

* * *

><p><em>6:22<em>

Several hours had passed since the Demon Brothers' attack, and the sun was just beginning to set. However, to his eternal amusement, Naruto was still silently and subtly fuming. So were Sakura and Sasuke, though not nearly so quietly. (The word "bastard" had come up more than once after having heard Tazuna's story.) And as for Kakashi, he was doing what he did best: reading.

_It was the third time Junko had visited the village, and each time he had done so with a different disguise, the other two having failed to obtain his objective. This time, it was that of a five-year-old boy with dark red hair, bright blue eyes, and the cutest, most soul-searching, innocent face he could imagine. He was, after all, ferreting out a child prostitution ring and had to look like the perfect target. As such, the boy was also an orphan begging on the street._

"_Please, sir," Junko called to a passerby, "can you spare any food or loose change?"_

_The balding man roughly shoved him aside and walked away. _

_However, the lady behind him yelled, "Father! How could you? He's just a child!"_

_Junko looked at her and saw a tall woman with a head of dark purple hair cascading down her back in loose, perfect waves, and her face was exotically beautiful. But her most surprising features were her eyes; they were the exact color of gold._

"_We've got enough mouths to feed as it is!" the stranger yelled at his daughter. "The last thing we need is one more useless straggler to take up space!"_

_Junko didn't fail to notice the man's expensive clothing and jewelry; he could easily have purchased half the city with what he was wearing alone. The woman was dressed more modestly at first glance, but the longer he stared, the more he was sure her clothing had been made to only look less expensive._

_The young woman huffed. "Oh, please! Like we don't have enough money! Besides, all those 'mouths to feed' are-"_

"_Fine! Bring the little brat, but he'd better not cause any trouble!"_

_Something in his senses told the undercover ninja that this was just the break he'd been looking for._

Kakashi literally jumped in glee and excitement at the plot developments in his favorite literature. Sure, he'd read this particular volume around fifty times, but that last line always got to him.

Luckily for him, his leaping about helped him dodge a kunai, thrown by an irritated blonde who had grown tired of his brother's giggling, of course. With that, everyone stopped moving in order to stare at the two males.

"Now, now, Naruto. I'll let you read this when you're a little older. No need to be so greedy."

"Kakashi!" the blonde snapped. "Pay attention!"

"Are you referring to the Jounin thirty-seven degrees to the right or the other Jounin a dozen yards behind the first?"

Of course he'd noticed; he was Kakashi-freakin'-Hatake, the world-renowned Copy-nin. He was no slouch.

But he did acknowledge (to himself) that he'd been just a wee bit distracted by his book and hadn't sensed them until Naruto had thrown a weapon at him. Oops.

Naruto's eyes narrowed in blatant suspicion. "Unseal me," he demanded.

"Hm. No."

"Why not?" he said through clenched teeth.

"You'll never let me put it back on." The Jounin paused to glance at his book. It was just getting to the best part, and he could hardly wait! "And you'll try to kill me," he added nonchalantly. Really, couldn't they let him finish just one more paragraph?

"You can't beat two Jounin on your own!" the boy insisted.

"Eh. We'll see."

"Kakashi!"

"Yes, Naru-chan?"

"Stop being so difficult!"

Kakashi put a hand to his chest in mock hurt. "Me? Being difficult? I would never!"

Naruto readied another kunai and growled.

"Excuse me," a quiet, polite voice interrupted before the growling could form any intelligible words, "but what are you two saying?" Sakura looked very confused.

Kakashi put his book away and smiled. "Why, little Naru-chan-"

Another growl, this time somewhat more feral.

"-and I," he continued as though nothing were wrong, "were discussing our different preferences in literature through a code we developed as a learning exercise when he was eight and this small." He held his hand above the ground to demonstrate.

Coincidentally (of course), it was very close to Naruto's present height.

"...but that's about how tall he is now," his pink-haired student pointed out.

"Well, he's been due for a growth spurt for some time. We're hoping he shows some improvement soon," Kakashi pointed out vaguely as he casually moved his head out of the range of another projectile, courtesy of the boy he'd just called a midget.

"O...kay," Sakura muttered, unsure of what to make of the argument, both unspoken and coded.

Sasuke was just ignoring them at that point as he slyly scanned their surroundings.

The twelve-year-old had to have sensed something. That fact surprised the Jounin. Most Genin would've been completely oblivious. All it did was confirm to Kakashi that he'd made the right decision in letting the two inexperienced children remain on the mission.

"Can't you boys ever be normal? I mean, just one day where nothing crazy happens—that's all I ask for!"

'Well, maybe not in Sakura's case just yet.'

All the same, he wasn't worried about fighting whomever their opponents were. Unknown to Naruto or even Ibiki, Kakashi was far better than he had been five years ago and had made certain improvements to both his physique and jutus repertoire, most of which were now completely sealess. Also, he had his father's old weapon, blade restored to perfection, contained in one of his vest's scrolls. They'd be perfectly fine.

And as he'd pointed out to the blonde, there was no way he'd be taking that seal off Naruto's forehead (covered by his headband to preserve what was left of his dignity). He had specific orders from the Hokage and others that the boy had to learn, and he refused to make Urashima's mistake (1). Things were just as they needed to be.

So, all Kakashi did was grin, pull his book back out, and walk straight into the trap he knew was waiting for them. In the meantime, he noticed Naruto had replaced Tazuna with a transformed shadow clone. _'Very wise. He'll definitely make Chuunin in these next exams.'_ He wasn't particularly worried about their attackers noticing, since Naruto was known for being very subtle with the Basic Three, a talent the boy had developed after the Uchiha Disaster.

His blonde student glared at his back (which was very highly entertaining, as always) as the group wandered into a deep mist just before they reached a river containing a small, rarely-used dock surrounded by trees. Supposedly, there'd be a boat waiting to transport them to Wave, but...Kakashi very much doubted the old man's friend was still alive.

'The Demon Brothers defected from Mist, so it's likely their partners up ahead are from Mist, as well, but two missing-nin of this level rarely work together. Perhaps only the one using this jutsu is from that village. If that's the case, I should be wary; the other nin's abilities are a complete mystery.'

"Kashi!" Naruto suddenly yelled as he threw a handful of shuriken at an innocent-looking tree.

However, if the blonde powerhouse and sensor had attacked it, there was no way it was innocent.

Kakashi figured it was time to put away his book.

Darn.

* * *

><p>Naruto was on the verge of panic. Sure, he'd gotten their client out of the way, but what about Sasuke and Sakura? He was at half strength! What was he supposed to do?<p>

A tiny flicker to the left told him someone had just Body Flickered there, and a closer "look" showed that the person was readying some sort of water-based jutsu and aiming it at Kakashi. "Kashi!" he yelled in warning as he let loose a barrage of weapons. However, the enemy simply dodged and Flickered to a tree a few more yards away. _'This is not my day, this is not my day, this is not my day!'_

His grey-haired brother, he noted, merely put his book away with calm efficiency that had the blonde ANBU wanting to strangle him. "Hmm...you might as well come out, you know. We've already got your positions pinpointed."

Naruto growled. He had the enemies' positions pinpointed; Kakashi just wanted to sound all-knowing. "Bastard," he muttered.

"Well, well," a deep voice spoke from the mist, "what do we have here?" The figure moved closer, his footsteps absolutely silent as he walked. "It looks like...a Jounin with his three little Genin brats. Isn't that cute?" He finished stepping out of the mist to reveal a tall, shirtless man with dark, spiky hair and bandages covering the bottom half of his face.

"Zabuza!" he exclaimed before he could help himself.

Zabuza's head whipped around to stare directly at him. "And who are you, little boy? Didn't your mommy ever teach you not to address your betters without their permission?"

Kakashi was also watching Naruto with a bit of surprise.

Naruto snorted. "Didn't your mommy ever teach you how to dress yourself in the morning?"

Team Seven's sensei choked and one of his teammates whimpered.

The missing-nin growled. "If you intend to keep your head, boy, you'll learn to keep your mouth shut!"

"Er, Naruto-"

But the Genin just smirked. "No matter how high the mist, the falcon can always fly above it."

After a moment, Zabuza's eyes widened, and his sword was out and pointed in the blonde's direction in a flash. "Care to explain your little words, child?"

A smirk blossomed on Naruto's face at that, and he had only one thing to say: "You owe me."

"Huh?" a chorus of confused voices sounded out.

Zabuza's eyes twitched and he growled out, "Owe you, do I? We'll see about that!"

With those words, the tension in the air increased threefold and Sasuke and Sakura started breathing harshly in fear. Kakashi readied his chakra for some kind of lightening-based attack and lifted up his headband to show his Sharingan.

But Naruto did not move or even blink, and after a few moments, the gigantic sword lowered and the mist lightened as the man sighed. "This had better be worth my time."

"Oh, it is. Trust me."

"Riiiight..."

"You know, I didn't recognize your chakra signatures—I guess the other one's Haku. Does that mean you managed to alter it like you'd said you would?"

The missing-nin snorted. "No, you just have a bad memory, you little runt. It's impossible to alter your signature."

Naruto huffed. "Then why'd you say that you were going to?" he demanded as he crossed his arms.

Zabuza rolled his eyes and leaned against his giant weapon. "To mess with your head. Needless to say, it wasn't exactly hard to do."

"What are you—hey! That's just plain mean!"

Haku leapt down to join his master as the older man huffed. "Welcome to real life. And it took you long enough to join us, Haku."

The feminine boy (Naruto still had his doubts about that gender) bowed. "I am sorry, Master. I was-"

"I know. It's fine, boy," the Demon of the Mist said as he held up a hand. "Naruto here has a proposition for us."

The blonde rolled his eyes and got straight to the point. "How much is Gato paying you?"

"For killing the old man or taking down the Copy-nin?"

Naruto blinked. "...both...?"

Zabuza smirked. "About 70,000 in cash. Why? Think you can match it, little kid?"

Naruto thought about it for a moment. Could he...? Probably. He had quite a bit saved up from various high-level missions. Still, that was pretty pricy. Missing-nin were notoriously expensive, but the jobs they took on weren't exactly government-approved, either. He himself made perhaps a tenth of what the Demon of the Mist was getting paid for one A-rank. "Actually, I probably could-"

Kakashi and his teammates choked and sputtered. "N-Naruto-"

The blonde ignored them. "-but that's not what I had in mind."

"Then, what?"

A smirk formed on the twelve-year-old's face. "I thought you'd never ask. But first, let's catch up a bit. It's been...how long since we last saw each other?"

"Three glorious years," Zabuza deadpanned.

"...I'd forgotten just how rude you can be."

"With your IQ, I wouldn't be surprised if you'd forgotten your own birthday."

"Cruel, you old shark-face. Very cruel."

"'Shark-face'?" a bewildered Kakashi asked.

Naruto didn't even glance out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah. You'll understand if you ever see his teeth."

"Brat!" the missing-nin snapped.

"Shark-face."

"...this is gonna be a long night, isn't it?" Sasuke sighed as he turned to their Jounin sensei.

Kakashi shook his head. "Probably."

* * *

><p><em>8:42<em>

It didn't take a genius to figure out the two had met on one of Naruto's ANBU missions, which Sakura was still reeling over. Naruto, an ANBU? It was bewildering to think that the black-loving preteen was considered powerful enough to be among the elite—and he was their age!

(Good lord, what had she been doing all these years?)

But it was even more astounding to realize he was apparently acquainted with a missing-nin like the Demon of the Hidden Mist, once called the Bloody Mist before Zabuza had come along and murdered a whole class of students. (Sakura did have to hand it to the man, though; it was only because of him that those "exams" had ceased. Perhaps, in the long run, he'd saved more lives than he'd taken.)

She watched in badly-hidden awe as her teammate and the deadly man conversed in something resembling a civilized manner as they all sat around a small fire in a semicircle and stared at each other warily. Really, they seemed to trade insults and barely-hidden contempt back and forth, as though each were a step away from tearing the other's throat out. Even Zabuza's partner winced more than once at the exchanges and kept his hands close to his weapons at all times. The fog may have dissipated, but the tension in the air kept anyone from being comfortable.

Sakura was forced to come to the conclusion that the two didn't like one another...at all.

So, what was up with the whole "you owe me" thing? They weren't friends, were barely less than enemies, and yet...it was certainly odd. Had Naruto saved Zabuza's life or something? It seemed to be the most likely scenario. But...

"How'd you meet Mr. Momochi, Naruto?" she asked.

"That's...well, that one's a bit classified. I will tell you, however, that some demons aren't what they seem to be at first glance."

"So...he's not a freaky-looking mass-murderer?" she ventured hesitantly. _'Did Kakashi just snicker?'_

"Oh, no, he's definitely _that_. I just meant he's not entirely heartless."

"Oh. Um, ok..." Sakura really didn't know what else to say to that, except to ask, "What exactly does he owe you?"

Naruto positively smirked but didn't answer.

The freaky-looking mass-murderer, however, did. "That's between the two of us, pipsqueak, so keep your nose out of it."

She shuddered. "Got it." The girl had no doubt he could force her to "keep her nose out of it" if he so chose.

But someone came to her defense. "Hey, lighten up, butt-wipe!" Naruto snapped at Zabuza.

"What did you call me?" the large man snarled.

"What, are you deaf _and_ senile?"

Sakura's green eyes widened, and there was only one thing going through her mind: _'Oh, shi-'_

"Want me to carve a hole in that throat of yours?"

"Bring it, butt-wipe!"

"Why, you-"

It was, indeed, a sleepless night even long after the two strangers had left.

Maybe they should've gone back to the village, after all.

* * *

><p>Notes:<p>

(1) Urashima Taro—a young fisherman who took a trip with a tortoise to visit the Sea King's Palace, married the princess, and was said to have had a very gentle heart. His one mistake, ironically enough, was opening a box against orders, at which point he immediately became an aged and decrepit man and lost his wife. Kakashi's suggesting he will not be nearly so foolish. (By the way, if this is an inaccurate representation of this legend, keep in mind that I'm not Japanese nor an expert in their customs, cultures, or legends. I read it in a book. Shoot the book.)

Yes, it's the Wave Arc. It's one of the foundational events in Naruto's life, according to both manga and anime. It's not going anywhere. End of discussion.

Anyway, yes, this chapter has been rather delayed. Here's why: I got promoted (which gave more hours, more responsibilities, and more work for _slightly_ higher pay), I temporarily moved into an apartment without internet access (where I'm still at until I can move into the brand-new house I just bought), and I seem to gravitate towards friends with more drama than politicians have mistresses (don't let that whole Democrats-versus-Republicans thing fool you; they've both got their own versions of slime). Needless to say, such issues have seriously cut into my time for writing, let alone all those mundane things, such as eating, sleeping, sneezing, etc. And they already want to promote me again. (If it weren't for the fact that many of the others considered for the same promotion suck, I'd think I was doing something right. As it is, I think they see me as some sort of last resort. Lovely.)

Now you know why I don't have an updating schedule. Just be glad the chapter's up.

P.S. Keep in mind the narrative's perspectives. Each character has a different way of seeing things and of thinking. Just because one of them believes something doesn't make it true.


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